The coolest real name of a person I have known was my ex-colleague, a wonderful guy called Richard Duck, yes Dick Duck etc... (he confidently told us, early on his first day he'd heard all the jokes, by 5pm he wearily admitted he hadn't). He was truly blessed, as one of the usual comments he had to endure was "Have you got webbed feet?".
Hilarious.
I swear to you, he used to say nothing in reply, take a shoe and sock off and incredibly, Mr. Richard Duck does have webbed toes