Some you may have had before
Two blondes living in Townsville were sitting on a bench
talking........
And one blonde says to the other, "Which do
you think is farther away.......... Melbourne or the
moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can
you see Melbourne ...
??"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died.
After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling
smoothly. She says, "What's the story?"
He replies, "Just crap in the carburretor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her
very nicely if he could see her licence.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your
act together. Just yesterday you take away my licence and then
today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a
river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!"
she shouts, "How can I get to the other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river
and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office
and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even
more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she
pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched
made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The
American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the
first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook
their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll
burn up!" said The Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're
going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone
calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired
two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named
Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs
like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blonde.
"They're watch dogs!"
