B & Q assister

[kevin3]

 I got a job as a customer assister at B & Q   
 
I lasted less than a day. About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, 
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had  been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Asda. 
Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'
The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 
'Hell no, they ain't  twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7. 
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?'
So I replied, 
'I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, 
I just couldn't believe someone shagged you twice. 
Have a good day and thank you for shopping at B & Q'
My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.           

[KKOB]

Just got banned from B&Q, some dickhead in an orange apron came up to me and asked if I wanted decking!!

Lucky I got the first punch in.

[Scunner]

 I got a job as a customer assister at B & Q   
 
I lasted less than a day. About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, 
unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, Yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
As I had  been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Asda. 

Why did you say that Kevin? You got a job at B&Q not Asda

[Hamlet]

The last time I read this joke he had just got a job at WalMart.
Certainly getting around and upsetting a lot of ugly women! 

[kevin3]

  Think i'll leave the jokes to others.     Less hassle.       

[mary62]

Kev dont do that ....please