How to Live with Women.

[Colwyn]

This is the title of a new programme on BBC4 tonight. Obviously it will be some kind of fiction - do you think it will be fantasy or horror?

[Highlander]

It's a very long time since I had a fantasy about women Colwyn

[GordonA]

I'm keeping it quiet, Colwyn, sitting far too adjacent to the Mem-Sa'b, I'm afraid!!  
Gordy.

[Colwyn]

I have lived with women for 60 of my 64 years. What I know about it could be fitted onto the back of a stamp. This is what I have learned:

When the bathroom is empty - use it!
- even if you don't think you really need to.
It may be hours before you get another chance.

[Scunner]

If they have a good idea, make sure you let them know their idea is a good one. If you have a good idea, let them think they thought of it.

[loz]

You got that wrong Scunner, we women think of the good ideas and turn it so that you men think you thought of it first :

[Colwyn]

Loz, you are just repeating Scunner's good idea - proving his point.

[loz]

Not quite Colwyn.
A little story; When we first moved to Turkey and furnishing our house we wanted an item of furniture for the TV to sit on, after days of searching we could not agree, the next day I went out with a friend just going round the shops and found a little shop selling chestnut furniture, me and the friend sat in the shop drinking Turkish Tea and admiring the furniture made by his son from north Turkey.  I spied some furniture "A MUST HAVE"! but being the good wife thought I would wait for Gordon and let him choose.
The following day we were out in the car, no where in particular but I managed to direct Gordon down the street where the furniture shop was, outside was the exact same furniture that I had chosen the day before.  Gordon innocently said "Oh that looks nice I think we will park up" we went into the shop, looked at furniture and Gordon 'chose' the items placed outside, BINGO I got what I wanted and Gordon thought it was all down to him for spotting the shop and furniture.

My friend had even told the old chap in the shop to pretend never to have seen me yet to put these items in plane view the next day.
It took Gordon 2 years to learn that it was a set up!  
:

[bewva]

Loz, I think that Gordy would have sussed your plan, seen right through it and just bought the furniture to get you to think you had set it up and fooled him. Man 1 step ahead again.

[Highlander]

OMG I thought I understood that living with a woman wasn't simple, but if I'd known it was a complicated as you guys make it, I would have given up trying ages ago.

For once it isn't Mrs H who has the headcahe