Football
1. 'I couldn't settle in Italy, it was like living a foreign country'
2. 'someone once said you write on postage stamp Barry Frys knowledge of football, I would say you need to fold the stamp in half'
3. 'I would rather gouge my eyes out with a rusty spoon than have david Oleary back at Leeds'
4. 'A man so dull he once made the papers for a one in a bed romp'on Alan Shearer