Calis Beach and Fethiye Turkey Discussion Forum
Property For Sale in Calis Beach & Turkey => Moving To Turkey => Topic started by: cas on August 13, 2009, 02:32:04 AM
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8)
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: :)
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In the sun with your sunnies on is not going to school...nice as it may be:D
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thats not my children with sunnies on, thats me... can anyone help ??
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That would probably need a question, then I'm sure help will flow :)
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Thanks scunner, i need lots of help, in making this BIG decision, had no idea about this site, glad my friend told me about it now, i have learned a little, but still lots more to take into account,
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So what is the question....it comes before the answer:D
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Yes, cas, what is it you need to know!
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childrens schooling, is number 1, me and partner if we were to get married, my rights as his wife when the time comes of his death, i need to make a will, how long do i have to live there, before i can actually move there for good, i.e live with partner and family, children his and mine, i am divorced, can my ex stop me from taking children out to live in turkey, do i need a solicitor out there? Can the children have 6 months off english school to live in turkey just to learn the language,
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My goodness girls you both bitten off a great big project!
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I have a few of the answers to my questions, but still need a few more answers,,1- kids schooling, language before they attend turkish school....
2- i need english friends who have done the same, got kids, live and are married to a turkish man,
Me and my partner are serious about me moving out so, any advice will be appreciated,
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Where are the questions caz?
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If your children were to attend a private school, their level of Turkish upon entry to the school would not be required to be very high as they do cater for foreign children and have extra Turkish classes for them. If you were wanting them to go to one of the government schools, their Turkish language and written skills would need to be much higher as they do not have the teaching staff to give the extra lessons, and all lessons (apart from English as a foreign language) will be in Turkish.
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So, MINIMOO, do you know of a turkish/english tutor, some one that would come to the home and teach the children and myself, the necessary requirements for them to attend a goverment school, i really cant afford for the 3 of them to go to a private school, thanks for the information, i appreciate it, and any further help about the home tutoring , Thanks, Caz
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Sorry Cas, no I don't know of any tutors or how to go about home schooling. With my son I put him in the private school until his Turkish was at a good enough level to move into the government school.
There are lots of turkish teachers who advertise in the Land of Lights newspaper, so it might be worth having a look at that online. I know when we asked our Turkish teacher about doing extra tutoring for my son (5 years ago mind you), he said he only dealt with adults, but it's possible you could find someone who will teach kids.
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Contact Nese via FIG, she is a great teacher, speaks good English as well and is a very comfortable person, who I am sure, the children will enjoy being taught by.
If you look at the Land of Lights, you will get details for fig from that.
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Me and my 3 children are coming out to Calis on the 8th march, can,t wait, will be discussing schooling etc with my partner, and ofcourse our future as a family, we have now been together for almost a year,,,wow!!!Lots of people said it wudn t last, but we have both proved them WRONG...Even the ENGLISH people, living in CALIS told my partner, that it wudnt last, but HEY HO, almost a year later,, i think its good going to say we only have internet, web cam contact and the occasionall fone call, o and a holiday x2 a year, ..
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I think a lot of failed relationships might have lasted 12 months or longer if you only saw each other twice a year.
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LOL Scunner, you could not make it up.
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Thank God you said that, I thought it was me [:o]
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i think am getting like victor meldrew...i dont believe it!!!!
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Surely a wind up.
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Sadly not
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OOPS.
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:o :o:D
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Unfortunately another one will bite the dust!!
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Sadly as an offshoot of this incredible love story of two people still together after a couple of fortnights on holiday and half a dozen phone calls spanning a year, 3 kids will find themselves uprooted from their school and routine in the UK, dragged along as baggage in this quest to be with the man of mum's dreams.
Maybe most people would say nothing, but you brought your story to the public forum here. Why is it all about what you want? Surely what's best for your kids is more important than going off to live with someone you hardly know. My experience is that the kids I recall previously from similar upheavals kick stones along sokaks day in day out as they walk around in all weathers with absolutely nothing to do to pass the time as mum didn't think school was all that important and she isn't around much either.
Maybe you will be the one that chases her dream and catches it, it would be about time it happened for some British mother looking for love. But if you think your few weeks, few emails and few phone calls over a year are proof that it's right to drag your kids behind you so you can do what's right for you alone then it is obvious you haven't got a bloody clue about anything.
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Hear Hear! What a shame for the kids and what will they come back to when Mum has sold everything to get out to Turkey and there is nothing there!!
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This may be a lot of rot, but someone in the past few days has told me that the father has to give written permission for his children to enter Turkey. Maybe someone knows if this is correct?
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Kieth, eloquently put and hope caz takes your points on board, but after 10 years in this area i still find it hard to believe that this goes on year after year just crazy.
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Again I can only comment on my previous experiences, but it seems each individual British woman understands there are other British women who's dreams quickly fell apart but they found "the good one". At this time (as in now, today) not one of them will listen to a single word of advice from people who do know a bit about the subject. Such people will be seen as stirrers, poking their nose in, maybe because they can't bear to see anyone happy, or some other way to justify why they are trying to wreck their future as opposed to being genuinely concerned at the tunnel vision they see before them.
Make a list; relationships of this nationality combination that worked, those that didn't. Even us hardened onlookers didn't see some of them turning to dust, but most did. I'm not anti at all, I know some stunningly successful relationships and marriages of this type, but they did take more than a fortnight or two to get to know each other - in fact they mostly took a number of years.
It's a very high risk plan, and sadly the stats prove that :(
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Yes I too have heard that same thing Rindaloo about needing the father's permission, the reason I had heard it before was again a mother was planning to take her child to live in Turkey with her new love of five minutes and did not think she was going to get the permission from the dad to do so!
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To be honest i don't agree with Scunner's opinion very often but have to say on this I do. PLEASE think seriously about this Caz, your children would fall way behind in their schooling as opposed to schooling in the UK. Their futures here would be very bleak with regards to jobs etc (come out here in Winter and see the amount of young people unemployed, there are no jobs!), they would have no friends/interaction with kids of their own age until they learnt the language. You would probably have to live with the boyfriends family (unless he has his own house) and there is a definite pecking order!. And, unless he is very cosmopolitan in his outlook and education you will find your opinions, thoughts, desires etc. really not worth much. So many ladies come and get disillusioned very quickly. Then you're stuck unless you have enough money to go back to something. Turkey is great for a holiday. Unless you have the finances for independence and a reasonable standard of living it could be quite dire.
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I have to agree on some of the points raised here. I myself was a single mother who moved here. Very luckily for me, my man is a good man, and 6 years down the road we are still together, and he is very much a father to my son. I am also lucky to be in the position that I have my parents living here full time. If at any time, my son had said he was unhappy here, I would not have hesitated to take him back to the UK. I feel it was always quite fortunate that prior to my move to Turkey, I did not have access to the internet, as I think it is very easy to come across as something you are not, and equally as easy to hide things about your life. Myself and my husband had to make more of an effort to keep in touch, many,many phone calls (mostly from him) and loads of letters were exchanged. My husband also spent a lot of time with my parents here while I was back in the UK, and received their approval.
With regards to education, my son does exceptionally well here at school, however, we have made the decision that when he completes school here, which will be in a couple of years, we will return to the UK as a family, and enroll my son at school to do his G.C.S.E's. I am very aware that he may possibly need some outside tutoring to enable him to do this, and am quite prepared to get this extra help for him. My thinking in doing all of this is that he will then have qualifications which are more recognisable than the Turkish school diploma, my son has always said that he wants to attend college and university in the UK (and learn to drive there funnily enough!) and also it will improve his job prospects.
Having said all of that, there have been advantages for my son living here. The climate has completely cleared his eczema, which blighted his life from birth until we moved here, he is now fluent in 2 languages and keen to learn another, and he has also become very self confident, and more of a leader, whereas in the UK, he was a follower.
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Minimoo, thank you for your post and I'm really glad that yours is a 'success' story. You obvously spent the time and effort getting to know each other before making the decision
But, as we know, there are quite a number of stories that don't end so happily and I can't help but feel that it would sad to uproot 3 children from their friends, schools, family, prospects etc. without first finding out if a holiday relationship/acquaintance is THE love of my life.
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I have to agree with Scunner and Peecees comments. It's just selfish madness to uproot children like that for a man you don't even know. Sorry if that sounds harsh but I too have seen this all before.
I met my husband 15 years ago. Like you Minimoo we had no access to skype or msn or any of those things - and meant lots of effort on both sides for calls/letters/visits etc. We didn't get married after a year, either.
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Cas - you haven't come back on to comment....? The guys aren't being overly harsh - sadly us that 'know' Turkey (and not just Turkey I might add !) have seen so many dreams shot down in flames, that I think the warnings should be heard. Yes, it can work out, but far too many don't. I wish you all the very best in what ever you decide - I'm sure as a Mum you will decide to do whatever is best for the children.
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Everything gone quiet then?
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I seriously hope Cas has had a re-think and only leaves for a holiday tomorrow!
Keep thinking about what is going to happen to the kids!!
:o :o :o