Calis Beach and Fethiye Turkey Discussion Forum
Calis Beach Forum => CBF Member Blogs => Topic started by: ArtyMar on February 20, 2015, 21:55:09 PM
-
Just seen the 'new topic' label at the top, so . . . here goes . . .
OCTOBER 2009 LONDON
BLOG 1: wouldn’t it be nice…
Am I really going to do this? I don’t mean ‘buying the dream’ – we’ve already done that. I mean, set about writing a blog about it. My fellow CBFers might wade through it – I hope so, or why bother writing it? But perhaps that doesn’t matter too much – maybe I’m really doing it for me. I’ll read through it, and remember the highs and the lows (and boy, there were plenty of those along the way).
So, here goes. To start this ongoing saga, we have to wind back the clock: 2014/2013/2012/2011/2010 …back to October 2009. . . .
I’m in my bedroom at home in London. It’s late October and I’m looking outside through the window. Grey skies - beginning to drizzle. Winter is coming – months of cold, rain and gloom lie ahead. Half term week is approaching. Wouldn’t it be great to get away – somewhere sunny –
Say idly to OH (other half, next to me): “Wouldn’t it be great to get away – somewhere sunny –“
He is reading the paper, says “mmm”.
Me: “Where should we go? I’ll have to book soon if we really want to get away, my half term starts next week!” (I’m an art teacher).
He continues to read paper, says “mmm”.
“So shall I look for somewhere – somewhere warm? Shall I go ahead? We’ll have to be quick!”
He says “mmm” again. In my present mood, that means “yes” so I start to Google “holidays in the Sun”. There are so many lovely places. Ah, this looks interesting: a week in a place called ‘Olu Deniz’ – never heard of it – in Turkey. Hotel, meals included, and so cheap. A good package deal. Can’t really go wrong with a price like that and it looks lovely. To my delight, OH agrees, or at least doesn’t say no. We’ve travelled a lot over the years to many countries but only been to Turkey once before and that was many years ago, to Bodrum.
I start to Google “Olu Deniz”.
It will be the last week of October, hope the weather will still be sunny. Olu Deniz, here we come! We’ve booked!
-
Glad you decided to post - look forward to the next one.......thanks.
-
Look forward to your next post ArtyMar 8)
-
Would you believe it,that's how we first started out . Last week in October in Olu Deniz staying at the Pink Palace. We'll never forget it for many reasons.
-
Well, Chris35, you'll have to start your blog - so we can find out why you'll never forget it!
My aim is to post a weekly edition of my blog. Let's see if I can do it!
-
:)
We'll remind you ..... good reading, Marcia!
-
OCTOBER 2009 OLU DENIZ
BLOG 2: Taste of Turkey
Here we are in our all inclusive hotel in Olu Deniz. It’s great. If we get up early enough (about 8 am) we can have a cooked breakfast to our own specification – otherwise there’s a good buffet. Hotel is 3-star, simply furnished but spacious and clean and only a minute from the ‘pedestrian only’ lively area of shops, cafes and bars leading down to the beach and lovely lagoon. Even though it’s late October, the weather is warm, sunny and bright but not too hot. Perfect. I’m congratulating myself on discovering this treasure. We wander down past the car barrier toward the beach. This place obviously caters to British tourists as many of the cafes and bars have blackboards outside advertising current English football league matches being broadcast on TV. Music is blaring forth from some, but there is plenty of choice and I pull OH away from these temptations: “we didn’t come here for that!” (in my best school-marm voice).
My OH is a collector. By that I mean he collects ‘souvenirs’: magnets, postcards, nicknacks, magazines – you name it – if he sees it, he may start a collection, so this densely populated tourist area is a paradise for him. In days gone by, he was an avid tourist, wanting to check out local attractions. As for me, I like sitting in a coffee shop or sipping a cool drink by the sea or in a square, watching the world go by, luxuriating in the sun – just chilling out and absorbing the atmosphere. If we’re on the beach, or by a pool, I’ll take a novel and be constantly dipping in and out. We walk down to the sea which is delightfully and unexpectedly warm, though the pebbly sands underfoot requires rubber shoes but that’s ok.
The blue skies are full of people whizzing by on kite contraptions and I know our sons would be up for this. Me too, for that matter but OH says “no way” meaning no way for either of us. Maybe he’s remembering a time some years ago when we went para gliding off the Gold Coast in Australia.
Unlike here in Olu Deniz where you fly strapped in together with an expert and take off and land from the ground, in Oz we each went up on our own in an individual parachute. Although takeoff and landing was from the shore, the chute was pulled along by a speed boat causing the chute to rise into the sky. We were instructed that when the man below waved at us, it was the signal to pull a certain lever to lower the chute. OH went up first and I filmed him with a digital video camera (no smart phones then). He came back, exhilarated, and it was my turn to be strapped into my chute. Wow! Up I went and it felt amazing. Floating up there, I was lost in a strange, silent blue world. Looking down at the little boat, the golden sands with the tiny figure of OH looking up, I felt I could stay up there forever. After a while, enjoying myself in my new world, I glanced down and noticed the little guy on the boat waving at me. Friendly, I thought, and gaily waved back. More time floating up there, and the guy was still waving – even a bit frantically. I began to wave back again, and then it suddenly clicked: he was signaling me to come down. I was supposed to pull the lever! I came back down to earth literally and figuratively. We had to pay quite a bit more because I’d been up there so long.
Back to Olu Deniz. We are surrounded by mountains, lush greenery and turquoise sea – plenty of nightlife and places to eat if we tire of hotel cuisine, we have nothing on our minds but to relax and enjoy ourselves. What shall we do tomorrow?
. . . To be continued (probably in about a week’s time)
-
Loved reading this Artymar OMG that made me laugh so much re the paragliding in Oz ;)
-
You are a better person than I. If Mr WB tells me 'no way'' about something, I will do it no matter what!
(Fortunately he enjoys paragliding as much as I do!)
-
I said I'd try to post on Thursdays - hope you've been waitin' and anticipation'
…….
OCTOBER 2009 OLU DENIZ
BLOG 3: Hiccup in the holiday
We’ve been here two days, weather has been clear and sunny, though rain is forecast and there are some clouds low on the horizon. We’ve been walking quite a lot and OH complains of a painful back. He says he is feeling below par. We ask at the hotel where we can find a doctor and are pleased to learn that there is a walk-in clinic in amongst the tourist shops on the way to the beach. “It’s just opposite the pharmacy – you can’t miss it.”
It’s day 3, no heavy schedule, so off we go to find the walk-in clinic. Sure enough, there it is and there’s quite a queue. We decide that he will wait his turn and I will browse around the shops and check back in about 20 minutes.
On the side of the pharmacy, I notice an Estate Agent shop window with posters and models in the window. As an artist and miniaturist (making a dollhouse and model scenery as a hobby) I am always fascinated by architectural models, so of course I go in. There’s a well made model of a whole mountainside of little houses and some larger models of individual villas complete with mini stone walls, grass and blue glass swimming pools – cute! I’m examining these purely from a technical, artistic point of view you understand. The guy there is busy with another couple but I can see him glancing at me. I nod and smile and murmur “just looking at these lovely models”. Truly that’s all I’m doing – filling in a bit of time. He looks as if he’s trying to shake off the other couple to attend to me so I grab a brochure and make my escape back to the clinic.
OH is still waiting, so I read my brochure. It shows some floor plans of villas with computer generated images of the completed buildings. All have pools and a map showing the buildings are in areas not too far from Olu Deniz. – Kemer , Ciftlik and Calis Beach. I show the brochure to OH, who after so many years, knows me and my daydreams very well. When and wherever we travel in attractive touristy places, I’ll always look in the local estate agents windows, pick out a few idyllic residences and picture myself there. He smiles indulgently and says, “Yes, they do look nice”. I want to show him the little model villas in the estate agency opposite, but don’t want the sales guy to pounce on us. There are no prices listed in the brochure and I can’t help wondering. Of course, I’m not seriously interested, it’s just idle curiosity.
So, off I trot back across the road. This time, despite myself, I spend longer there than I intend. The guy is helpful (of course!) and I can’t believe the prices! Completely furnished with white goods included, a whole 3-bed detached villa with its own pool is less than a 1-bed flat in much of London. Can’t help feeling a flutter of excitement. Would we – could we… I find out that the company that builds these villas also manages and lets them out: that is a part of their business. Mmmmm-
Back I go to OH at clinic. He’s finished with the doctor – nothing very wrong. He’s looking impatient. Can I persuade him to come across the road and look at these villas? Wait till he hears the prices. He won’t believe it!
. . . . To be continued (hope to post on Thursdays)
-
Loving this!
-
Cant wait till the next instalment!
-
Thanks, Echogirl1 and Bluwise. It's fun remembering the processes and stages we went through and for that matter, are still going through! Agonies and ecstasies - an understatement.
-
Do we have to wait until Thursday? !
Great blog. :D
-
An excellent read. Keep it up Artymar. :)
-
Thanks, guys. OK, Menthol - I can be persuaded with a little flattery, especially from you, Blogger exceptionale!
Blog 4 coming up - soon.
-
OCTOBER 2009 OLU DENIZ
BLOG 4: toe in the water
Maybe because he wasn’t feeling too well, maybe because he was bored, maybe because of my enthusiasm – whatever the reason, OH actually accompanied me back to the estate agents. As it turned out, they were not really estate agents, they were in fact a building company, called Infinity Express, specializing in building villas and villa complexes, selling, managing and letting them. OH, to my surprise, did not make a quick exit.
Later that day, over a meal by the sea, we spread out the leaflets, our scribbled notes with some prices noted. Skies are a bit cloudy now, and at the moment, this feels more exciting than swimming in the sea. I’m imagining owning our own villa with a sparkling pool in this beautiful area. Our kids and their families could come and stay too, and when we aren’t here, it would be straightforward to let it out. The tingly feeling is growing stronger. The sales guy in the office wants to show us a finished villa and to introduce us to one of the directors of the company. It’s starting to rain lightly, so it would not be too much fun out on the beach or by the pool anyway. What do we have to lose? No harm in looking into it a bit further . . .
-
ArtyMar....you can not leave it there! I tried to go to page three....loving it.
-
OCTOBER 2009 OLU DENIZ
BLOG 5: meeting the big guys
Here we are sitting in Infinity’s head office in Fethiye. The two storey building is impressive, spacious, simply but elegantly furnished and in a fabulous location overlooking the beautiful Fethiye harbour.
We realize we are being given the hard sell in a soft sell manner by S, a charming young woman and one of the family owners of the company, but the facts seem to speak for themselves. The company has built many individual villas and large complexes throughout the area over many years and we have been shown some of them. Prices seem extraordinarily cheap to us, bearing in mind that the villas include marble floors throughout, fully fitted kitchens and all the basic furniture. Other than the sincerity and believability of this charming woman telling us about their various buildings and developments, and what a great team they have (we are introduced to some of them), what really appeals to us is the fact that dealing with this one company, which we are becoming convinced is solid, long-standing and reliable, they could easily manage and let out the villa when we are not there.
There is an arm of the company, the ‘Express’ part – that used to be a separate letting and management company called ‘Express Holiday Rentals’- which Infinity bought in for this purpose. We are introduced to the lead guy of this department, B, who speaks good English and is a jolly sort of chap, someone I feel I could get along with and his assistant, L, an attractive English girl who now lives permanently in Turkey. Some years ago, we used to own an apartment in Spain and a time-share in Portugal, both of which gave headaches in regard to maintenance and letting.
As we listen and drink our tea, I glance at OH. I can’t believe it! He is paying full attention and I can see the idea is growing on him. We make a time tomorrow for a further meeting to be followed by an area sight seeing trip and a visit to the proposed site where Infinity is planning to build a small complex of five villas with individual plots and pools. We had been planning to sight see anyway to visit Fethiye harbour and the old city, so this would kill two birds with the one stone. And as OH is suffering a bit of back pain, being ferried around to local tourist attractions is appealing. When we go, we take away floor plans of the proposed group of villas and another glossy brochure showing computer generated images. OH is quiet and thoughtful as he reads through the brochure. To say I am excited is an understatement.
-
I'm excited with you........ :D
-
OCTOBER 2009 OLU DENIZ
BLOG 6: Day 5 – decisions looming
This is ridiculous. Here we are on a spur of the moment one-week break in a place we’ve only just heard of, and we’re thinking of buying a villa here!! This sounds like me at my maddest. But I’m thrilled at the thought, dreaming of glorious sun-drenched times ahead in our own marble floored villa dream house. What is even more amazing is that OH is in this mad dream with me.
Today we are driven around the area – we see more of Fethiye and its beautiful harbour, the old city with its intriguing tourist shops full of exotic carpets, leather goods, spices, boxes of beautifully packed Turkish Delight, shops full of 'buy me' Turkish goods. I particularly like the intricate patterns on their ceramics. This is shopping paradise for my collector husband and it’s hard to pull him away. For lunch we are taken to the fish market where we choose our fish, have it grilled and sit under the trees to eat it – delicious. We see the abandoned Ghost village, high up in the mountains and eat freshly made pancakes cooked on an open fire by a weather beaten village lady. OH buys me a little rope and bead bracelet from one of the tourist set-ups nearby, which I know my students will love when I wear it to college.
We are also driven to Kemer and to Calis and environs to see some sites where Infinity is building various developments. Such beautiful scenery, with the mountains and the sea, and all unspoilt. Many of the roads are rough and unmade but that just adds to the charm. It’s all so romantic, unexpected and exciting.
Yes, I want to buy a holiday home in this paradise – and by his lack of protest, OH seems to be somewhat taken with the idea too. We’re not too keen on a complex with a communal pool, nor an apartment. We ask to be taken to the site where the 5 villas are to be built. We are driven to some land not far from the sea but we don’t have much of an idea of where we are in relation to other areas we’ve seen. We’re told it’s part way between Ciftlik and Koca Calis, not too far from Calis Beach and within 10-15 minutes walk to the nearest beach in Koca Calis. The area we are shown is nothing but a dug out, bare patch of scrubland really, but we have the plans in hand and walk around talking to Ozen, the guy Infinity have given us as a driver, guide (and salesman). He tells us that if we go ahead with the purchase of one of these five villas, we would have first choice as to which one but there are others also interested (of course). He sings the praises of Infinity as a solid reliable building company. We make a tentative choice as to which plot we’d like.
Back in our hotel, OH and I discuss the whole concept. Are we crazy? Yes! But I know very well, that now is the time, if ever, and if we go back to London, in the cold light of day, OH will be wearing his sensible hat. We’ll laugh about how close we came, but how good old common sense reasserted itself just in time.
Heck, time has slipped away. We’ll be going home in just two more days.
S from Infinity has arranged to pick us up for dinner later tonight. Evidently we’re being wined and dined at one of the most prestigious restaurants in the Calis beach area, it’s at the far end of the beach front, on a kind of peninsula, overlooking a little island (forget the name). Oz says he’s never been as it’s too expensive. I’m looking forward to it even though we are both fully aware that we’re being given ‘the treatment’.
We’re even beginning to feel entitled as we really, just might. . . actually . . .buy!
. . . to be continued - next Thursday or occasionally, earlier
-
You should write a book, cant wait for more, very interested to hear the reaction of the rest of your family when they hear the news!! Bet they were planning their hols!!
-
OCTOBER 2009 OLU DENIZ
BLOG 7: Signing up
There is only one more day remaining of our holiday and if we really decide to go ahead, crunch time is fast approaching. Over (the fantastic) dinner last night with S, we asked some key questions. When would the villa be finished and ready to move into for a holiday, deposit, terms and times of payment, how and when we go about choosing built in fitments, fittings etc – general timings, building guarantees etc. We were so obviously close to signing on the dotted line, that S arranged for us to meet to draw up the contract at their offices the following day.
So here we are again in the plush office overlooking the harbour. Charming S is here and her brother, K, a rather gruff guy who looks after the business and building side of things and appears to be the chief honcho, together with their architect who will draw up the final plans incorporating any changes we wish to make and an English speaking solicitor. We thrash out details of the contract which includes when the staged payments will be made (we’ll be sent regular photos by email to show stages of building progress before sending any money and/or visit). Our contract states that we’ll be given the deeds (called a Tapu) after the final payment of £7000. This will be made only after “snagging”, the final stage of the building, when little problems are fixed. I specially checked this in the contract as an English speaking chap we’d met at the hotel said, on hearing that we might invest in a villa, “just make sure you get your Tapu!”
They plan to start building the foundations fairly soon, as the completion for the villa (ready for occupation) is set for end of June next year: 2010. Wow! Less than eight months and we’ll have our own luxury villa near the sea! We make a minor adjustment to the plans: change a window into sliding doors, and choose what type of marble we want for the floors. Imagine! Marble floors throughout! Also the type of non-slip tiles to be used for the outdoor terraces and the colour of the outside painting of the villa –pale lemon with white trim. I suggest that each of the five villas is painted a different pastel colour to make each look more individual, and also so they could be identified more easily and look better as a group. As an artist, I also offer to choose a suitable range of colours. They make the right noises but nothing definite is decided re this – I don’t think they like the idea and the individual buyers would want to choose their own villa’s colour. There’ll be a built-in outside BBQ and a shower near the pool. I’ll need to come around February next year to work on the kitchen design with the architect, choose furniture, white goods, lighting and bathroom ceramic tiling. L, the young English woman who works with B, the rental guy, evidently looks after this aspect. All included in the price.
I have to pinch myself that this is really happening – that in a few months I’ll be back again for this delightful task and then, a few months after that . . .
We talk again to B, the letting guy, who assures us that this type of villa will be much in demand during the holiday season, and letting should be no problem. They run a website that advertises their apartments and villas – an added free bonus. He explains that his side of the company looks after the rental arrangements including airport transfers, ‘meet and greet’, looking after guests’ needs, pool and garden upkeep. It all sounds very well organized and trouble-free. He gives us a brochure setting out all the details, maintenance prices etc and we exchange contact numbers, emails etc.
Well, we’ve done it! Exciting times ahead . . . can’t wait to tell the children and their families. They’ll be thrilled.
. . .to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursdays
-
Fabulous - choices, choices, choices. I would love it!
-
NOVEMBER 2009 LONDON
BLOG 8: Back in Blighty – family reactions
Back in England we enthusiastically tell our children of our Turkey venture. We are expecting them to say something like: “Wow! When can we come?” but we don’t quite get that reaction. From each - a kind of stunned silence, followed by a string of questions. Are we serious, or having them on? Why did we do it? Why Turkey? If this was a plan, why didn’t we mention it to them before going? Why in such a short time? Did we research the building company properly? Did we research other properties on sale in the area? Did we look around loads of areas, other towns? Did we employ our own lawyer?
Hey, who is the parent here?!
Hmmm – its fair to say that their enthusiasm does not match ours. Our daughter and family live in the US : “Honestly, Mum and Dad, I don’t know how often we’ll be able to go all the way to Turkey!”. Older son in the UK: “can’t see us flying while the kids are so young – it’s hard enough when we have a long car trip”. From our younger son – party loving and unmarried, a different response: “I could go with a load of friends – we’d have a ball!” (hmmmm).
After a rather heated discussion, we tell them that yes, we have given the whole idea great consideration, that we were certainly not seduced by clever salesmen, and yes, we are totally confident that we’ve done the right thing for us, and we don’t actually feel it is our obligation to discuss our intentions with them beforehand. Anyway, we say, if you don’t want to come to this lovely newly built villa by the sea, in this lush paradise, that’s also fine. They backtrack quickly, but we are nevertheless left in no doubt that they think we’ve had a brainstorm.
I think: we’ll soon prove them wrong. Within a few months, we’ll be sending them photos of us sunning ourselves by the side of our pool.
A bit later: help! What have we done?!
OH knows how much I love sunny exotic places and get carried away when on holiday. Has my Aussie enthusiasm gone too far this time? What was it this time that made it all happen? Did he agree of his own accord and conviction, or was he unduly influenced by my passion? Or did I just catch him in a weak moment . .
I did not express these doubts to OH but my expression may have been a giveaway. He smiled serenely and said “when they see it, they’ll sing a different tune!” Let’s hope he’s right.
Now we’re awaiting our first photos of the foundation construction. Hope they come soon. L has promised to send them as soon as construction begins.
………
. . . to be continued . . . posted usually on Thursdays
-
Great read - thanks again.
-
Looking forward to the next episode!
-
Thanks, Bluwise and Dutchie,
It's great to know I have keen readers out there - encourages me to go on with the saga - and boy oh boy, it is some saga!
-
Loving your blog ArtyMar, cant wait till next week, you have some of us hooked, and you have a nice easy of captivating your readers!
-
Arty, I am feeling every step of the journey here! :)
-
December 2009 LONDON
BLOG 9: Waiting for developments, waiting for our first pictures.
I don’t expect much from images of dug out foundations, so I continue to drool over the computer generated images (CGI) that enticed us in the first place. I’m thinking: with Photoshop I could insert a picture of me in that scene and send it to the kids. That would be sure to help them understand a bit more. I’ve always loved those TV programmes, ‘A Place in the Country’, ‘A Place in the Sun’, ‘Location, Location, Location’. Soon we’ll have our own place in the sun. I look out of the window: dark, overcast skies and a light drizzle of rain. It's chilly.
Meantime – soon it will be Christmas, and then January, and I’m scheduled to fly out again in my half term, end of February. I’ll inspect the building in progress, choose furniture, design my kitchen. Yay! Counting the days.
I send email to L: “ . . . expecting to see foundation pix soon . . .can’t wait to see you in Feb to choose furniture etc. . .”
……..
. . .to be continued. . . posted usually on Thursdays
-
(http://s28.postimg.org/4sqh04i2h/pool_in_foregrnd_of_house.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/4sqh04i2h/)
I'm still drooling as I gaze at one of the cgi images, imagining myself in the pool - I wonder how far they've got with those foundations? The contract states that we'll be able to move in at the end of June! (2010) - will it really be ready?
-
Looks amazing - I would be so excited 8)
-
Loving it ArtyMar.... See you in May...
-
June, Gillian! We arrive 4 June. Looking forward to meeting up! Glad you're enjoying the blog :)
-
JANUARY 2010 LONDON
BLOG 10: Still Waiting -
I send another email to L: “ . . .still waiting for pix . . . have booked flight . . . here are flight details . . . will be coming alone as husband unwell at the moment . . . looking forward to seeing progress on the ground (but please send those pictures!) and designing kitchen, choosing furniture . . . see you in just a few weeks . . . Reply now to confirm all ok . . .”
A week later I receive a reply from L: “apologies for not replying earlier . . . very heavy rains have caused some delays . . . our driver will pick you up at Dalaman: when exiting after baggage reclaim, go down the ramp – he’ll be waiting for you with a sign showing your name – you’ll be staying at one of our luxury apartments in Chalis called ‘Palm Court’ and I’ll be picking you up the next morning – looking forward to seeing you again soon . . .”
I exclaim out loud to OH when spotting her email “Ha! I’ve received a reply at last from Infinity!” I quickly scan through it. No attachments, no images.
OH: “Everything ok?”
Me: “Yeah – seems so.”
Even if I am a bit niggled that L took her time in replying, I don’t want to pass those niggles on to him. I still can’t get over the fact that he has agreed to go ahead with our dream Place in the Sun. It may still be a dream but soon it will be turned into reality!
…………………….
. . . to be continued . . . usually posted on Thursday
-
This is driving me mad. Please be a happy ending like ours.
-
We are over on 3rd June would love 2 meet u, after following your adventures so far xx
-
Saga Louts, sorry to be driving you mad :( The idea of the blog is that you share our pain ;) (and our joy :D !?. . .? )
Echogirl1, we arrive on the same date - late on 3 June. We're planning a coven at our villa with Menthol and Gillian - haven't yet fixed the date. You'll have to join us!
-
News of our proposed coven has spread to Menthol's blog. Any other witch planning to be in or near Calis beach for the two weeks from 4 June can join us! We'll stir up quite a brew! 8)
-
If the Exchange rate continues like its doing...it wouldn't take much to get me to forego my return flight ;)
-
If we are only having a brew, count me out or Ill bring the wine!!! xx
-
Make it white, so we can drink it cold!
-
ArtyMar & all you witches in Calis in June.......listen to....it's 5.oclock Somewhere...Alan Jackson & Jimmy Buffett....My kinda song! Be there in 21 sleeps...Yippee....
-
Those sleeps will zip by!
-
Cant wait to meet u all
-
How about choosing the time and date right now? I suggest Monday 8 June. To make it easy to find us, we could all meet up at The Angel Bar/Cafe which is just 2 minutes walk from our villa - and then trot down to the villa to have another drink - poolside- bring swimsuits. What time of day do you suggest - or if that day doesn't suit, I'm open to other suggestions.
-
Day is fine for me, any time to suit x
-
Wow, gillian handbury, a mention of Jimmy Buffett on CBF - and spelt correctly. Saw him do "5 o'clock" in Paris last year.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BPCjC543llU
Maybe a Calis Beach Parrothead club on the horizon?
-
Gillian and Kaptainkrunchie, I've just listened to '5 o'clock somewhere' and LOVED it. My kinda song! Thank you!
-
and now for your Thursday fix:
………………
FEBRUARY 2010 LONDON
BLOG 11: Seeds of concern –
Time is marching on.
OK, I totally appreciate that you can’t build foundations in the pouring rain, and I’ve looked up the weather on the Internet. There has been heavy rain in the Calis and Fethiye areas. Some of the streets look like rivers. But it wouldn’t hurt L to at least send me an email – maybe even a picture? Or two? I decide to ring the office and express my concern. After all, instead of attending to marking loads of art portfolios over my Feb half term, I’ve booked flights to Turkey at a time of year unsuitable for a holiday, and it’s not for the purpose of sight seeing! And it does cost!
I telephone. A guy who doesn’t speak English answers the phone. He may be the ‘all purpose guy’ who made our tea when we signed the contract in the directors’ office and chauffeured us here and there last October. “ I say slowly and clearly: ‘England – I’m calling from England. I want to speak to L”. After several repetitions I get put through to someone. It’s not L.
An English woman finally picks up the phone. It’s C. I recognise her voice. C is the directors’ administrator/secretary who typed out our contract when we were there in October. She explains that L is out of the office attending to other clients. It is a major part of L’s job to help clients buy furniture and fitments for their apartment or villa. L won’t be back in the office that day. I explain to C, that L promised to send me weekly photos of the building development of our villa and so far I had received nothing. C said she knew nothing about it as it wasn’t her job, but expressed understanding and said she would pass on my message to L. C couldn’t help me further as she said she did not know anything about the various villas and buildings currently under construction. She suggested I email L again: ‘L always answers her emails as soon as she is able’. I then ask to speak to S or K, either of the two directors to whom I spoke on several occasions back in October. I explained that it is only a few weeks before my departure. C is their secretary, so she should be able to put me through. No? They are also not in – they are in a meeting elsewhere in Fethiye.
Well! No luck there! I email L again. I try to keep my email polite, but not so polite that I don’t let some of my irritation show through. Will our villa really be ready by the end of June this year? Better get a move on! Please pass on this message to both S and K: no more money until we get those pictures! We will be sticking exactly to the contract which C herself typed. I’ll be there in just a few weeks and am really looking forward to seeing progress- actual progress on the ground.
Going over the conversation in my mind after hanging up: C sounded calm and unconcerned. I tell myself it’s ridiculous to worry at this early stage – our kids unwittingly planted a seed of suspicion in our minds when we told them of our purchase. Infinity would not let me fly out there if there were any real problems.
Would they? . . .
………………………….
. . . to be continued . . . generally posted on Thursday . . .
-
FEBRUARY 2010 mid air, nearing Dalaman
BLOG 12: Flying to Turkey
Well, I’m on the plane – will touch down at Dalaman at 9.30 p.m. (Turkey time) tonight. Feeling tingly and excited, and I must confess, also a little anxious. The anxiety has nothing to do with flying, which I generally enjoy – I love the ‘time out’ feeling, being away – even for a short time - from day-to-day problems in the real world. It’s to do with the fact that L still hasn’t sent me any photos of construction – without what I consider any solid reasons. Well, I remind myself, they wouldn’t let me come all the way, if nothing was there. So I quell the anxiety and give way to exciting thoughts of designing the kitchen, and choosing furniture and fitments with L. Seems this has to be done at this stage if we are to move in by the end of June.
I’ve kept the cgi pictures with me in my hand luggage. I just love looking at them, dreaming about the finished villa – what tropical plants I’ll have in the garden (bougainvillea for sure, that lovely, deep pink – climbing over the wrought iron gates), what pictures I’ll paint to hang on the walls – have to find a framer. . . am visualizing lying in the shade of the umbrellas on our sun terrace. . . I like the comfort of the bean bags I’ve noticed on some of the beaches near where the villa will be built – maybe I’ll buy some for the villa, good for reading novels by the poolside. Wonder if I can match the fabric on the beanbags to that on poolside matresses and umbrellas? . . I’ll be dipping in and out of the glittering waters of the pool . . .it would be nice to build a kosk in the garden (one of those covered platforms with seats and carpets to lounge on) but I’m pretty sure the garden is too small. It will be wonderful. .
We’re landing. I’ve only brought along hand luggage as I’ll be here for just 4 days. It won’t be long now-
………..
. . . to be continued . . . generally posted on Thursday . . .
-
Those CGI images:
(http://s15.postimg.org/aqcg2scuf/pool_in_foregrnd_of_house.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/aqcg2scuf/)
(http://s15.postimg.org/lr7l7t53b/side_view_through_walls_to_pool.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/lr7l7t53b/)
Finally managed to do this upload, while integrating with text:
(http://s18.postimg.org/dmgi22wg5/three_quarter_front_terrace_pool.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/dmgi22wg5/)
Hurry up, Infinity! We can't wait to make use of it! The deadline, according to the contract is end of June - which is fast approaching!
-
I'm all agog!!
-
Glad you're all agog, Milorni. Keep on keepin' on. I'm relating it as it was and reliving all those moments. The saga continues to this day . . .
-
Oh dear............ :(
-
Getting anxious............... :-\
-
Makes a good story er, blog, at least 8)
-
and, hey, I've hit the 3000+ hit mark! Yippee! :D
-
and by the time I get to the end of the saga, I might just about catch up to Menthol! ;)
-
Loving it Artymar, any news about meeting up in June ?
-
Echogirl1, so far we have you, me, Gillian and Menthol - suggested meeting on Monday 8 June, starting off at The Angel Bar/Cafe in Koca Calis, which is just a couple of minutes walk from our villa and reasonably well known. How about 2 p.m.? Difficult to know what time is best for all. We can have a drink at The Angel, wander down to our villa for further drinks, snack/icecream and swim, then go down to The Surf Cafe for more :D drinks and a dip. Do you want to keep it to the Coven or bring along the menfolk?
-
My man isn't coming I am going away with a friend, but anyone is welcome as far as I am concerned.x
-
Great! The coven is meeting up at the Angel Bar/Cafe in Koca Calis: time 2 p.m. Monday June 8. Who's coming?
-
FEBRUARY 2010 mid air, nearing Dalaman
BLOG 12: Flying to Turkey
Well, I’m on the plane – will touch down at Dalaman at 9.30 p.m. (Turkey time) tonight. Feeling tingly and excited, and I must confess, also a little anxious. The anxiety has nothing to do with flying, which I generally enjoy – I love the ‘time out’ feeling, being away – even for a short time - from day-to-day problems in the real world. It’s to do with the fact that L still hasn’t sent me any photos of construction – without what I consider any solid reasons. Well, I remind myself, they wouldn’t let me come all the way, if nothing was there. So I quell the anxiety and give way to exciting thoughts of designing the kitchen, and choosing furniture and fitments with L. Seems this has to be done at this stage if we are to move in by the end of June.
I’ve kept the cgi pictures with me in my hand luggage. I just love looking at them, dreaming about the finished villa – what tropical plants I’ll have in the garden (bougainvillea for sure, that lovely, deep pink – climbing over the wrought iron gates), what pictures I’ll paint to hang on the walls – have to find a framer. . . am visualizing lying in the shade of the umbrellas on our sun terrace. . . I like the comfort of the bean bags I’ve noticed on some of the beaches near where the villa will be built – maybe I’ll buy some for the villa, good for reading novels by the poolside. Wonder if I can match the fabric on the beanbags to that on poolside matresses and umbrellas? . . I’ll be dipping in and out of the glittering waters of the pool . . .it would be nice to build a kosk in the garden (one of those covered platforms with seats and carpets to lounge on) but I’m pretty sure the garden is too small. It will be wonderful. .
We’re landing. I’ve only brought along hand luggage as I’ll be here for just 4 days. It won’t be long now-
………..
. . . to be continued . . . generally posted on Thursday . . .
-
Cant wait to find out how the villa was coming along when you arrived.
-
I'm sure I've read today's Blog before.......... : :) ;D
-
Me too. It was last weeks blog I think?
-
Arty you are conning us by putting on repeats, its a bit like the BBC. ;)
-
Oops! So sorry for the repeat ??? a senior moment in my efforts. (I'll tell myself that it's gratifying that at least you noticed! Here is what i meant to post:
LATE FEBRUARY 2010 Calis Beach
BLOG 13: Back in Turkey
Well, here I am, back in Dalaman airport, wheeling my hand luggage out of the exit. It’s great to travel so light and not have to bother with waiting for and hauling luggage from the hold. Just wish OH had been able to come, but he’s not too well at the moment and anyway, traipsing around shops choosing furniture and fitments is not exactly his thing. It’s a long way to come for just four days, but for me it is so exciting. Coming here to choose things for the villa, to see actual work in progress brings the dream so much closer. I can feel my heart quicken as I go out those exit doors toward the ramp. L told me that I would be met by their driver in a white van with their logo on it. The driver would be near the bottom of the ramp holding up a sign with my name on it.
As I near the bottom of the ramp, I look eagerly around me, a silly grin on my face. I scan the white vans – there aren’t very many as it’s not the holiday season. I look harder: no sign of any InfinityExpress insignia on any white vans. The silly grin is fading. I look around for anyone holding a sign with my name on it. I’m feeling the first pangs of anxiety.
Just as I’m beginning to think the worst - dare I say the word “panic”? a familiar voice calls my name and a breathless L comes running up to me.
“Thought I’d give you a surprise and meet you personally instead of sending the van! You came out a bit earlier than I expected!”
What a relief. I don’t tell her that I was beginning to think they had abandoned me . We load my hand luggage into her car and set off for Palm Court, Infinity’s block of apartments in Calis Beach where I’ll be staying.
As we approach Calis, I talk about the programme ahead and remind her that she has not kept her promise to send me photos, even though I realize photos of dugout foundations are pretty boring. I suggest that we drive past the site now. She says it’s too dark to see anything. I say, well how about tomorrow morning early – say 10 a.m.? After that, later the same day, I say that I’d like a meeting with one of the directors, either K or his charming sister, S at their head office. She says the very earliest she can arrange is for late tomorrow. We have now arrived at Palm Court. It’s a complex of apartments, each with a balcony, looks nice, and there’s a large floodlit pool in the front. And, of course, some palm trees. But . . . tomorrow afternoon! I feel indignant and without showing too much irritation (hopefully), tell her so. Heck, I’m only here for four days – it hasn’t been easy to get this time off and I don’t want to waste time sitting around in the apartment with nothing to do.
Then she says something that sends a chill right through me:
“I’m only the messenger.”
. . . to be continued . . . generally posted on Thursday . . .
-
Oo-er!
(http://s29.postimg.org/dw4y3glb7/tenterhooks.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/dw4y3glb7/)
-
Me too - is it Thursday yet? :o
-
LATE FEBRUARY 2010 Calis Beach
BLOG 14: Palm Court Apartment, Calis Beach
The apartment is ok: 2 bedrooms, sitting room, small balcony leading off the sitting room – marble floors (though I notice some of the marble is cracked and there’s mould near some of the skirting). I plonk my luggage on one of the beds and say goodbye to L. She leaves me a small mobile and says she will ring me in the morning to update me on arrangements. I reiterate that I am extremely keen to go to the site and disappointed that we could not drive by it tonight. L does not respond to this. She’s obviously a non-responder to demands/questions that she doesn’t like e.g. sending me the weekly pix of progress that she promised /only answering some of my bullet pointed questions in my numerous emails.
The flat is cold and damp. I’ve been told that electricity is very expensive in Turkey, but I turn on the aircon to warm up the room. I feel like luxuriating in a lovely hot bubble bath, but the flat only has a shower and the water is luke warm. Nothing else to do but unpack and go to bed. Tomorrow will be a big day.
Despite putting on extra blankets from the various wardrobes, I find it hard to get warm. I don’t want to leave the aircon blowing warm air all night as I find that uncomfortable.
I sleep fitfully and wake up early. It’s freezing! I quickly turn on the warm aircon. The sun is peeping through the curtains in the living room and I swing them wide open. Lovely blue sky and the apartment overlooks the pool which is tiled a dark blue and glinting in the early morning sun. Cheered somewhat, I slide open the glass doors of the balcony, step out – and nearly break a leg. Woops! The balcony floor is wet; it’s been raining overnight and I slide over on the glass-like marble, stopped only by the concrete and wrought iron of the balcony wall.
L has left some bread, butter, jam, and orange juice in the fridge together with a large bottle of water. She warned me not to drink the tap water. I’d like to have breakfast on the balcony, enjoying a bit of Turkish sunshine, but there’s no outside furniture and anyway, it’s so darn slippery. So I put on several layers of clothing, have a luke warm shower (brrrh) and a leisurely breakfast, reading yesterday’s newspaper that I brought from the plane.
On reflection, It was good of L to come out to the airport to meet me last night – way past her normal work hours. She’s a nice girl.
Hopefully, I’ll get a phone call from her soon after nine. Just can’t wait to get going!
. . . to be continued . . . generally posted on Thursday . . .
-
ArtyMar, you are such a tease!
-
;) ;D
-
Can't you make the episodes slightly longer?!?
-
Lol...just one big one to bring us up to May 2015 please 8)
-
Yes, I'd like that too?? I'm not patient enough. :-[
-
My nails are bitten down to the quick. Come on Mar!
-
Sadler, can't have that! Your nails matter to me.
Lotty, thanks for hanging in there!
Pussinboots, that would be a novel - easier for me to post in bite size titbits.
Dutchie, this is for you!
BLOG 15: Discoveries
10.00 a.m. Get a phone call on my UK mobile from OH in London. Everything OK? Oh, yes, I reply. Everything is fine – I’ll be hearing from L any minute. I tell him how nice it was that she came personally to collect me last night and don’t mention anything about our ‘non responsive’ conversation. The last thing I want is to worry him. He doesn’t really like me travelling alone to distant places. When we travel abroad, we normally go together (though on occasion, I have flown back to Australia with one of the kids to visit the family). “Bye! Love you! See you soon!”
Still no call from L, and it’s 10.30 a.m. I fetch the mobile she left with me and ring her. No answer. I take a deep breath and leave a message: “please phone soon. I feel I’m wasting valuable time!”
At 11 a.m. there’s a ring at the door. Surprised, I go to answer it. There’s L, smiling broadly and behind her, of all people, is Oz, the original sales guy that I first met in OluDeniz.
I’m dressed, breakfasted, raring to go. At last, I’m about to see the beginnings of our dream villa! We hop in Oz’s car; I don’t question L as to why she’s brought him along, though I do wonder.
After less than 10 minutes, Oz stops the car and we get out. He points to a field in the distance where a large concrete platform can be seen with what looks like rods sticking out. I peer at it and look questioningly at the two of them. I’d like to get closer to have a better look.
It seems Oz is here to do the talking. A bit strange, as L is English, and needless to say, her spoken English is better than his! I’ll paraphrase the gist of what he said:
“We have something to tell you. This was part of your foundations, but the land seller did not have the full right to sell the land to Infinity, so although the foundations were started, Infinity had to stop and pull out.”
I barely let out a squeak: “What!” before they both climb in:
“But don’t worry, we’ve bought more land in a different place – a better place for you as it’s only 400 metres from the beach at Koca Calis, whereas that land was 800 metres away. That’s what caused the delay. We even had to negotiate to buy land from one of your neighbours. That’s why we couldn’t send you photos.”
I’m speechless. Obvious to me now, why they did not inform us. They were worried that we would pull out, and demand our money back before they had time to find new land. So they just kept stringing us along.
There’s a long moment of silence while I take this in and they both have the grace to at least look concerned as they wait for my response. No doubt, the Infinity directors, K and S, thought long and hard about how they would go about informing us and they decided it was best to let their super salesman, Oz, together with English L, do the job for them. Cowards!
Well. I’m here on my own. I’m going to have to make any decisions about this on my own.
Back we pile into Oz’s car and set off to see the new site. We don’t really talk. It’s all been said, and at this stage, my feelings are best left unspoken.
Let’s see where the new site is. Better be as they say.
. . . to be continued . . . generally posted on Thursday . . .
-
Yikes !! :o
-
Oh my.............
-
Hi Arty Mar.... I'm here in Calis....Wahoooo!... Reading your Blog through one eye as the arm has come of my specs and I'm heading to get it fixed... Great Blog..can't wait to meet up!... Will the Blog end before we meet? . Oops the weathers luuuurveeeerly!!!
-
Gillian, lucky you! Where are you staying - please pm me your mobile. I've nearly finished my oil painting based on your great photo of the fisherman. I aim to bring a high resolution digital image of it with me to take to the picture framer in Fethiye and have a canvas made of it to the same size as the original painting, stretched onto a wooden frame. I'll hang it somewhere in the villa. Who knows, it might even be there when you come! Remind me please as to when you return to UK?
The blog is unlikely to end before we meet up - unless, that is, that I get feedback that people are bored with it or the hits stop hitting - which will mean the same thing.
Menthol, your blog is my inspiration - I've a long way to go to equal your number of hits!
CBFers, if you enjoy reading the drawn out saga, I'm enjoying writing it, but we've gone through a lot getting to where we are now. How much, you have yet to learn. . .
Who will be meeting up on Monday 8 June at the Angel Bar/Cafe 2 p.m. before walking down to our villa?
Guess what? We'll have a proper road by then!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!!Yippee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 8) ;D :D :)
-
I live in Ovacik, Arty, who needs roads?! ;D
8th June sounds good to me.
And very, very much enjoying the blog. You should write thrillers! :o
-
Arty Mar..... Maybeeeee! A lot of people are like me and forget to hit the like button, cos I'm so excited and can not wait for next Thursdays blog.... And nooooo!!!! I don't want it to end....
Will PM you if I can find out how!!!! Ooooeeer!! Senior moment...(often)..
Anyway it can't be boring if your blog has been read 4177 times.........Well done...
-
Aw, gee (coming over all coy), thanks, Gillian! I'm loving writing it - it's all true - not a word made up. I wonder if anyone that I refer to in the blog is reading it. . . (OH isn't - not sure he knows for sure what a 'blog' is :)).
Can't wait to meet you and the other witches!
-
I'm sure your OH knows all about blogs, my OH sometimes gets the blog on...oops!.different kind o' blog..... Have you decided if the men folk are allowed to join us???
-
Let's take a vote on it: is this a get together for witches only, or do we let our menfolk come too? Still not sure which witches are definitely coming - maybe some need transport provided by their OHs…? So far it's Menthol, Echogirl1 and Gillian. Angela and Wordbird, how about you? 2 p.m.Monday 8 June at the Angel Bar/Cafe Koca Calis, then onto Villa Loumar. Personally, I'd prefer just the witches - sorry, guys, That said I realise it's holiday time and I don't want to spoil any precious day for anyone. What's the concensus?
-
ArtyMar, you might need the wizards to keep the witches in check! LOL ;D ;D
-
Why don't any spare boys just arrange their own Wizards day off the leash out 8) :angel:
-
Pussinboots......What spare Guys..??. Point me in the right direction... Only kidding OH......oops! Now I'm in trouble...Arty Mar.... It's our Anniversary week and 41 years is a lot of sleeps.... Maybeeeee, just a suggestion if the Men folk want to meet at Angel bar for a bevi, drop us witches off, then do their own thing....then maybeeee meet up later....It's your cooking pot....you choose....
-
Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble! This cauldron is about to boil over! ;D : :) :angel:
-
Arty - I'm easy either way and yes that is an intentional double entendre. But if pushed, I'd say witches only.
-
Witches only then?! The wizards can also meet separately and entertain themselves - go to the beach at the Surf Cafe. We might bump into you there!
-
Sexist Coven eh.! Spellbinding stuff. ;)
-
I'd like to meet up with the guys but I won't be over for a spell.
-
SteveJ, when you come over, don't stir things up!
-
LATE FEBRUARY 2010 Palm Court Apartment, Calis Beach
BLOG 15: Discoveries
10.00 a.m. Get a phone call on my UK mobile from OH in London. Everything OK? Oh, yes, I reply. Everything is fine – I’ll be hearing from L any minute. I tell him how nice it was that she came personally to collect me last night and don’t mention anything about our ‘non responsive’ conversation. The last thing I want is to worry him. He doesn’t really like me travelling alone to distant places. When we travel abroad, we normally go together (though on occasion, I have flown back to Australia with one of the kids to visit the family). “Bye! Love you! See you soon!”
Still no call from L, and it’s 10.30 a.m. I fetch the mobile she left with me and ring her. No answer. I take a deep breath and leave a message: “please phone soon. I feel I’m wasting valuable time!”
At 11 a.m. there’s a ring at the door. Surprised, I go to answer it. There’s L, smiling broadly and behind her, of all people, is Oz, the original sales guy that I first met in OluDeniz.
I’m dressed, breakfasted, raring to go. At last, I’m about to see the beginnings of our dream villa! We hop in Oz’s car; I don’t question L as to why she’s brought him along, though I do wonder.
After less than 10 minutes, Oz stops the car and we get out. He points to a field in the distance where a large concrete platform can be seen with what looks like rods sticking out. I peer at it and look questioningly at the two of them. I’d like to get closer to have a better look.
It seems Oz is here to do the talking. A bit strange, as L is English, and needless to say, her spoken English is better than his! I’ll paraphrase the gist of what he said:
“We have something to tell you. This was part of your foundations, but the land seller did not have the full right to sell the land to Infinity, so although the foundations were started, Infinity had to stop and pull out.”
I barely let out a squeak: “What!” before they both jump in:
“But don’t worry, we’ve bought more land in a different place – a better place for you as it’s only 400 metres from the beach at Koca Calis, whereas that land was 800 metres away. That’s what caused the delay. We even had to negotiate to buy land from one of your neighbours. That’s why we couldn’t send you photos.”
I’m speechless. Obvious to me now, why they did not inform us. They were worried that we would pull out, and demand our money back before they had time to find new land. So they just kept stringing us along.
There’s a long moment of silence while I take this in and they both have the grace to at least look concerned as they wait for my response. No doubt, the Infinity directors, K and S, thought long and hard about how they would go about informing us and they decided it was best to let their super salesman, Oz, together with English L, do the job for them. Cowards!
Well. I’m here on my own. I’m going to have to make any decisions about this on my own.
Back we pile into Oz’s car and set off to see the new site. We don’t really talk. It’s all been said, and at this stage, my feelings are best left unspoken.
Let’s see where the new site is. Better be as they say.
…………..
. . . to be continued . . . generally posted on Thursday . . .
………..
-
Now Artymar, once is a mistake, twice is torture. You have repeated last weeks missive AGAIN. Fingers are now starting to be nibbled, nails are long gone!!! :)
-
OMG, I've done it again :-[ In my eagerness to send the Thursday post, and check that I was sending the correct post, I didn't scroll down sufficiently and forgot that I'd posted two blogs last week - to try to satisfy my avid readers ;). Senior moment x 2! Unforgivable! You see, I've just seen pictures of our new road, kindly sent by Quackers and was simply too excited to think straight. How many more excuses can I think up…mmm that will do for the moment.
OK, here is the CORRECT blog, and now, I'm really concentrating:
…………………..
LATE FEBRUARY 2010 Palm Court Apartment, Calis Beach
BLOG 16: Change of plans
Oz, the Infinity ‘supersalesman’ together with L, are walking me around the new site where five villas will be built, each on its own individual walled plot, each with its own pool.
As we were the first to buy and choose our original plot on the previous site, we obviously have first choice as to which plot we want this time around. At first sight, this area certainly does appear to be better than the original site: for a start, there is a lovely forest fronting the road directly opposite where two villas will be built. The choice is clear to me: I want a villa that overlooks the forest i.e. opposite the forest, a corner plot so the road frontage is large. There are two that match this, adjacent to each other – so my natural choice is the one that is slightly closer to the sea, which I understand is within 10 minutes walk away.
The area is bounded on two sides by paved roads but the road adjacent to the forest is as yet unpaved, no pavements and quite muddy and bumpy. Oz waves this aside – “there’s hardly any traffic anyway”. He is (naturally) very enthusiastic about the plot, telling me that they had to persuade one of the property owners to sell off part of their garden to gain enough land to build all the villas. What is left unsaid is that they obviously did all this with the deadline of my visit in mind, as they did not wish to lose us – but did not inform us of the situation beforehand just in case we pulled out. I walk around the plot with L and Oz and try to think around all aspects of the change, but whichever way I look at it, the positives certainly outweigh the negatives of the delay in building. This plot is slightly bigger, with a better outlook (the forest) and closer to the sea. It’s within a few minutes walk of an outdoor bar/café called ‘The Escape Bar’ and a further few minutes from some small shops and a supermarket. Great! All that remains is now for me to clearly state which plot is for us, and then for them finally to make a start! How soon? Let’s get back to the office, change the contract and get going!
I have to decide how much of this information to impart to OH, who is at home. He thinks that all I am doing is choosing furniture with L. I don’t want him to worry and certainly don’t want him to have second thoughts about this new adventure in our lives. To tell or not to tell at this stage: that is the question. Will he have confidence in me to negotiate the new contract? Yes, I think so, but he would really worry about it all and possibly begin to regret our decision to buy.
I decide to smooth over the cracks until I have spoken to the directors, K and S. One thing is for sure, I want to make some amendments to the contract re the finishing date and penalties for late finishing if that should happen! Seems I’ll have to wait until tomorrow morning to see them. I want to be able to tell OH good news.
Back in the Infinity flat, Palm Court (I’d hardly call it “luxury”; it’s chilly and damp), I jot down some points for the amendments to contract: same finishing date as original contract, monthly penalties for late finishing, payment for any further trips from UK to view work in progress, pictures to be sent as promised, better communication on their part. . . Wonder if they’ll make it tough for me…
…….
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
I've only just started reading this topic and to be honest, I really like it and look forward to future installments. However, this builder has installed you into one of their "Luxury" apartments which is chilly and damp, mislead you terribly (lied to you) and from what I've read so far, you are thinking of continuing with them?
I salute your confidence, as for me, no way!
Maybe a twist at the end?
-
Rimms, you are right, of course. I absolutely agree. Inch by inch, one gets enticed into the dream and as we all know, hindsight is a wonderful thing.
As for the twist at the end - guess you'll just have to wait and see, unless you want to join the witches coven meeting in Koca Calis, Angel Bar, at 2 p.m. on 8 June? Then, all will be revealed. Until then, the blog goes on - and on -
-
Absolutely love this really well written and always leaves you hanging
-
Great blog Arty
Mrs Badger :)
-
LATE FEBRUARY 2010 InfinityExpress offices, Fethiye
BLOG 17: The big meeting
Well, I wanted to see them face to face: the directors, K and S. Will they apologise for not informing us of these changes before I made the trip out here?
I am again sitting upstairs in the impressive conference room with its large glass windows overlooking the panorama of beautiful Fethiye harbour. What a view!
It’s a replay. I’m warmly greeted. M is serving me tea. S is smiling and welcoming me back to Fethiye. I expected to see K also, but he’s not here. There’s no sign of either L, or the secretary, C.
The revised plans are on the table, plans of the new plots in the new location. We are here to draw up a new contract, S explains. That’s fine, I say, I’ve chosen my plot and I point it out on the plans. I’m about to mention that there will be some additional amendments that I’d like to make in this new contract, but I stop short – noticing a strange expression on S’s face. And she’s no longer smiling. Before I can even get another word out, she stands up, walks to the door, excuses herself and closes the door! I’m puzzled. I did not get a chance to discuss amendments – can’t be that. Is she ill? What now? I’m left to wait and ponder, while M hovers in the background, dying to pour me more tea.
A couple of minutes tick by, very s-l-o-w-l-y. “More tea?” “NO! Where has S gone?”.He doesn’t speak much English but I guess he gets my meaning as he shrugs and looks toward the door.
Finally the door opens and in comes S, this time flanked by K. They dismiss M and he bows out, tea tray in hand. No more tea for me. Seems to me he’s even a bit afraid of them.
They march in and seat themselves opposite me at the table. They both look serious. Now I’m really worried.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Maybe they have run out of tea!
Great blog...... You may have to do a Tuesday & Thursday episode... Can't wait....
-
You can't leave it there......... :o ???
-
(http://s29.postimg.org/des9nb0hv/nail_biting_bad_breath.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/des9nb0hv/)
-
Artimar
Do you realise that the demographic of most of your readers is that of an ageing, ailing, wasting away
Type and that you are not letting us drift of happily into our dotage.
Next Thursday !
Have pity
-
To all my ageing, ailing, wasting away readers (don't blame me for that description of you ;) - read back and you'll see the culprit): Do you want two instalments per week? Depending on the response - I'll put pen to paper - or fingers to keyboard . . .
-
Yes please
-
Yes if you can only manage 2
-
Oh yes please!
-
DITTO !!
-
I would rather read Arty Mar twice a week than Coro ....or West Enders.... Oops!!!!sorry for all you Soap lovers....! Thanks Arty!!!! Loving it!!
-
Yes, yes, yes...............
-
Yes
-
No
We want more, at least three times a week.
-
I'm a coward, I just like everyones post who I agree with! I want it all NOW,
-
At least twice a week
Please
-
yes please
-
You have to do 2 weekly updates at least, Arty now. Your followers have made it very clear what they expect of you.
-
You have to do 2 weekly updates at least, Arty now. Your followers have made it very clear what they expect of you.
Love the "at least", Menthol! Waddya think I am - a bleedin' blogger or sompin?
-
LATE FEBRUARY 2010 InfinityExpress offices, Fethiye
BLOG 18: Negotiations and machinations
Well! K explains that since I chose our original plot position, in the intervening period between the old plot and the new, other plot buyers have appeared on the scene, Russians – three groups of families and friends. They want to buy three plots, and guess what? One of the plots they want to buy just happens to be the one I’ve chosen. “Hang on a minute”, I say, a bit louder than I had intended: “We were the first, we have already paid a large deposit, and naturally, we expect to have first choice of plots in the new location. This has already been confirmed by Oz, and of course, L when I saw the new plots for the first time yesterday.”
K agrees that this is so. S nods solemnly. I realize that K is the lead player here, and his sister, though a director of the company, is subsidiary to him. He carefully explains that the Russians want to be adjacent to each other – that’s why they want our plot. They are in a powerful position to push their case as I can see that Infinity do not want to lose three potential purchasers. On the other hand, it’s obvious that no money has as yet exchanged hands and a bird in the hand is worth three in the bush. I must play my hand very carefully.
“Oh dear!” I say, “This is terrible! Having a corner position, closest to the beach, is very important to us. We chose to buy on that basis both on the original location and this new location. . .” Let them be worried. Let them suppose that we might be tempted to pull out. They’ve treated us badly. I let that statement hang in the air.
S asks sweetly: “would I like more tea?” She calls M in again. He hovers discretely in the background with his tea tray. I shake my head, and M goes out again. Silence. I stare out of the window. That view would make a nice painting.
Finally, K breaks the silence: “We want you to be happy. We can make a new contract with a cheaper price.” Sounds promising (though I don’t say this), but I need to see the plots again. M is called back in again, this time to be our driver – what a job this guy has. He spends his time going in and out of the conference room! Is he on a string, waiting just outside the door? S picks up the phone, makes a quick call. It seems that S and K are too busy to go with us, so we will be accompanied again by L and Oz, the English speaking assistant and the supersalesman. He’s going to have to do a good job now, having convinced me of the advantage of being first buyer and choosing the best plot, he’s now got to do an about-face!
Off we go. We walk silently around the site. I realize that I could have the plot adjacent to the one desired by the Russians. It would still be right opposite the forest, and still be a corner plot but on the corner of the street parallel. Not really much further from the beach – in fact, perfectly ok. I don’t say anything, just continue to look grim.
L pulls me to one side, away from Oz. “The ball’s in your court, you know” she say quietly. “Ask what you want from them. They’re desperate.”
I thank her and say that I don’t want to return to the office, just to go back to the apartment to discuss the situation with my husband. OH, as yet, knows nothing of all these machinations. It would be nice to tell him that I’ve knocked a lot off the price when I break the news of what’s been going on. L phones K and we agree to meet again tomorrow morning.
Oz tells me that in his opinion, all the plots are good. The whole location is fantastic. Why not choose this plot (indicating the one I have, in fact, decided upon)? I continue to look both doubtful and grim. I’m sure he’ll be reporting back my reaction to S and K.
Back at the apartment in Palm Court, I jot down notes. I wonder how much they’ll be willing to reduce the price? L’s words are ringing in my ears. I feel nervous, but I’ve got to play it cool.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
…………
-
Oh my goodness - what a blooming' to-do!
-
Arty Mar....walked for miles....... And miles.....and miles..... From Fethiye tooooooo....find the coven!! Past surf cafe.....no luck...... Collapsed and walked back...stopped at a couple of watering holes..of course! ..it's not easy when your getting on a bit....
-
Should have turned rıght at the Surf Cafe and followed the road to the top thats where Angel Cafe ıs.
-
Cheers quackers.... Once I've got my second wind I will give it another go!!! Hope there are some watering holes on the way..... Also hope there's a nice witches brew ready when I arrive.....
-
Gillian! Can't believe you walked all the way to the Surf Cafe from Fethiye!!!!!!! No wonder you're tired, and it's not to do with the years. From what Google tells me, it's been raining quite a bit in Calis - hope the weather clears up by the time we arrive next Thursday. We're busy packing now. The older we get, the more we seem to need.
Are there lots of mozzies buzzing around? I've just bought some citronella candles and a portable mozzie busting gadget, not to mention little plug in things to put in the bedrooms.
Just a few more days until we go, and a few days after that the witches coven will meet up. See you soon! You, too, Menthol! and Echogirl1.
Anyone else?
-
A few showers some evenıngs Arty but stıll sunny and hot most of the tıme.Very pleasant weather.
-
See you soon, Arty!
(http://s24.postimg.org/ns4c1u8q9/witches.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/ns4c1u8q9/)
-
All being well see you next week.
-
Yay! See you soon, fellow witches!
-
4 weeks and no bites...and it's hot.... Just spending 2 nights at Majesty Tuana hotel in Yaniklar all inclusive for our 41st Wedding Anniversary and I can highly recommend it to anyone...lurverly .. See you soon....
-
You mean the mozzies have all gone to sleep and they're not having their usual feeding frenzy?
We celebrate our Golden in August.
See you at the Witches Coven on Monday 8 June 2 p.m.
-
and it's now 4.15 Turkish time, and I'm sitting in the Angel Bar to post this. Turkish night tonight - yum yum! and now . . . the next blog. . .
-
LATE FEBRUARY 2010 InfinityExpress offices, Fethiye
BLOG 19: New contract: the outcome
M, the all-purpose driver and tea-maker collects me from the apartment at 9 o’clock. I’ve only come for four days, this is day three, leaving only the rest of today and tomorrow for L and I to choose furniture and fitments, which is what I came here to do!
Once again, I’m shown up to the conference room upstairs. K and S are waiting for me. S gives me the courtesy of her warm smile. K never smiles anyway. I try to keep my expression neutral – after all, I’m here to renegotiate our contract.
Again, the warm words from S – they want us to be happy. We’ll have a lovely, luxurious villa, be assured.
“Yes, “ I say, “but it’s not the one we originally wanted and chose – my husband is extremely upset at what’s happened. . “ (he might be, but as yet he doesn’t have a clue).
S then makes the offer: £5k off the original price. My expression says it all – no way. Since we left, I say, I’ve been looking at prices on the Internet, and my husband and I think we were overcharged anyway (what a liar I am, I think ruefully – it’s so hard to judge prices of property without actually viewing – we were both amazed at the price including all furniture in the first place. Of course, we are used to London prices). I make an outrageous demand re the price – they rock back in their nice upholstered chairs in horror. Underneath it all, I sense that they’re relieved we have not pulled out altogether and demanded our money back, which, according to the contract, we would be entitled to do – with no penalty. Finally, we compromise to both our satisfaction. Some extras re the building are thrown in for good measure.
What about the completion date of end of June? Will it really be ready, as we naturally want to come on holiday then. This is becoming more important to us, as OH has been very unwell, and could do with a good, relaxing holiday. We have to come when the villa is complete for purposes of “snagging” i.e. fixing all the little bits and pieces only found after staying. After that stage, according to the contract, we make the final payment. I explain this to them and they totally understand. No doubt, whatsoever, they tell us, all will be ready. Now that they can inform their Russian buyers that we have agreed to change our plot, there’s no obstacle. All systems go!
“OK”, I say, “in that case, you won’t object to a few extra ‘penalty clauses’ that I’d like to add to the contract just in case there’s further delay”. (Clearly I’ve missed my calling, should have been a lawyer, not an art teacher – I think smugly.) We agree to add monthly amounts that will come off the final price for any delays, plus they will pay for our holiday in another place of equal quality in the event of the villa not being ready for habitation at the end of June this year. In the event of the villa still not being ready after our planned holiday, I will need to make an extra trip to check things before paying the final amount after the snagging. They will pay for this trip for me and my husband. They are clearly confident that the building will be finished on time so they agree to these additional clauses being added to the contract. Phew! At last, I’ll be able to come clean with OH, with only good news.
C is called into the office to retype the contract. S is smiling and K permits himself a tiny upturn of the lips. They are delighted that they won’t lose their Russian clients. That means there is only one villa left to sell, and it appears that there is a German buyer on the horizon for that one. No worries there. I'm sure that supersalesman, Oz, will clinch the deal.
Now, my man for all seasons, M, is called in. Celebrations! Tea all round!
………………
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Oh dear, why won't I allow myself to breathe a sigh of relief...... yet ???
You write so well ArtyMar - I'm intrigued.
-
Just read all of this in one go - whilst the boss is away Barbara plays! Really good read and am looking forward to the next instalment :)
-
Thursday's the day for updates. In the meantime, here I am in Calis Beach Kerim Restaurant watching (well, actually, my back is to the screen) the Barcelona Champions League final with son and OH. I'm having grilled chicken and pineapple with the usual accompaniment of chips, rice and salad.
Keep on reading' and I'll keep on bloggin' . . . there's much more to come and- still coming-
Beautiful weather here in Calis, not too hot - lovely sea breeze. A good place to buy a villa 8)
Witches, see ya soon! ;D
-
Lovely to have met Arty and Gillian today. Also good to meet Roger, Gillian's husband and Arty's son and husband too.
We did think Echogirl was going to turn up too .....
Beautiful villa, Arty and thank you so very much for the beautiful artwork. <3
-
Great to meet you too, Menthol, at last! And to meet Gillian and Roger - such fun, putting real people to online ones! Echogirl, what happened to you? We were looking forward to you joining the coven!
-
Lovely to meet you and your family ArtyMar, and the artwork is already hanging on my wall....it's beautiful....thank you so much.... Also lovely to meet you Menthol, and thank you for taking us home... I had a lovely afternoon and I'm sure it won't be long before we arrange another coven.
-
Oops! CBF members...forgot to mention..... ArtyMar gave nothing away about her blog...she's making us all wait till Thursday!. Not even a clue!....Can't wait.....
-
LATE FEBRUARY 2010 Fethiye
BLOG 20: shopping fast and furious
Now, at last, what I’ve come for: shopping! L turns up at the appointed time (what do you know!): 9 a.m. Firstly, we’re off to an architect’s design studio where I’ll choose kitchen layout, tiles, surface finishes etc. A guy sits at his desk with pc on the table in front of him. Yes, sink here, cooker here, fridge/freezer there, cupboards over here. What colours? Green would be nice, a bit different. What about matching green tiles? No, better have beige ones, they’ll go better with the marble floor. Hey presto, with a few clicks of the mouse, the kitchen appears on screen. This is fun! And it’s real, (or will be) - not just a pretty image. At last, the villa is taking shape. Never has a kitchen been designed so fast!
Next stop: a place that sells white goods. We whizz around the shop. Huge fridge, gas cooker that will be supplied with gas from a large cylinder installed in the cupboard adjacent to the cooker, washing machine, dishwasher, microwave. Written down, ticked off, done!
Next stop: furniture. We’re shopping at a rate of knots. My head is spinning, but this is L’s job and she’s good at it. Choosing furniture is a bit trickier, firstly because there are more items, secondly there’s a much greater choice, and thirdly I must decide whether I want to pay more for something I really like. The ‘basic’ range of furniture is included in the villa price but there’s a ‘medium’ price range and a ‘deluxe’ range. Where possible, I stick to the ‘basic’ range but it’s hard to remember that I won’t be living here full-time. As I’m rushed from one floor to the next, I draw breath and think, actually – I’d like more time. In fact, a lot more time. If all this is coming from the overall villa price, I’d like to explore other shops at my leisure – perhaps some that have a real Turkish flavor. Ideally, I’d like to look for, say, wrought iron furniture, perhaps upholstered with oriental/Turkish fabrics – I’d like to give the villa more of a unique, oriental Turkish style. Not possible, no time – those aren’t the shops we deal with, says L.
Everything must be chosen in these last few hours. Can’t help but think: “if your bosses hadn’t wasted time earlier we wouldn’t have such a rush now”, but I’m really keen that there are no more obstacles to the villa being ready for occupation by the end of June. What about lighting? ‘No’ says L, ‘no time – anyway, you’ll be pleased with the lighting that comes with the villa.’ Guess, I’ll see – if unhappy, there’ll be time to change lights once the villa is actually built. Just passed an interesting lighting shop with intricate coloured lanterns in the window. ‘Let’s stop there for a minute – look at those lanterns!’ ‘No time’, says L ‘– we haven’t chosen bathroom tiles and bathroom fitments yet.’ I take another deep breath.
Next stop: large store with bathroom tiles, baths, toilets, basins, vanity units, showers, shower screens and a million and one other bathroom related items. My single top-of-the-range item that I just can’t resist is one of those fixed unit extra large shower heads that you stand under and it gives a great extra wide shower experience. I’ve always admired them – we’ll have one in the ensuite for the main bedroom. Yes!
It’s weird, shopping for a whole house in one day. At first it was exciting and exhilarating. Now, it’s exhausting. There’s no time for deliberation. What tiles for the bathrooms and cloak room? Should each have a different style/colour/type? No time! Easier to have everything the same. Is that a good idea – give the villa a unified bathroom style? Don’t know, no time to consider! Must move on! What’s next? Outdoor furniture! Another shop, let’s go!
Next stop: Electronic items? TV, DVD player, hairdryer. After that, crockery/cutlery/ pots and pans, toaster, bins and more.
Unbelievably, we have completed our shopping by the end of the day. Don’t ask me what we’ve bought. I wrote the items down on my floor plans during the process and will have to review them in the quiet of the flat later- and the cost of the extras that I succumbed to. Phew! But the mad rush means that I won’t have to return before we come on holiday at the end of June – to stay in our very own dream villa. Let’s hope I don’t regret my choices. We’ll have to live with them for a long time to come. We stopped for a quick snack earlier. Now we sit down for a Turkish meal, but my mind is on the beautiful villa that I’ve just finished furnishing. Wow!
Next stop: Palm Court Apartment. Never mind reviewing my purchases. As my head hits the pillow, I’m asleep. I dream of toilets and shower heads.
Tomorrow I head back home to tell OH of my exploits. I’m looking forward to telling him that I bought all the furniture and fitments for the villa in a day. Oh, and by the way, there’s a change of location and a few other things. . .
………………
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Well done ArtyMar....Roger & I are were with you in every shop...were also exhausted!!! I'm sure your OH will be glad he didn't have to race around and I'm sure your choices are perfect. I'm sad to say that next Thursdays blog will be read by us in the UK....but.....we will be back!!!!
-
Goodness! Shopping at the speed of light. That was quite an achievement!
-
Alas, next Thursday we'll also be back in the UK, Gillian. The weather is glorious right now - not only bright sunny skies, not so hot that we need air con, and a lovely sea breeze. 8) Perfect! I've just completed a large seahorse, made from OH's collection of pebbles, put on with plaster onto one of the pillars. I'm now planning a turtle pillar and a yacht scene with sea and mountains on the exterior wall - to be created with various shades and sizes of pebbles. May have to go to the Surf Cafe beach to collect some more. . .
Just a few more days here before we head back :(
-
Just arrived back in the UK from Calis and needed to get on here and explain why I didn't get to our meet up. First picture the scene, I am wearing a new strappy summer dress with my new cork heeled sandals and my new floppy sun hat (trying to make a good impression). In my bag is a bottle of wine for Arty Mar and chocs for whoever else is there. Just before leaving the apartment I see the washing machine has stopped, so I decide to wait a minute and put it out. When all was quiet, I opened the door and water poured into the kitchen!!. I couldn't read the machine instructions (all in Turkish) and had left it on the cycle where the water stays in the machine till you press the drain cycle!!. Standing in the water by now lapping over my new sandals I try in vain to shut the door , in doing so I slipped and dropped the bottle of wine and the chocs in the water. My foot slipped and I sat looking like a drowned wallflower of the kitchen, first crying then laughing till rescued by my friend who was out by the pool. Needless to say the next hour was spent with mop and bucket and every towel in the place clearing up!! So I send sincere apologies and assure you I was nearly on my way. ps the sandals are ruined!!
-
That's a good one, oversleep did we.!! ;)
-
Oh, Echogirl1, I'm so sorry: 1) that we couldn't meet up and 2) that you had such a horrendous time trying! (Also sorry to have missed the wine and chocs, but they may not have tasted too good mixed up with washing machine water and suds, so on second thoughts, I'll pass on that one. Never mind, next time . . .
-
Ha! I had exactly that issue with a washing machine myself on the Sunday night! Minus the frock, sandals, chocolate and wine though.
Well it was a shame you didn't make it - you missed the male stripper, Arty doing her Shirley Bassey impression and me and Gillian being Baby and Scary Spice. Not to mention the 5 course slap-up meal we were treated to by the very handsome man that stopped his yacht and came ashore when he saw our loveliness whilst sunbathing on Koca Calis beach.
-
Oh, yes - my Shirley Bassey impression was really something to behold. Now you've let the cat out of the bag re that handsome man who stopped his yacht when he spotted us. Now I'll have to explain to OH :(
-
Sorry, Arty!
I'm trying to ring you by the way :)
-
Rather sorry I missed out now! :D
Things have been somewhat hectic with the rest of the family back in Blighty and having to juggle the animals, garden and everything else on my own....they're back tomorrow after three weeks away and I have to say I'm quite looking forward to seeing them.
Count me in next time!
-
The next one is in Coven try girls, just read it in the Witch Magazine.
-
V clever, Kevin3 (even if I did have to read it twice).
Menthol gave me a great day today by taking OH and son off to Calis market while I had the time to myself lazing on Calis beach, reading and dipping in and out of the sea. (I'm not a market lover.)
Right now, OH, son and I are all sitting down at Zantara beach club restaurant with the waves lapping just a few yards away. Lovely food, lovely setting, lovely day and lovely evening. Tomorrow: para gliding in Olu Deniz. I'd like this holiday to go on forever. . .
-
Sadly holidays do not go on forever. We're now back in good ole Blighty. Weather is fine and sunny here and I've been told that the weather in Calis has gone from being glorious to being mighty hot, so we left at the right time, I s'pose. Now I'm looking for flights in late September, early October; don't think I can wait a whole year before my next Calis Beach fix. OH never feels the same way though, much as he loves the holiday while it happens. His reaction is always: 'but it's only 3 months since our last visit'. I'm wondering how I can change this. . .
In the meantime, back to the blog- it's an ongoing saga. . .
LATE FEBRUARY 2010 London
BLOG 21: Home again
We’re in our kitchen at home. I’ve dumped my case in the hall (only one small piece of hand luggage) and OH is making me a cuppa. I begin my tale and check his expression to make sure he’s taking it all in. Finally, incredulously, he says “you mean, it hasn’t even been started yet?” I heave a sigh – “That’s right, but now we’ve settled all these other things, they’ll be starting soon – maybe today!”
Only after I’ve gone through everything a second time does he say, “why didn’t you tell me all this when I phoned?” and I say the truth: in view of his health and tendency to worry, I thought it best to see how things played out first – and hey, haven’t things turned out for the better?
“But,” he says, “will they really be able to finish it on time?” This gives me the opportunity to remind him of the penalty clauses I put into the contract. “So, if by any chance, it isn’t finished by the end of June, they’ll put us up in a similar villa free of charge – and if we have to make another journey to ok things before final snagging and payment, they’ll pay for our trip. It’s all in the new contract.” I don’t feel like poring over the revised contract right now. Actually, I feel like celebrating. We’ll have a beautiful villa, closer to the sea – and a wonderful holiday in just a few months time! Forget the cuppa – isn’t there something a bit stronger? Oh, well – too early in the morning, so how can we celebrate? I want him to join with me in seeing the positives but despite my upbeat discourse, he’s still looking grim.
“What’s the matter” I ask, “don’t you trust them?” He says that remains to be seen, after we see progress via photos. What is it then? Something’s up; I know my OH too well.
“Let’s sit down. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking while you’ve been away—“ Oh, dear, doesn’t sound good. Not that OH is incapable of thinking a lot, of course (he may eventually read this!) “And there’s something I didn’t tell you. . .”
Seems like we’re both playing the same game, not wanting to worry each other, but I’m sure as hell worried now. We sit down and he reaches for my hand (OMG what’s coming?)
…..
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Oh no - I can't possibly wait a week!!!! :o
-
Come on...this is cruel!
-
(http://s15.postimg.org/w63z78xdj/omfg.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/w63z78xdj/)
-
LATE FEBRUARY 2010 London
BLOG 22: More big decisions
What’s coming is that he has been unwell while I’ve been away. That is to say, more unwell than usual. Not just the pain in his back when walking. We know what that is: spinal stenosis, caused by some bones in the spine becoming a bit ‘overgrown’ (happens to some people when they get older) and displaced - causing narrowing space for nerves to pass through – exacerbated by movement, especially walking. No, this is a general feeling of weakness, and sickness. He’s been to the GP and has a pending appointment with a kidney specialist (nephrologist) at the local hospital. He is clearly not well. But the kidneys may not be the real problem, nor the spinal stenosis.
Lurking underneath all this is the possibility of sepsis (poisoning of the body) caused by a breakdown of previous major surgery. We’ve already been down that path, and it’s a rocky one – nearly as rocky as some of the roads near our proposed building site in Calis. Over a year ago we consulted the top specialist, a professor of surgery, the man who did the previous surgery which was some 15 years ago. That was a very major operation, and the results have been fairly ok – up until about a year ago when problems began to arise. We both recall that conversation a year ago. Bold questions, generally asked by me (OH absorbing and considering the answers):
Can something be done?
Yes.
What?
Repeat surgery to undo the previous – this time resulting in an external stoma bag.
(This was something OH had wanted to avoid, naturally – but all options were now on the table.)
But. . . the professor is hesitating
But what?
The operation is very big, and difficult (with a murmured aside: ‘I wouldn’t like to do it’)
OH and I glance at each other, askance . Did we hear correctly? The great man, the top man in his field from what we’ve heard, said he did not fancy doing the operation because it was too difficult!
Why so difficult?
We won’t know until we go in.
(again we glance at each other. ‘Go in’? Go in where? Oh, he means enter the body. With his knife. That’s great. What does he expect to find – or not find? Diseased organs? Alien creatures popping out? This is like getting blood out of a stone – oops, bad analogy.)
What exactly do you mean?
There could be a lot of scar tissue, and adhesions. That makes operating with such a delicate procedure very difficult – and time consuming. It can be difficult to locate certain organs – and, er, the main artery.
(We’re getting there.)
But possible? To fix him, that is!
The prof and I both look at OH, the subject of all this. He is goggle eyed. He finally speaks up and asks the big question:
What are my chances of survival?
There is a long pause. Doctors never want to answer that question. They hedge their bets. This prof is no different.
He says:
We’d set aside the day for the procedure, with a full team: specialist surgeons for nephrology, a urologist, pouch surgeon, nursing team, heart man. . .I would head the team.
Yes, says OH, and repeats the question.
The consultant draws a breath:
Considering your age, and previous surgical history . . .
Yes, spit it out, we want to say-
50-50
Then he becomes all matter-of-fact:
if you decide you do want to go ahead, let us know within a few days, as we will need to schedule the operation many months ahead, in order to get the full team together.
……………
That was over a year ago. We considered long and hard after that consultation. And decided to go for it: the big operation. It was scheduled to take place in September 2009. We convinced ourselves it was the right thing to do, and OH would pull through and –
And then, as the time for the op approached, we got increasingly cold feet. Hell, wasn’t a poor quality of life better than no life at all (if he was in the not-so-fortunate 50%)? Yes! So, with just three weeks to go, we phoned up the hospital and pulled out. They were none too pleased – and that’s an understatement. It seems we messed up an entire team’s schedule and a top team at that.
Instead, we went on holiday to OluDeniz in Turkey in October 2009 – wind back to the start of this blog.
So here we are again, nearly five months after our OluDeniz trip. Turkey is again on our horizon. And so is the operation.
If we decide to go for it, this time there will be no pulling out. OH’s symptoms are becoming worse and will continue to do so. Added to that, he’s not getting any younger which is also a factor.
Turkey problems take a back seat while we re-evaluate the situation . . .
……………………….
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Oh dear, wasn't expecting that. What a worry for you both.
-
I was waiting until,someone responded to this latest update as I seriously was lost for something sensible/caring to say. Just hoping (because we are a way down the road) that the news is good. Please Arty, don't as my blood pressure wont take it! ;D
-
Me tooooo Arty... Lost for words...and that doesn't happen tooooo often.....wish you and your family well....x
6 sleeps till next blog...Roger can't wait!!! Nor me......
-
Oh, Arty.
-
Early MARCH 2010 London
BLOG 23: Decided
We let the subject of the op and its implications rest for a few days. I fill him in on more details of my trip, highlighting the positives and glossing over the negatives. I’m beginning to understand why he agreed so readily to this new chapter in our lives – such a fast decision to buy abroad is not normally like him; I’m the impetuous one, he likes to take his time to think about important decisions like this. Now, on reflection, I think he was wanting to grab what life had to offer while he could. Maybe the prof’s words were going through his head. Maybe he thought, I’m well enough to enjoy things now – who knows for how much longer? Why wait – let’s go for it! Or maybe he sensed just how much I wanted it-
Then, as I’m rambling on about the villa, he cuts me short: “I think I’m going to go ahead and have the op. What do you think?”
It’s your decision, I want to say, but that’s not fair. Of course it is his decision and his life – but we know we must both be in this together, fully committed. It’s both our lives, of course. And at the moment, his life is pretty miserable – just about bearable, but miserable. And getting worse. He wants me to agree to go ahead. It is hard. I want him alive at all costs. How selfish is that? There’s no point in saying ‘are you sure?’ The answer is ‘yes, I’m quite sure as long as the outcome is good’ or ‘No, I’m not at all sure, if the outcome is that I die’.
Long pause. “I think we should do it”. That is the answer he wants – a better, sweeter, healthier life. Some golden years together. And with time spent in our dream villa . . .
So the big decision is made and we both know that there will be no going back this time.
I go to the computer to email L: Photos wanted! NOW! Show us progress on the ground! The villa must be finished as promised by end of June. And I tell her the reason why.
The next morning, I eagerly open my emails to check for a reply-
………………..
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
late MARCH 2010 London
BLOG 24: The big dig
And there is one, with an attachment! Finally! Progress! I click it open and here it is: the beginning of our dream.
(http://s15.postimg.org/61davyquf/13_3_10.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/61davyquf/)Ok, there’s a lot of mud, a lot of earth and bits of wood but I can recognize the area. More attachments! Yay! Started at last. (http://s30.postimg.org/ggzrx7x7h/big_Dig_with_sideroad.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/ggzrx7x7h/)(http://s2.postimg.org/3ltz0v8sl/big_Dig.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/3ltz0v8sl/)We’re excited, at least I am. OH looks more relieved than excited. I guess he was thinking the worst: that the whole thing may have been a giant scam. I reassure him: “They’re really nice people” (hmm, S shows a lovely smile when needed, L is, I think, a genuine person but has no real power in the company. K – well, the least said about him, the better. Oz is a great salesman, that’s for sure, C is a fast typist and does what she’s told, M – our driver and teamaker – what can I say? He’s keen to serve . . . . tea! )
During my short visit, I’ve met their architect, their kitchen designer, the man in charge of the building team, the man who supervises laying the marble and a load of shopkeepers.
I assure him all will be well. And, come June, well . . .roll on June!
I email L to thank her for the photos. She has promised to send me weekly photographic updates. The contract states that the next payment will be due when the ‘skeleton’ will be complete. Let’s hope they keep to plan, or we’ll end up as skeletons, and then, even supersalesman, Oz, would find it hard to sell us! I look again at the photo. It is just a hole in the ground and a lot of debris – there’s a long way to go. Will it really be ready by June? It’s already March!
Waiting is excruciating. I want instant action. I want to see it rise from the ground in fast motion. Most of all, I want to feel it is ours – our villa in the sun, our little bit of tropical paradise (well, maybe not exactly ‘tropical’ but rural, exotic -I’ve spotted the odd cow being walked along the dusty roads -and sun drenched). I glance through the window of our home in London. The sky is overcast, not a glimpse of blue. Spring should be in the air, but it’s been a cold Winter and the blossom trees are yet to blossom. The road outside is full of cars, parked-bumper-to bumper and through the bare branches I can see the brick walls of neighbouring homes. The thought of our own villa, surrounded by mountains, close to the sea, fronted by a lush green forest, with a sparkling pool just a few steps of the living room – how enticing is that? When I retire from teaching in College, and am no longer tied to non-term times for holidays, we’ll be able to up-sticks and go any time. For a week, a month - sometimes with family and friends, or sometimes just us on our own.
We’ll make the most of our life in the sun. OH will be able to really enjoy life. I quickly shut away the thought: if he has a life. Of course he will! First things first: 1) holiday in the sun 2) operation 3) recovery 4) happy ever after-
Well, that’s the plan. . .
…………………
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
End MARCH 2010 London
BLOG 25: Looking ahead
We have a date for the op. It is 10 October this year but he will go into hospital a couple of days earlier for tests and preparation. It seems a long way away, not something to dwell on right now.
More pictures! The villa is finally making progress - there are the beginnings of things (foundations?) coming up out of the ground - actual building works - finally!
(http://s29.postimg.org/67uj5g3rn/30_3_2019.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/67uj5g3rn/) (http://s14.postimg.org/3mzkd35pp/30_3_2010_wood_Foregrnd.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/3mzkd35pp/)(http://s12.postimg.org/pjsnvvq8p/30_3_2010_forest_Backgrnd.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/pjsnvvq8p/)It’s difficult waiting for each week’s pictures, especially if they are late. This happens when L is particularly busy and says she hasn’t had time to drive down to the site. She is the one taking the progress shots. I find out that the builder in charge of the building team has an English wife who I can communicate with by email. A bit of luck! (I’m not supposed to do this, says L, but this is her email address. . . – I think L feels that the company has treated us badly and this is her way of making it up to us. Also, reading between the lines, she feels unappreciated and exploited by her Infinity bosses. She’s a nice English girl and feels some solidarity with her UK customers).
So I’m able to get a verbal picture direct from the horse’s mouth, so to speak – or at least from the mouth of the horse’s wife! The wife does not know about our trials and tribulations regarding the late start. Her husband is newly appointed, and it seems he already has some troubles: Infinity are sometimes late in their payments to him and his building team. When this happens – guess what? – work slows down or stops. Another thing that seems to be happening is that the team is pulled off working on our villa to work on another on the site, or sent to Kemer where a large complex is being built by Infinity. I’m not supposed to know this and if I voice my concerns to L, no doubt my channel of communication will be stopped. Another aggravation is that I can only communicate to the directors via L. They obviously have better things to do than answer their emails or phone calls personally. I can puff and pant and push all I like, but things will move along at their own pace. We’ll get there in the end, I tell myself, and OH. Don’t worry.
Now, my emails to the builder’s wife are not getting answered. They were becoming more spaced out – now – nothing at all. Haven’t received a photo from L for a couple of weeks. What’s going on? Or, more to the point, not going on (or up)?
………..
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Lord, I would be so frustrated by all this. Stress levels through the roof (if there was one ;D )
-
Frustrated - yes; anxious - yes; upset - yes…. but excited that at last things were moving. Thanks, for commenting (and reading) Bluwise!
-
No, thank you - I look forward to it every week ArtyMar.
-
ArtyMar... Can't wait for next blog.....no fingernails left....will show you in September...tell OH Roger will have a drink with him in Angels whilst we witches chin wag....x
-
Good god, you really had to go through the mill for the house didn't you, Arty?
-
Yes, Menthol - an understatement.
Gillian, I thought I would be able to persuade OH to come again in September - so far no luck, but still trying. He loves it when there, but not the getting there and returning :( With age, OH aint so active, alas :'( . . . but I'll leave it awhile, and resume the attack a bit later when his defences are down. . . ;)
Unfortunately, unlike Menthol, I can't leave him alone at home (he needs my care) - or I'd be off in a flash with girl friend(s)/family.
-
Well tell him from me, Arty that I would like to take him out for the day - anywhere he wants - got the car. I'll be his chauffeur for the day. You can of course come with us or take the opportunity to have some Arty-time! :D
-
Menthol, you're an angel! Thank you so much - I'll tell him but I'm not pushing - just for the moment anyway.
-
April 2010 London
BLOG 26: Stalled
The building was going up, bit by bit, slowly but surely. The weekly photos were encouraging. I could see the villa taking shape.
(http://s17.postimg.org/ux0xcu9ln/100_1700.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/ux0xcu9ln/)
(http://s8.postimg.org/t45dxotnl/100_1707.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/t45dxotnl/)
Is there ever plain sailing? Oh dear. I receive an email from the builder’s wife. Except he is no longer the builder- at least for our villa. Seems he has been sacked. According to his wife, the reason that Infinity gave him the push was that work was not progressing fast enough. She said it was a catch 22: the reason that work was not progressing fast enough was a) the workmen’s pay was invariably late or not forthcoming from Infinity and b) they were constantly being taken to another site, where, presumably clients had been complaining that work was not progressing fast enough. Her husband was driven to distraction, eventually lost his temper with his employers, and lost his job.
Now what? I email L to say that a little bird has told me certain worrying facts. When would building be resumed? I’m awaiting her reply. In the meantime, should I book our flight for end of June?
I send another email to L, of course, with copies to S and K (though I’m pretty sure they don’t bother to read them). The usual bleats: we want action! You, meaning the directors of Infinity, gave us promises! Seems the villa will not be finished! So much for your promises! Prices for fares are going up all the time for high season, and our family from the US needs to finalise their holiday plans also. In view of OH’s coming operation, we are planning on a wonderful family holiday all together in our new villa. So. . . again, what is happening? Do not leave us hanging, not knowing the situation. Come clean etc etc
Poor L, maybe she is getting similar emails from other frustrated clients whose villas or apartments are incomplete. OH is right, of course, they are untrustworthy, unreliable and basically: (I won’t say it, but there are a few expletives in my unwritten description). Shall we go ahead and book our flights – and tell our daughter and family to book theirs too? Theirs is a long and tiring flight from the US with children. Hopefully, I’ll soon receive an email from L with some answers.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Keep going . I live for Thursdays
-
Thanks, Saga Louts, when I write I love to think someone out there is actually reading the blog and enjoying it. It's interesting to see the number of hits as they mount up too. btw, you have a great name!
-
I read every week Arty. Just wish you didn't keep us hanging on each week. ;)
-
We are still with you ArtyMar!! Luving it!! Roger & Gill....x
-
Thanks, Bewva and Gillian! Er, Bewva, keeping you hanging on every week is the general idea ;) After all, an aggro shared is an aggro halved - even though we're looking back to the past. . .
-
I just hear the Eastenders' 'duff duff' at the end of every blog post :o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1iMJNYHe1I
-
ya gottit, Menthol! Love your clever visual/audio responses!
-
Guess what, fellow witches, OH and I are returning end of September - arriving 27th - departing 7th October!
Menthol, "we'll be coming round the mountain when we come; we'll be coming round the mountain when we come. We'll be riding 6 white horses. . ."
-
Ah that is good news!
Lovely time of year too.
See you then, then :D
-
ArtyMar....that's great. We also leave on the 7th October. See you witches in September.
-
Late April 2010 London
BLOG 27: Booking
Well, we’ve made the decision to go ahead and book. Come what may, we’re planning on a holiday before the big op in October. I’m restricted to College term holidays in my job as a college art teacher. The deadline for villa completion is end of June. We book for late July – we want to be back in London, calm and clear for the looming Op Day.
I email L and directors to let them know. Let them know in no uncertain terms – quoting penalty clauses that I’ve had inserted into the new contract. I reason, and do my best to reassure OH that if the villa is not finished, we’ll stay nearby in a comparable villa (at Infinity’s expense), still have a holiday, and watch our villa being built. Of course, I don’t communicate this to Infinity. I try not to countenance the thought that contracts mean little to them.
I finally receive a reply from L. Amazingly, she is following the party line and keeps telling us not to worry – all will be ok. Ok, in our dreams, I think. ‘Buying the Dream’ may yet end up as exactly that.
But then I receive an email from L saying that a new builder has been appointed and it’s all systems go . . . again. OH is still leaving things pretty much to me. His mind is on other things. He’s spending a lot of time in his study, “tidying up our personal affairs” which I find unnerving. I tell him he can do that after the op when he’s recovered; please just tidy up the study! (a mess, stacked high with old newspapers, travel mags, old brochures and souvenir magnets stuck to filing cabinet and radiator.)
Another email from L: Infinity has made an additional staff appointment it seems: a ‘general manager’. She’s happy. Now this new chap will receive all the irate emails and phone calls from anxious customers, and not her. I’m not going to fall for that one. I politely inform her by email that as far as I’m concerned she remains my channel of communication re the villa as she is the person still taking the photos. Photos are my only evidence that something is literally happening on the ground.
So far, no reply.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
(http://s17.postimg.org/cd5n2hggr/shocked_baby.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/cd5n2hggr/)
-
Just so love your blog! I have got into the habit of not reading for a few weeks, then read it all in one go and then sit here wishing there was just one more update to read! You have inspired me to perhaps start a blog of my own - completely different subject though! Look forward to the future instalments. Barbara x
-
Babcc, delighted that you are enjoying my blog. I was inspired to write one after reading Menthol's great blog which is so well written and funny. I'm enjoying looking up old emails and photos, remembering and writing it up for posterity ;)
Do join us bloggers, and if you're in Fethiye or environs when we're there, join the witches coven 8)
-
Please do start a blog on here babcc. I too love reading Arty's blog and it would be great to have another one to check into :D
-
June 2010 London
BLOG 28: Contingency planning
When is a skeleton not a skeleton? We are up to date on our stages of payment, the latest being on ‘completion of the skeleton’. There was some argument about this so-called skeleton which was not clearly and unambiguously defined in the contract. (I know, I know – we should have had our own lawyer during this process). The skeleton, to my mind was the whole building up but without fitments, internal and external rendering. What we see in the photos they define as the skeleton, and I suppose it could be called that. Skeleton or not, it’s far from complete and unless there is a miraculous increase in building speed, I cannot imagine that it will be finished in time for us to stay. Maybe they think we’ll be content to live on a building site? And that would be a good excuse to get busy on other villas no doubt.
(http://s22.postimg.org/4ftxrsvy5/SDC10815.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/4ftxrsvy5/)
(http://s28.postimg.org/vwqqokpcp/SDC10816.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/vwqqokpcp/)
Regardless of L’s continued assurances that ‘all will be ready for your arrival’, I email her to say that I want details of the alternative accommodation promised should the villa by any chance not be ready according to the contract. This time she replies fairly promptly and tells me she ‘will look into it’. I email back and say that unless I hear the details from her by the end of the week, we may all camp at Infinity offices – in which case, K and S will find it hard to side step all six of us! And, I suspect, the sight might not too good for business!
By the end of the week I get a response. (Well, what do you know!) The villa she has lined up is very close by the site where ours is being built – and it appears ok though not particularly ‘luxurious’. Seems even L can kid along no more. The time is fast approaching the end of June deadline when the villa should be complete enough for us to stay to find out any ‘snagging’ issues. And it still looks only half built. Soon we’ll be viewing it in the flesh, so to speak. With a bit of rendered flesh on its concrete bones, hopefully, it will soon be a skeleton no longer.
I email my daughter to tell her the news. She’s disappointed that we won’t be staying in our newly built villa, but delighted to be having a holiday with us and keen to see the villa ‘in progress’. Needless to say, so are we!
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
…………….
-
July 2010 Koca Calis
BLOG 29: Inch by inch down the dusty road. . .
I’m sitting in the rustic outdoor Internet café just up the road from our rented villa where L has put us up. Infinity, as per contract, are paying for the rental. This café is within spitting distance of our villa construction, so with a few paces down the dusty unpaved road, I can check progress. Every morning, Daughter (armed with her ever-present laptop) and I traverse the road to this café, called ‘The Escape Bar’, have an orange juice (the freshly squeezed ones are great) while she goes to work on her emails. At this time of year, even that short walk in the blazing heat is exhausting.
While she taps away on her emails, I go to the building site to view the (non) progress of our villa. When I do spot some activity on the site, it is usually a couple of men, lounging outside our ‘soon-to-be kitchen’ on a slab of concrete that will become our terrace. They are drinking tea. The other activity normally seen is these same men tossing their empty water bottles or cigarette packs onto the road wherever they happen to be (normally lounging at the building site).
Sometimes a similar activity can be seen at the other three villas being built at the site. I note that there now appears to be only two more villas similar to ours and a third of a different design. When I ask L about this, she says that the two Russian families bought the adjoining plot so they could each have a larger garden. That’s good for us – more open space. A German couple bought the third villa, so it seems supersalesman, Oz, was successful there. All villas appear to be only half built, and with the sparse building activity I’ve observed, I’m not surprised.
On one of my sojourns past the site, I bump into an English guy, John, an expat who lives just across the narrow (paved) road that runs at right angles to the muddy unpaved road past the forest. He’s obviously not delighted to see yet more of his rural, unspoilt surroundings disappear. He tells me that only a year or two ago ago, there was no road leading down from the Escape bar, past the forest and past our half built villa. The forest, it seems, butted right up to the end house. They were told that the forest was sacrosanct and could not be built on. Next thing they knew, trees were cut down to make a road. There’s still a lot of empty land around. I wonder how long it will be before it, too, is built upon. He asks whether we are happy with our builders and my bitter laugh conveys my answer. He says something I’ve heard more than once before: “just make sure you get your Tapu!” I tell him we’re aware of this, and that it is part of the contract.
Our nine-year-old twin grandchildren (boy and girl) are enjoying themselves in the pool, watched over by OH. Daughter’s husband couldn’t make it at this time (in the US, it is standard practice to have only two weeks annual vacation; we should count ourselves lucky on this side of the pond).
Moaning about my frustrations to L doesn’t help. As she once said, she is only the messenger. As to getting through to the bosses – well that gives more frustration than it’s worth. In Turkey there is not supposed to be heavy building going on in the tourist season, I’m told. Presumably that means things could hot up again after October. I certainly hope so. OH reminds me we are on holiday and not to become obsessed with the villa’s lack of progress. He has the kind of patience I most definitely lack.
When I go to the site and attempt to talk to the men, they look at me as if I’m some weird creature and shrug their shoulders. Their boss man is not in evidence – so no luck there. I tell myself that there’s not much point in expecting sudden, miraculous progress – judging from what I’m seeing – it just aint happenin’. But Daughter needs to check her emails daily, so we make the short daily trek to the Escape bar and I make the short trek to the villa site just down the road.
The best place to be at the moment is in the pool with the cool water lapping over one’s shoulders. That’s where Daughter and I will be heading next. We’ll make the most of this family holiday!
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Artymar love, love ,love your blog. Please can you give us more. It reminds me of books I have stayed up all night to read (and there have been a few) but we know (or think) there is a happy ending. Please give us more, you old tease, you. :D
-
It's just making me want to go into Infinity's offices and slap them round the chops!
-
menthol, that made me laugh out loud. :)
-
Artymar, it must have been sheer hell -
Love your writing - can't wait for more.
-
Thanks for your comments, Sadler, Menthol and Bluwise. I too laughed out loud at Menthol's comment. OH heard me and asked what I was writing about. I said "the latest comments re my blog", so then I had to read the blog out loud to him. He was surprised that I could remember it all - ha! It's like yesterday and still ongoing. As to going to Infinity's offices, Menthol, that might be a bit difficult, as future blogs will explain . . .
-
Have you forgotten us ArtyMar? ;D
-
No, no, Sadler! Apologies!
end July 2010 Koca Calis
BLOG 30: on holiday
And we do. There’s a lot to be said for getting up in the morning with the sun blazing, not being concerned about ‘what to wear’: swimsuits are the order of every day. Breakfasting by the pool, watching the kids jumping in and splashing each other delightedly, joining them – ahh that cold water feels good while the sun beats down. Slather on the suncream. More ice for the drinks.
Daughter and I leave the kids and OH to it, while we saunter down to the Escape bar for our usual morning routine. We stroll back to our rented villa and then we all take a stroll to the beach. Here in Koca Calis, there are a number of what are called ‘beach clubs’ lined up adjacent to each other. Each has gardens, seating with restaurant and bar close to the water, free wi-fi and free sunbeds. Most have added extras such as padded hammocks and beanbags, usually under umbrellas, thatched awnings or fringed palm trees. Drinks are brought to your little table next to your sunbed. The sea is warm with gentle swells rather than surf-type waves – and unlike English beaches, it’s never too crowded. The kids can splash in the waves, just yards away from our sunbeds so we can keep an eye on them. In other words, heaven.
I’m trying my best to follow OH’s words of wisdom: take it easy / heavy building is not allowed at this time of year, so don’t expect it / relax and enjoy this special time with Daughter and grandkids /
And we do. We travel by dolmus and taxi and go to all the places that enchanted us on our previous trips: the Fethiye Tuesday market, the Fish Market and restaurant, Calis Beach prom where the kids dart in and out of hotels comparing pools while dripping icecream, the Ghost village up in the mountains, the harbour in Fethiye. We take a 12-island boat cruise on Hanedan 11, one of the larger boats that has a slide from the top deck into the sea. The kids love this (until a bigger kid slides down on top of them). The old city with its cobbled streets – eating by candlelight under canopies of trees lit with strings of lights. OluDeniz to watch the paragliders come in to land on a narrow strip of grass (I make an inner resolve to go paragliding on my next trip). Yes, it’s a great holiday – as long as I stop worrying about the villa.
I remind myself that it surely will be finished by this time next year, by which time OH will have recovered from his op. Next year!
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
mid September 2010 London
BLOG 31: Looking back
We’re looking at photos and reminiscing about our holiday. How unbelievably hot it was. How tall the grandkids have grown since we last saw them six months previously. How lovely it was to have this time with Daughter and grandchildren. The boat trip stop-off with OH on the boat trying to spot us in the water below, taking photos while I tried to signal him not to hang so far out the window (not so much afraid of him falling out – worried that he might drop my iPhone!). Shopping for carpets in the old city with Daughter who is furnishing her newly-bought 100 year-old house in Boston: how patient the carpet salesmen were when rolling out carpet after carpet while she took photos and input them into her laptop in a program that allows her to see her home with the new carpet in place – and then, after all that, needing another look at the carpet on the bottom of the pile. The pleasure of relaxing at the beach clubs with the sea lapping close by – the kids burying each other in the sand and then delightedly washing off in the waves. The s-l-o-w progress of the villa building: was there any actual progress while we were there? When will it be finished?! What a beautiful place Fethiye is with its lovely harbour. Watching the passing crowd while sipping ice-cold Efes on the prom at Calis beach. The unique peace and tranquility and personal service offered by those beach clubs at Koca Calis. The old city with its cobbled streets and outdoor restaurants under the trees, the surrounding mountains. . . I tell OH that our villa will be the perfect place to recuperate after the op as long as we go in Spring or Autumn. He agrees and we silently visualize our next visit. I can see myself lying in a hammock by the side of our pool with OH relaxing on a sunbed nearbye reading an English newspaper. I don’t ask what he’s dreaming of – just in case he expresses worries or doubts. Worries and doubts are not to be countenanced right now.
If only we could have left our visit till late September (but of course that’s non-term time and my College work would not allow – nor would it have been possible for Daughter and grandkids), the weather would have been cooler. On the other hand, with the op looming in early October, it would not have been a good idea to go away.
By the look of the latest photos sent by L, the villa is still far from being ready for occupation. The next time we go looks like being late Spring next year, my Easter half-term break. That will be, of course, after OH’s operation. I banish fearful thoughts and instead think of us relaxing at our villa. Surely it will be ready then?. . .
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Love the description of your holiday Arty - still feeling the pain of your concerns though.
-
Me too Bluewise! :(
-
Even though most of us know the end result you still have a way of holding on to us to find out what happens, a really good read artymar xx
-
Thanks, Echogirl, Sadler and Bluwise. It's great to get feedback!
-
October 2010 London
BLOG 32: Looking forward
I’m sitting on a visitor’s chair next to OH in the ward, the evening prior to his operation. He’s had the pre-op tests and the op is scheduled to be first on the list early tomorrow morning with the full team. They estimate it to last at least 9 hours – hence the early start.
I have a special gift for him, something I have kept secret to give as a surprise. It is a hand-made art book which I made specially for him during a day-long staff development course on creating ‘art books’ . It opens from both front and back, with hand stitching on the pages with cut-outs revealing other images. These images incorporate both photos and some of my original paintings (of gardens), also my painstaking calligraphy (did a one year course) – basically it’s all about love, based on Robert Graves poem:
Grass green
And Aspen-green
Laurel-green
And sea-green
Fine emerald green
And many another hue
As green commands
The variables of green
So love
My loves of you
OH is really touched by it and says he will look at it again first thing in the morning, presumably before they give him his pre-op medication. As I take my leave to go home, he says: “Drive carefully!” (he’s worried about me?) And then, almost cheerily: “Don’t worry. See you tomorrow.”
I hold his hand, and say, “you promise?” I mean, and he knows what I mean – that he will get through. I won’t be seeing him early in the morning- it will be after the op.
He smiles and says firmly: “I promise’".
OH never breaks his promise.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
ArtyMar I wanted to post a reply to this blog to encourage you with your weekly writings, but the subject of this one leaves me without any words. I just feel relieved that we know/hope we know that the outcome was good. :)
-
I don't post on the forum very often, but I absolutely love reading your blog I try and leave it a couple of weeks so I can read two episodes at a time lol . Very enjoyable reading thank you for sharing your experience with us on here
-
Arty Mar...Great blog.... I have emailed you... Hope you witches are still meeting....
-
Thank you for your encouragement, Sadler, reigns and Gillian, and Menthol, my inspiration behind writing this blog. Gillian, we arrive in the early hours of 27th of this month and leave on 7 October. We witches should meet up again! When?
-
Gillian, I haven't received your email.. ???
-
... What about your blog day Arty Mar...Thursday 1st October.. Any Witches free?? Feel free to change the spell....oops!! The Day.....you name the potion Arty Mar......oops!! The time....
-
Hopefully! :)
-
OK, let's make it firm: 2pm on Blog Day, Thursday 1 October at the Angel Bar, same as before? Witch whiches ;D will join us?
-
Sorry, will have to duck out again. Can't do Oct 1st, already committed to something. :(
-
Would love to meet you witches at your coven but will be out of the area at that time. :)
-
:'(
-
October 2010 London
BLOG 33: Survival
I’ve been told that there is no point waiting around at the hospital as he is likely to be in the operating theatre for most of the day. It’s difficult waiting at home – there’s nothing I can put my mind to, except pray that all will go well. I keep hearing the Prof’s voice, an aside that he certainly did not intend me to hear: “I wouldn’t like to do this operation”. Well, of course, he is doing it, together with the rest of the highly qualified team.
Finally, late in the afternoon, I phone the hospital and speak to someone whose number I have been given. There’s no news other than he is still ‘in theatre’. OH has a good singing voice and used to enjoy playing roles in musical theatre (until a ladder was dropped on his toes in a production of ‘Gigi’). I wish being ‘in theatre’ meant he was rehearsing on stage.
The minutes and hours tick by. Still no news. I decide to go to the hospital so I can be on the spot, and hopefully, see him when he comes into the recovery ward, post op. It’s now 10 hours since the start. I try to quell my anxiety and put on a brave face.
When I get to the hospital, I am led to a small room where one of the surgical team comes to see me. It’s hard to tell from his expression what’s going on. He’s certainly not smiling. He tells me some pretty grim facts:
OH has just come out of theatre, into Intensive Therapy (used to be called Intensive Care).
There are complications.
What complications?
Seems that despite all precautions including having a kidney specialist present (and urologist, and cardiologist and goodness know how many others) as part of the team, an artery was cut due to it being obscured by extensive adhesions i.e. scar tissue from previous ops. They had large amounts of prematched blood on hand, but he evidently lost almost all the blood in his body (!) and the biggest problem they had was that no matter how much they pumped in, it couldn’t clot fast enough – even with special clotting agent. His heart remained stable but it’s too early to know about possible kidney damage or brain damage. They had to close the abdominal incision, but despite their best efforts, his blood pressure was still not stable which meant that there was possible internal bleeding. In the intensive therapy unit (ITU), he will be monitored closely but survival is touch and go. Daughter, from America (herself a doctor at consultant level), had been in constant touch with someone from the team and was getting the next plane out of Boston.
It will be good to have her here with me.
I tell other two sons not to come to hospital right now. I’ll see them tomorrow. I telephone my dear sister in Australia, who gives me great words of comfort. There is a small waiting room near the ITU for visiting family, and off it, another small room with a sink and a bench. I am given permission to bed down there for the night with a few cushions and a rug. I feel numb. I don’t expect to get much sleep.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
ArtyMar....lost for words....such worrying times...we are with you in the waiting room....
-
Agree completely Gillian.
-
Oh my goodness.
-
Also lost for words. Certainly puts others perceived worries into perspective.
-
Beautifully written ArtyMar, with you in the room at the hospital xx
-
October 2010 London
BLOG 34: night-time drama
During the night, I get up and wander along a dim corridor of the ITU, hearing the bleeps and clicks of the array of monitors attached to various patients in various rooms to the right and left. I bump into a strange guy, padding around in flip flops. He’s dressed in a brightly coloured Hawaiian jungle-patterned shirt open to his naval, revealing his hairy chest and hairier paunch. He introduces himself: he’s the Intensive Therapy Consultant! He knows about OH, and immediately assumes a sad, concerned face. OH has been taken back to theatre. King of the Jungle will have more news ‘later’. When? He doesn’t know. I tell him where I’m ‘sleeping’ – and point out the room. He says he’ll inform me of further news. His parting words are: “It’s good your daughter is flying over.” He does not have to spell out his meaning.
A few hours later I get up again – the bench is hard and it’s impossible to sleep anyway. Was that guy for real, or was he a bad dream? He’s for real. I see him again, this time talking to another doctor. They turn toward me. With a sad expression, King of the Jungle pads away. The other doctor, a young Aussie, has just come out of Theatre where they operated again on OH. The Aussie doctor says he’s had a lot of battlefield surgical experience which has come in useful. Evidently, there was internal bleeding, the reason OH had to be taken back to theatre and opened up again to find the source. The Aussie surgeon realized that there was no single source of the bleeding, there was what he called a ‘general seepage’ due to the previous extensive surgery (he’s encountered this before, on the battlefield). His solution was to pack the whole abdominal area with dressings under pressure, to absorb this and then close the wound, trusting that the pressure would eventually allow the blood to clot. OH would be monitored back in the ITU for the next 12 hours in the hope his blood pressure would stabilize once the bleeding had stopped. He would then need to be re-opened, pack removed, and restitched (sounds like a badly made cushion!). A lot of surgery for one not-so-young man to undergo after a very major op. I thank him for his efforts and return to my lonely bench in the little room. It’s just about morning.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Good grief Arty, that sounds horrendous. A fit young person would have difficulty with that much intervention, let alone someone of his age. Just waiting on tenterhooks for the good news! X
-
Arty Mar.....Roger & I are holding your hand....OH May not be young but he's a tough old boot!!!..they don't make em like that anymore....Cant wait for Thursday.....
-
How strong you both are.
-
October 2010 London
BLOG 35: daytime drama
In the morning, the ITU comes back to life. People come to the family waiting room adjoining mine. Only two people at a time are allowed to visit a patient and cannot spend more than 10 minutes at the bedside so there’s a lot of coming and going. There’s a monitoring system in the waiting room that assists this process. Before entering the patient’s ward, visitors must wash their hands at a sink in the corridor and put on a plastic apron, which they discard after each visit. There are two patients per ward, separated by a curtain, looked after by an ITU nurse who monitors all the machinery surrounding the patient.
It’s a shock to see OH, unconscious on his high bed, attached to all the tubes and machinery which have taken over all his bodily functions, including breathing. He looks so deathly still. The monitors click and whir emitting various bleeps from time to time, with screens showing moving graphs and constantly changing figures. And this isn’t the finish of surgery – if all goes well, he’ll be taken back to have the pack removed. The main thing is, he’s still alive.
My two sons join me in the waiting room. I have warned them what to expect and go with each when we are allowed to visit the ward. It’s still a shock – nothing has changed, the nurse says OH is holding his own, but there’s a long road ahead and only time will tell. It’s a bigger shock for the boys (I should say, ‘men’ but they’re still my boys, my grown-up boys). When Daughter arrives from Boston she tells me of her conversation with the Aussie doctor, and how critical OH’s condition is, which is obvious. On hearing from the doctor by phone, she immediately packed a case and caught the next plane out of Boston – not so easy to do mid term with her family and work. We’re here together now, supporting each other, supporting OH. I know he will pull through. He promised and OH never breaks a promise.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Another super post, you are so good at conveying your emotions. x
-
Arty - I sent you a PM the other day - did you see it?
-
At Angel Bar...only a witch & wizard here..... You must be all out casting spells....
-
Oh, dear - massive apology to the witch and wizard - I feel very guilty. I had a few problems and our meeting just went out of my mind.
Menthol, I've just picked up your pm, I should have seen it earlier. You also were unable to attend the covern that didn't quite happen :'(
We leave next Wednesday, and have arranged to have 'Sunday lunch' at The Angel Bar which starts at 2 pm - (and is available until 6 pm). We plan to go at 3 p.m. If you want to join us, I can book a table for us....?
-
BLOG 36: the inside world
It’s a strange new world of its own, the ITU. There’s one nurse on duty per two patients, always on hand. There’s a strange kind of hush, punctuated by the bleeps and grunts of the life support machinery in each small ward – none of the hustle and bustle, trolleys and nurses, visitors coming and going as in the normal wards.
There are small groups of visitors coming to the family room to wait their turn to visit their loved one and we develop a sort of mutual understanding. We understand each others’ tears and fears. On the other side of the curtain in OH’s room, there’s a young guy who has also not regained consciousness. We meet his Mum and girlfriend in the family room. He was involved in a motorcycle crash a week or so ago. He’s had broken bones ‘fixed’ but remains on life support. There’s been no change in his condition. The other main visitor who is almost permanently there is a middle aged blonde woman whose father, aged over 90, is also on full life support. She has been his carer for many years and they are extremely close. She explains that she has OCD and cannot bear to be away from him, suffering severe anxiety every minute. She says the doctors say it would be kinder to turn off his life support, as he has no chance of recovery and will only suffer if he regains consciousness. She says she does not believe this – how could she live without him? - and whenever his oxygen levels rise even a little, according to the figures on the monitors (indicating that he is a bit more able to breathe for himself) she believes that this is a sign that he is recovering, despite being told by the doctors that this is a relatively minor factor in his overall condition. She wants to be with him and stays by his bedside whenever possible. They are relaxing the 10-minute rule for her. Poor woman.
Another group of visitors arrive and make themselves tea using the machine in the room. Surprisingly, they are all smiling – not what we’re used to in this sombre place. A mum, dad and daughter in her 20s. Mum and Dad tell us she was in the ITU for 8 weeks, a record time. No one thought she would recover – but she did, and look at her now: smiles all round. They have come back to thank the team in the ITU.
OH has been returned to theatre to be ‘opened’ once again to remove the pack that has been instrumental in stopping the internal bleeding. The Aussie doctor’s strategy has worked in that he believes the internal ‘seeping’ has stopped, evidenced by a return to a more normal blood pressure. The big question now is: can he withstand this further surgical procedure – another onslaught to his body?
All we can do is wait but this time I am not alone. My children count the minutes with me.
. . . .
OH is back from theatre – although we can’t see him yet! The Aussie surgeon smiles at me and confirms that the bleeding has stopped. He says: “your husband is a remarkable man. “ (as if I didn’t know!) – “We’re not out of the woods yet. We must just wait and see. Rest assured, our Intensive Care is the best in the country. We are doing our very best.”
We all thank him profusely. We won’t be able to see OH for a couple of hours at least now – so we leave the Unit to go to the hospital cafeteria. My dear grown-up children are centering their attention on me, with hugs and loving words of encouragement. What would I do without them?
We pass back down the corridor, wash our hands again at the sink with the large sign, and throw our plastic aprons in the big bin provided.
We smile at the people in the family room, and exit the ITU. I suddenly feel quite hungry. Can’t remember when I last ate.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Not being competitive (never!), but - er, Menthol, I just passed you on the number of hits on our blogs - admittedly, by just one. ;) Now, you'll have to continue your blogging, just to keep up! 8)
-
Excellent writing Arty - thanks so much for sharing.
-
October 2010 London
BLOG 37: the outside world
OH is back in his bed in the ITU. So far, at least, there is no deterioration after the follow-up surgery. This is good.
I think briefly of life outside this bubble, and with a start, realize that I have not contacted work. My colleagues at College knew that OH’s operation was imminent – they must be wondering what’s happened. I can’t face ringing them, so I send an email to HR, together with one to my Head of Department and one to a close colleague, who I know will tell the others. In view of the situation I tell them that I would like to take ‘leave of absence’ for the rest of this term, and resume work after Xmas. I’m thinking that when OH returns home (and I know he will) he will require a lot of care – and anyway, I don’t think I could face students while worrying about him.
I can imagine the difficulties that this will cause having not had an opportunity to give longer notice. The college will have to get part-time suitable cover and in the meantime, my poor overburdened colleagues will have to step in. And my students – the start of this new academic year has just got underway and students are adjusting to their new curriculum. Dropping them like this, just as they are getting going, will cause some problems, especially to those in my lowest level group. As well as being a course leader I’m also a ‘group tutor’ which means that I’m responsible for pastoral care for that particular group. Basically, this means I keep a close eye on their attendance and watch out for anything that may be hindering their progress e.g. bullying or family problems. It often means ringing their home and speaking to a worried Mum. Unless HR appoint someone who takes this part of the job seriously, my group’s PIs (performance indicators i.e. attendance figures, drop out rate, achievement of qualification, high grades etc)– will plummet. In my previous life as a Department Head, I know that this is really the only thing College Managers care about, other than funding. These ‘PIs’ inform league tables and future student intakes which all come down to ££££s. I so much more enjoy being at the coal face, actually teaching students and from time to time, have congratulated myself for stepping away from management by taking this job of teaching Art and Design at my local 6th form college.
Right now these college concerns seem surprisingly unimportant. I’m pleased when I get a prompt return email from HR telling me that my job remains open and wishing me and OH well – just to keep them informed. I don’t feel like having to respond to umpteen phone calls from family and friends, so I also send a group email to them saying that I will keep them informed as to OH’s progress by group email. Funny how things of seeming major importance suddenly recede when there is a different priority.
Our villa! I realize that not only have I not received any recent photos from L, but this is the first time I’ve thought of it for days! From today’s perspective, maybe the whole enterprise was a stupendous, ridiculous mistake. Maybe it was a way of not facing up to the immediate challenge – for both of us. Right now, as with College, I don’t care. Let them get on with the building – or not – I’ll think about it later.
OH remains motionless.
The monitors continue to whir and click and flash their patterns.
We, his closest loved ones, hover by his bed, two at a time – looking and praying for a sign of consciousness.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
ArtyMar & OH....thinking of you and your family...
Hope you had a good flight back yesterday... We bought the sunshine back to UK....maybe for 1 day!! Roll on next Blog Thursday....
-
Be4 he finally died aged just 47 my husband was in hospital for 7 weeks after a stem sell transplant, we waited every day for his platelet results which stayed stubbornly at zero, the day after his counts showed signs of a slight recovery he contracted mrsa, your story reminded me of my own but in your case I know the outcome was positive I have relived your time watching your husband in intensive care in my case it was over Christmas and I sat by his bed watching his life ebb away. I feel for what you went through xx
-
ArtyMar & OH....thinking of you and your family...
Hope you had a good flight back yesterday... We bought the sunshine back to UK....maybe for 1 day!! Roll on next Blog Thursday....
??? :o
-
Echogirl1, thank you. Your story is tragic - to pass away so young, and just when there were seeds of hope, it must have been heartbreaking. So sorry to hear this. I don't want to think that my blog is giving you more heart ache. It will lighten up (hopefully) - it seems to follow its own course. xx
-
October 2010 London
BLOG 38: a waiting game
In a funny kind of way, we’re getting used to the situation, getting into a kind of routine. My whole day is spent at the hospital, in and out of the family waiting room together with my daughter – my sons have had to return to work. Daughter is a great support. We hold hands just before we go to visit OH’s bedside; we are used to the routine of walking up the corridor, washing hands at the sink, donning our plastic aprons, approaching the bed and getting the nod from the IT nurse that it’s ok to go close. They are gradually reducing the oxygen supply when it seems warranted to encourage him to breathe on his own. This is a good sign. I understand better how the blonde woman, Mavis is her name, in the waiting room feels about the signs relating to her Dad. Daughter and I are buoyant though Daughter warns me that we’ll only know more when he regains consciousness. When will that be? He has undergone so much. Are his kidneys permanently damaged? What about brain damage – a real possibility after the prolonged surgeries with attendant long anaesthetics and massive blood loss. Daughter should know a lot about this. Her field of research is the brain and how it processes language – in this, she is a leader in the field. But she can’t answer these big questions. Only OH will have the answers, when he wakes up and can respond.
He lies there, on his high bed – still as a stone, attached to tubes and monitors.
I whisper in his ear: “Darling OH, wake up now! We need you!”
The nurse passes by to check on the equipment. I say to her, hopefully without despair in my voice: “Do you think he can hear us?”
She is sweet, a young Chinese woman with a ready smile. “I don’t know, but it is possible. When someone is unconscious, hearing is the most likely sense to remain active. Talk to him. It does no harm.”
Until now, I have been stroking him, planting kisses on his forehead (his mouth has a breathing tube stuck inside). What shall I say to him – lying there, so still? We should make the most of our time with him and this gives us a new purpose. Daughter and I discuss it – I think what we say should be meaningful. Daughter says, yes and no. What we say to him should be designed to provoke him into consciousness or remind him of important events in the past. Hmmm. Provoke. OH is very keen on current affairs and politics. Some politicians he admires and some, he positively dislikes. So let’s start with those he dislikes. That should provoke him! I tell Daughter their names and we take turns in reciting them to him together with snippets we gather from newspapers left in the waiting room. We watch carefully for any response. None. If OH can hear, he must think we’ve gone mad.
How about singing to him, suggests Daughter. I laugh. Well, my singing should provoke a response, that’s for sure. I’m tone deaf and whenever I sing when amongst my musical family, one or more will join in to correct me. Particularly OH. He’ll say “repeat after me” and sing the first line of a song, then the first note. I’ll try manfully (or womanfully) and it will come out flat. Then with much patient repetition and trial, I might finally get the note right but the cheer of triumph will be short lived, because the next time, I’ll again sing flat – somewhat disheartening for any teacher. My singing is the subject of a (well meaning) family joke. So, I’ll sing to him, but what song? It must be a song that has some special significance for us. I know! I’ll sing the song he sang for me when I was in labour with our daughter, an amusing song from his childhood in South Africa. He’ll remember it for sure. It’s about a little boy nagging his father to be taken to the cinema (called Bioscope in South Africa) and (sung with a thick Afrikaans accent):
“Ach, pleez Daddy, won’t you take us to the Bioscope, all six seven of us, eight, nine, ten.
There’s gonna be a flic about Tarzan (pronounced Torzan) and the Apeman,
And when the show is over you can take us back again.
(Chorus: )
Popcorn, lollypops, peanuts and bubble gum
Icecream, candyfloss and Eskimo Pie,
We wanna see a flic about Torzan and the Ape Man (pause)
And when the show is over, you can bring us back again!”
I sing it, tunefully or not, I can’t tell, but judging from the odd grimace on Daughter’s face, probably not.
No response from OH, sadly. Daughter says to keep trying, so we do so until our time at bedside is up.
We return dutifully to the family room, throwing our aprons into the bin as we go.
On the way, we pass King-of-the-Jungle, no longer in his jungle gear. He gives us a mournful smile. I don’t smile back. That man irritates me.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
So poignant.
-
October 2010 London
BLOG 39: Can you hear us?
Lately, in our visits to the bedside, Daughter and I have been taking it in turns, so OH gets more of our time. I’m in the family room, listlessly reading a book when I hear Daughter flying back down the corridor towards me, tearing off her apron. “Quickly! Come quickly, I got a response!” I throw my hospital paperback down and we rush back to the bedside, pausing to wash hands and don aprons as we go. “What happened?” I ask breathlessly. Daughter says, she was whispering in his ear, and holding his hand. She said: “if you can hear me, Dad, squeeze my hand”. She said she then felt a slight pressure on her hand. “Are you sure?” I ask as we enter the ward. “Yes! Yes!”
This time, at the bedside, she repeats what she said previously, and I hold his hand. “Dad, Mum is holding your hand. If you can hear my voice, squeeze her hand!”. All my senses are alert for any response, but I can’t feel anything. Maybe, King-of-the-Jungle is right: we are kidding ourselves that we see or feel a response due to wishful thinking and projection. I feel desperately let down. We try again. Still no response. Daughter, ever resourceful, says “let’s try something different. Maybe the hand squeezing is too difficult for him. . .”
She bends close to his ear and says: “Dad, it’s G here, your daughter! I’ve come to see you from America. If you can hear me, squeeze your EYES. “
We both fix our eyes on his, closed for so long. There is a flicker! We both see it! A definite flicker or slight movement of his eyelids. We can hardly suppress our excitement. I see King-of-the-Jungle passing by on his rounds and fly out of the ward to tell him – my voice overloud and triumphant. “Look, we got a response!” He moves with me to the bedside and we do a repeat performance. Again, there is that slight flicker. We both turn to him, eager for his confirmation. He shakes his head mournfully and says again it is very common for a patient in a coma to give the occasional twitch. It means nothing. We should not raise our hopes because of this. He continues mournfully on his way.
Daughter and I look at each other. Daughter puts her arm around me. “Mum, we both know what we saw. He didn’t do this yesterday. It was definitely in response to what I said. “ Yes, she’s right and King-of-the-Jungle, is wrong. But we need something a bit more definite. This time, Daughter whispers in his ear: “Dad, if you can hear this, squeeze your eyes TWICE”. We wait, staring intently at OH’s eyes. Flicker (once) and . . . flicker again (two flickers!). Yes! Not once, but twice! We both saw it. No mistaking it this time. We dance up and down on the spot, causing the ITU nurse to come running. “Look!” we tell her joyfully, ”Look! He’s responding!” That’s very good news, she agrees, but our bedside time is up, so we return to the waiting room, uplifted, the first time in ages.
We can’t wait to phone the good news to the boys, and tell the family.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Can't imagine how that felt for you both. :) :'( :)
-
ArtyMar...you owe me a box of tissues!! Great blog.....Amazing....
-
cant wait for more xx
-
Thank you so much, Echogirl1, Gillian, Menthol, Bluwise for your encouraging comments. Gillian, when we next meet up at The Angel Bar, I'll come armed with those tissues!
-
you owe me a box as well :)
-
Oh No!!! ArtyMar...I hope it's buy one get one free!!! Ha! Ha! .x if not SteveJ you can share mine....
-
:) I'll bring along a truckload, don't worry!
-
October 2010 London
BLOG 40: Good signs
Now there’s no doubt about it. He’s responding, and more clearly. Even King-of-the-Jungle agrees. OH is not opening his eyes, but the squeezes are much more obvious. Hurray! I send out a group email to wider family and friends and get a deluge of responses. The waiting game goes on, but we’re excited and optimistic. I know that OH can hear us and that he is willing himself to return to us. That’s all I need. I feel sure that his other senses and functions will return – however long that takes.
He’s now been in the ITU for 6 days. When the team considers he has recovered sufficiently, he’ll be moved to an intermediate critical care ward before being moved into the general ward. We just have to remain positive and be patient, not so easy to achieve. Strange to think that the merest squeeze of an eye can bring such euphoria, but it means so much. Not only that he can hear, but his brain is functioning well enough to be able to follow an instruction, despite the onslaught of surgery to his body.
My dear optimistic friend, King-of-the-Jungle, again cautions against being over optimistic – he says OH is far from being out of the woods. They don’t yet know just how well his brain is functioning, never mind his kidneys. Also the longer he is unable to walk, the weaker his leg muscles will become. King-of-the-Jungle is a prophet of doom alright. Maybe working in an environment where a number of patients die causes him to be the way he is. Maybe in the past he gave patients’ families false hope and when the worst happened, they turned on him. Who knows? At any rate, I feel certain that OH has turned a corner and will continue to make progress. He is now largely breathing on his own, another good sign. We absolutely refuse to be downhearted. I even find myself thinking momentarily of our villa being built slowly but surely in far away Fethiye. I wonder how it’s getting along having received no photos for a while. Maybe the lack of photos is because I’m no longer emailing L constantly – pushing, pushing, pushing for news. Maybe it’s because the weather is bad there and little building is going on, perhaps the true reason. Anyway, I dismiss these thoughts almost as soon as they surface. When OH is better, I’ll have time to attend to other matters. For the moment, it’s his progress that is important, not that of the villa.
If OH continues this progress, we tell ourselves, he’ll soon make it to the next stage, and be out of the ITU!
Sadly, we hear that Mavis’s Dad has passed away. It seems she, herself has severe OCD and lives at the hospital in the mental health ward. The young guy on the other side of the curtain is still in a coma.
OH, though, is improving!
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Another great post, good news at last x
-
Stay strong! Stay positive!! R & G....x x
-
October 2010 London
BLOG 41: The Miracle Man
After the excitement of finally seeing some progress for the better, reality (King-of-the-Jungle-style) sets in.
It will be a long, slow haul. OH is now out of the ITU and is finally in the general surgical ward in this specialist hospital. The NHS is never perfect but nevertheless is a wonderful institution, no doubt about it. He is receiving excellent care – but he is unbelievably weak. He’s off the oxygen, no longer needs a breathing tube or dialysis, and his kidneys, though weakened have not been permanently damaged. As to brain damage, if any, too early to tell as he is too weak to speak more than a word or two. He still has a number of tubes coming out of various part of his body and due to the numerous operational procedures (opening and reopening and closing the abdomen) he has been left with a large incisional hernia i.e. there is no longer a functioning muscular wall to the abdomen to hold the organs in that region in place, so when he is eventually able to stand up, he’ll look like a pregnant man in the final months! His previous surgery (before this massive operation) had left him with a relatively small incisional hernia due to the decision to use a mesh rather than stitches – which was a new procedure at the time. Unfortunately, the mesh broke before leaving hospital and another operation to fix that small hernia was unwarranted. Before this op, we had hoped that , as an incidental part of the surgery, the hernia bulge caused earlier could be eliminated. Now, that hope has been dashed and he has been left with a much bigger hernia! He is unaware of this, of course, but it is a tiny price to pay for being alive.
Daughter is still with me. She has put her family and work life on hold in the US and comes with me every day to the hospital. Sons and other family come in the evenings and weekends whenever they can. Our lives have narrowed down to the routine of hospital/home/hospital/home.
I’m in the ward. Daughter has gone to get us some coffee. The prof sweeps in with junior doctors and medical students in tow, like royalty accompanied by his courtiers. He pulls the curtain around the bed and I offer to go but he waves this aside. He addresses his courtiers: “and now I’d like to introduce you to the Miracle Man!” He then goes on to tell them of all the difficulties, trials and tribulations he had in OH’s operation and I can tell from the admiring looks on their faces, that they think that he, not OH is really the miracle man. There’s no mention of the Aussie doctor or other members of the team at all.
The nurses are trying to get OH to sit up but this is both too painful and exhausting, even though he is supplied with a special battery device with an inflatable cushion under his bottom to make it easier. The latest medical research, it seems, shows that no matter how major the operation, patients must get out of bed soon after the op, even if that is just sitting on a chair next to the bed. Easier said than done. OH is so weak that even when he is heaved out of bed, with all his tubes and drains and special seat, he just flops sideways over onto the adjacent bed. As to standing, never mind walking or talking, that seems a distant goal. The physios, a cheery team of two, a man and a woman, visit the ward every morning and afternoon. They valiantly try to get OH to sit and give him encouraging words, but to no avail. He flops back down again, sideways onto the bed. When they go, we carry on, urging him to try to sit up for a few minutes. He murmurs “tired – bed” and flops right back down.
“Come on, Dad. You can do it. Just sit up straight while I count to three” says Daughter and begins to count “One . . . two. . .” Flop. We straighten him up, he’s like a rag doll, a pregnant rag doll (with his new incisional hernia). “One . . . two. . .” Flop. “Tired – bed”. So, after about 10 more minutes looking at him flopped sideways onto the bed, we call for the nurses to help him back. He is fast asleep within a minute.
Food is an even bigger problem. He’s too exhausted to eat, so he’s mainly being given special fortified milk based drinks to drink through a straw. Ha! Not so straight forward either. 1) he needs to sit up a bit to drink 2) he’ll only bother when the drink is lifted to his lips and strongly urged to drink and 3) he only tolerates two of the six varieties available: banana and strawberry. Doesn’t like vanilla, chocolate or worst of all, the apple flavor. Luckily, this ward lets relatives in throughout the day, though there is a sign on the door saying that there is no visiting allowed during the two hours when lunch is taken round to patients. That is just the time when relatives are most needed! If we weren’t there, OH would neither eat nor drink. Evidently, others feel the same, as during the lunch period, many patients have relatives at their bedside – with a number consuming home-brought meals. There’s a strong smell of curry and I don’t believe that the catering team serve curry at every meal! Anyway, this rule is obviously relaxed due to the benefits that relatives obviously bring to the hard-working nurses and auxiliaries, particularly at meal times. It doesn’t bear thinking of as to the fate of some other patients who don’t have the benefit of relatives at their bedsides during meal times.
OH is losing weight. The nutritionist comes to the bedside during one lunch period. She looks sternly at OH, lying comatose in bed after the effort of trying to sit up. We, Daughter and I, have been trying to get him to drink his ‘lunch’. “Not good enough!” says the nutritionist, turning to OH. “You need CALORIES. CALORIES! CALORIES – to heal the surgery”. She adds an item to his daily diet sheet: the list of drinks and soft food that he doesn’t much touch. The item is a small carton of double cream to be had with every meal. OH finds eating solids too tiring but he used to like the occasional jelly. Maybe if I bring that, we can add the double cream to it as an easy-to-eat dessert. The other thing he likes is my sister-in-law’s homemade chicken soup so when she comes she’s always armed with plenty which we label with his name and keep in the hospital ward fridge. I doubt it has too many calories though, even if it is nutritious.
If he doesn’t begin to gain weight soon, we’ve been warned that they’ll have to feed him by tube, another onslaught which we feel will be a retrograde step.
Come on, OH! Eat! Drink! Sit up! You can do it!
Oh, yes, and while we’re about it – you have to stand up and walk, too!
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
So even thogh I am leaving work a little early today for a Year 10 parent'e evening (yikes) and am meant to work through thought I would just check into the forum and then remembered I had not checked your blog for a few weeks so just had a maor catch up.
Your writing so captures all the drama, love, stress and all other emotions that you have all gone through. Is it bad to say I cannot wait for the next instalment? Barbara xxx
-
babcc! It is absolutely not bad to say you can't wait for the next instalment! I love receiving feedback - makes the writing and reliving so much more fun. I regularly check my hits (now up to 16,125) and get a kick out of the fact that people are actually reading all my stuff - never mind whether they like it or not. It's great to have fans! ;)
-
I am a definite fan of your writing Arty - love it!!
-
Though I am not a big reader I cant even be bothered with news papers (most full of cr*p) this has got me riveted short enough to keep me interested written with great thought and simplicity please keep them coming, you should right short stories I think you have plenty of material
-
We could start a "Fans of Arty" group and get some Tshirts printed with FARTYS on the front :)
-
I think not!!
-
Come on Echogirl. Could you not imagine that slogan spread across your chest? ;) :) ;D
-
??? hmmm - not sure what I think about that!
-
Another great blog ArtyMar......
-
OMG I've just read all 27 pages of postings, very moving. I can't wait to hear how your OH has recovered and the outcome of your villa? How long will I have to wait?
-
Well, JambeckGill, that's the big question! The saga is on-going, so I guess the answer is when either you or I get bored with writing or reading. . .
-
Early November 2010 London
BLOG 42: Raiders of the lost food
OH has always been a battler – unafraid, never one to hang back from joining the fray for a cause he believes in. Now though, after winning the battle to stay alive, the fight seems to have gone out of him. He doesn’t want to sit up – never mind stand up. He doesn’t really seem to want to eat/drink either. The only time he shows some fight is when we try to give him a flavor of the fortified milk that he positively dislikes. He only has to smell it to turn his head away. Obviously, we try our best to only give him the flavours he likes but despite this being on his notes with all drinks labeled with his name - sometimes, for some inexplicable reason, the favoured flavor drinks just aren’t there when the trolley comes round. What? An apple flavoured drink labeled with OH’s name? Oh no! Surely not again! This time, I go storming off to the ward sister to complain. She shrugs and says “Well, there were no strawberry or banana flavours sent to us – maybe they were distributed to other wards or haven’t reached us yet. “
Not good enough. I’m a battler, too – and everything is fair in love and war – and right now, it is both love and war. Love for OH, and war on anyone taking his special food/drink. Armed with labels and felt tip pen, I go to every fridge in the wards where patients’ food is stored. Lo and behold I find a carton of strawberry with a label torn off and another one stuck on with someone else’s name put on. With grim determination, I rip off the false label and take the carton out and give it to OH so he can have his rightful ‘lunch’ – all he will tolerate. Again I march off to see the ward sister. Who is taking OH’s rightful food? She looks at me as if I’m mad but I don’t want to admit that I’ve been raiding patients’ fridges – even if I do feel that his original food was taken, so I feel more than a bit foolish. How can I ensure that he always gets his designated flavours I ask? Her short answer is that it can’t be guaranteed but they ‘always do their best’. I grit my teeth and determine to look into other ways around this ridiculous problem.
The next day, I go to my local pharmacy and explain the situation. The chemist then makes up a mixture for me that can be mixed with milk by the hospital kitchen staff or nurses to make up if necessary.
When I present the container to the ward sister and yet again, tell her what the nutritionist and doctors said about “calories, calories”, she nods in a resigned sort of way, making it clear that she considers me a pain in the neck, but hey, what do I care – as long as OH gets his food. At least she knows I mean business.
OH may not yet be quite up to the battle, but ArtyMar is!
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Early November 2010 London
BLOG 43: the Big Question
We’ve heard it many times with regard to OH’s recovery: regard it as a marathon, not a race i.e Miracle Man he may be, but recovering from this operation will take months, not weeks. He has already been in hospital for over a month. I allow myself a fleeting thought which I try to suppress before it has barely surfaced and that is: will I ever get back the OH I had before the op?
On his next round, I ask the big question to the Prof who replies:
“He’s improving every day. He’s undergone a very major operation and it could take several months. . .” I try to pin him down – what does “several months” mean? Less than a year? Will he be back to pre-op condition, say – after six or seven months?” I know these are almost unanswerable questions but I feel a need to ask them. The Prof , never a great communicator, doesn’t answer of course – just screws up his face so I’m none the wiser. I suppose every case is different and it’s impossible to predict any patient’s rate of recovery.
In the meantime, here comes the Physio team.
“Hello, OH!” they say cheerily. “Are you ready for your walk this morning?” (as if he has a morning constitutional every day). OH is ‘sitting’ or should I say ‘flopping’ next to his bed. He’s strong enough to say “NO” firmly.
They try once more:
“OH, it is important that you walk – even stand up. We’ll help you.”
“NO!” says OH.
I turn to Daughter who looks as concerned as I do: “What shall we do?”
The physios have not lingered; they have moved away to help other patients who accept their offers as a part of the hospital routine. Daughter turns to OH:
“Dad, you have to try a bit harder. If you don’t stand up and take a step or two, you may never walk again. “ We both know that this is no idle threat.
OH remains flopped sideways onto his bed, eyes closed. Daughter persists:
“Dad, do you want to be permanently in a wheel chair?”
He opens his eyes, briefly and looks at her. “No” he says but I wonder if he means: ‘No. I won’t sit up. No, I won’t stand up. No. I won’t do as I am told!’
Daughter, herself a doctor (but her ward rounds are behind her now – she is now on the research side of medical science) turns to a nurse nearby.
She whispers to the nurse: “can you tell him that whether he wants to or not, he must stand up for a few seconds - with help. Say that the doctors insist!”
The poor nurse looks shocked: “No, I can’t tell him that. I can’t force him!”
Daughter is as determined as her Mum. Somehow, we must find a way to help OH to help himself or the consequences will be dire.
But how?
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Mid November 2010 London
BLOG 44: No!
It’s visiting hours in the early evening. Our boys are here with us. They too, are worried at OH’s lack of response. He seems too exhausted to do anything at all, even eat – though he is now managing a little better in this regard, as we give him fortified strawberry milk drinks, ice-cream, jelly, double cream, rich rice pudding with extra jam and cream (courtesy of the nutritionist) – hardly what you would call healthy in today’s terms but at least it’s giving him the calories he needs. It seems the swallowing and chewing is too much effort but he won’t tolerate mashed potatoes or other mashed vegetables, never mind meat or fish.
Is this apathy totally physical we are asking ourselves.
Older Son voices what we are beginning to think:
“It’s almost as if he has given up.”
Daughter looks thoughtful:
“He needs a change of scene, that’s for sure. Lying in this bed day after day is bad for his morale.”
I’m a little doubtful. I’m wondering if the he’s just knocked out by the physical onslaught of the op and needs more recovery time before attempting what we’re asking. Daughter, however, has other ideas. Sons agree. We have to resurrect his fighting spirit.
We commandeer a wheel chair. OH is heading out of this ward!
With the help of three nurses, one male and two females, we hoist OH out of his chair and onto the wheel chair, complete with his special inflatable cushion, drains and tubes. OH is still saying “NO!” as we push the wheelchair out of the ward and down the corridor. We wave cheerily to the various nurses and medical staff as we go. We’re off to Costa Coffee, which has an in-hospital branch on the same floor. Not far, in terms of distance, but a world away from the enclosed curtained wall of the ward.
For the first time in weeks, OH lifts his head from his chest and looks around as the wards whizz by.
“No!” he says.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
ArtyMar....Costa Coffee!!!! We were going to say what OH was thinking....Not at that price.... But then changed our minds and said Yes OH can have any thing at any price.... Can't wait for Thursdays blog....
-
Mid November 2010 London
BLOG 45: new tactics
Is OH enjoying his first expedition out of the ward? I can’t say, but we feel a sense of triumph as we career along the corridor and into the more ‘normal’ world of Costa. We receive sympathetic glances from other customers as they make space for OH’s wheelchair and us around a table. OH is oblivious and keeps his head down, eyes closed. He looks worn out and doesn’t respond to our encouraging words. We agree though, that we must do this on every visit, that it is important for his rehabilitation. And on this subject, we have a family discussion. Our biggest concern: is OH ‘giving up’? Is he losing the will to get better?
“He just looks so miserable!” says younger son sadly.
“Yes,” says Daughter thoughtfully. “I have an idea. I think he could well be depressed. I’m going to talk to the Hospital Psychiatrist.”
“You can’t just demand that”, I smile – you’ve forgotten what the NHS is like – you’ve lived so long in the US.”
“Watch me!” she says.
After our coffees (OH manages one of his strawberry milk drinks), we go back to the ward. On the way, Daughter marches up to the nurses’ station and before we disappear into OH’s ward, we see her earnestly talking to one of the junior doctors at the station and then using the nurses’ phone.
A few minutes later she bounces back to us, gathered round OH’s bed where he is now lying peacefully. We can see how glad he is to be there! Daughter is grinning: “You’ll never guess! The hospital psychiatrist is a friend of mine, Sarah – we trained together at the Maudsley! She’s coming round shortly to see Dad and give us her opinion!” Small world.
Personally, I still believe that it’s all physical, that poor OH has received such a body battering that only time will heal. Daughter, though, has other ideas. “You may well be right, “ she says, “but we’ll give Nature a helping hand”.
……
It’s lovely to see Daughter and the hospital’s psychiatrist hug each other and catch up briefly on each other’s news. It’s still somewhat of a wonder to me that our children have grown up and have reached positions of eminence in their own fields. As I look at Daughter and Sons, I can see them as babies, toddlers and school children, dressed for the first time in their school uniforms. Look at them now. .
Daughter and Sarah agree that OH might benefit from antidepressants. He will be monitored closely to see if there is a positive effect in his mood that may then relay into his recovery from surgery.
My deepest fears go beyond physical recovery and depression. Because of OH’s lack of response to our questions, we haven’t really been able to gauge his mental capacity since the operation. Have the prolonged and repeated anaesthetics, or lack of oxygen caused by the catastrophic blood loss damaged his brain? Perhaps we’ll be in a better position to know this once he is able or willing to respond. The antidepressants should surely help in this respect.
People keep telling me to be patient, that ‘time will tell’ – but how much time? And what will it tell?
..................................
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Beautifully written yet again. Thanks so much.
-
Late November 2010 London
BLOG 46: turning a corner
0H is standing up. Yes! And he did it when we asked! “Now you have to walk!” Older Son is saying. “Come on, just one step! You can do it, Dad!”
We are standing next to his bed with the curtain pulled back so he has room to walk. 0H is leaning on his walking frame. We are grouped around him like spectators at a football match urging on the team.
“Just a few more steps - come on Dad”, cries Younger Son.
0H takes two more tentative steps while we hold our breath. A couple of nurses nearby turn in our direction with approving looks. One of them smiles (she’s my favourite). Well, what do you know! Finally, he is turning a corner– but not the corner up to the end of the bed. That’s a step too far. “Just one more step”, we urge. But 0H has had enough.
“Bed” he mutters and lurches towards the bed. We are jubilant, nevertheless. 0H sinks into the bed eyes closed. We congratulate him and tell him he is the cleverest, strongest, most wonderful man in the world. It feels as this as if he has climbed a mountain and in a sense, he has.
While 0H recovers from the effort, we go down to the cafeteria and have a family conference. Daughter says she must return soon to her home in the States. She looks at me: “Will you be okay, Mum?” Right now, my worries about 0H’s mental and physical capacity have receded a little. Funny how seeing him just taking a few steps clutching a walking frame has had such an amazing effect on me. I just know he will now progress. The boys look a bit affronted. “We’re here, you know.”
“Please”, I laugh and it feels great to laugh again, “don’t quarrel about who’ll look after me. Let’s concentrate for the moment on looking after Dad.” That said, I know it won’t be the same when Daughter is gone. She has been able to be with me every day while the boys have not, due to their own jobs and family, plus the distance to the hospital. Why do families sometimes have to live in different countries? Momentarily, it strikes me that I, myself didn’t think much about my own parents when I struck out for pastures new – so long ago, leaving Australia to come to England. For a moment I think about all those expats living in Turkey, leaving their families behind in the UK. Do many secretly regret their decision, or like me, are they happily settled into their new lives? That brings to mind our villa being built in far away Fethiye.
But is it being built? I haven’t heard a word from Laura. All my emails have been from family and friends asking about OH. All my energy has been centred on OH. Looks like I’ll soon have to take other matters on board. I’m not ready for more battles and my heart sinks.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
………..
-
I had completely forgotten about the Villa :o
-
Early December 2010 London
BLOG 47: transformation
Finally, OH is making strides – literally. The drains (sounds horrible) have been removed and he’s no longer attached to drips. He’s able to sit up by the bedside for extended periods and best of all, he’s able to walk the length of the ward leaning on his walking frame. With Older Son cheering him on and shooting the scene with his iPhone, OH even walks right out of the ward past the nurses’ station in the corridor. They too cheer him on. He has a look of grim determination on his face, more like the OH of old. Hurray! I’m getting my OH back – at last. I wonder when he’ll be well enough to come and stay in our new villa in Turkey – now wouldn’t that be a lovely place to recuperate? I imagine him lying down in the sun under the shade of an umbrella by the poolside while I waft by with a tray of cool drinks and Turkish Delight (well, maybe not Turkish Delight – too sticky in the sun). But I’m jumping ahead of myself. And anyway, the villa is still far from finished, a matter to be dealt with later. Let’s get him home from hospital first.
The time is fast approaching for Daughter to go back to her own home. It will be so hard to cope once she is gone but she has one last gift for me . “Mum”, she says “I’d like to do something for you - before I go. Perhaps there’s something I can help you with at home. You know I’m not exactly a good housekeeper but I’m good at organizing things. I thought maybe I could help you clear out some cupboards or something like that”.
Well! This is something that both intrigues me and delights me. I think hard. And then, I have it! For years I’ve been moaning at OH about the chaotic state of his study. I know exactly what I’d like to be done. I would like to have OH return from hospital to a model study with everything clearly labeled and neatly at hand rather than having piles of files, boxes of biros and non-working clocks and torches, old magazines and newspapers mounting up in every corner of floor and shelf space. How I’d love to throw out all that rubbish he’s been accumulating over the years; I’m sure he doesn’t even know what’s there.
When I’ve suggested that he tackle this job in the past, his response has been: “not now – I’m too busy and anyway, I know where everything is-” and the mess continues to accumulate. He finds it hard to throw things away on the premise that “I might need it later”. I’m sure I’ve mentioned before that 0H is a hoarder, or if I haven’t, I’ve been too kind, and called him a ‘collector’. Suddenly, I see an opportunity to transform his study so that when he returns he would find an area where he could work productively instead of always having to clear a space on his desk before he can even write a letter.
I voice these thoughts to Daughter. “Let’s do it!” she says. “We’ll start tonight. Maybe I can also help you clear out other things you’ve been talking about - things you say you never use.” All right, I say somewhat hesitantly. Obviously she’s noticed that 0H’s study is not the only area that could do with a clear-out. But this is an offer I certainly can’t refuse. We briefly contemplate OH’s reaction to a transformed study. “Will he be cross?” asks Daughter. “Nah” I reply “he’ll be grateful!” while thinking: he’ll either be extremely happy or extremely angry. Let’s hope it’s the former.
Now Daughter sets about the clearance task with scientific methodology. She goes online and orders a load of cardboard removal boxes in various sizes – to be delivered the next day. You’d think we’re moving house – she must think we are storing an awful lot of stuff we don’t need. She’s right!
We begin! Heaven knows what OH will say when he comes home.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Wow. Would have loved to be there with you Arty. I am an extreme minimalist. If it isn't being used, it goes straight to the charity shop. Burnt my fingures today though. Searched high and low for the travel iron to take to NZ. Can't find it anywhere. No good looking in the loft, only 2 suit cases in there. All the cupboards are tidy with hardly anything in. Just nipping to Argos to buy another one! ;) ;D
-
Sadler, is your OH of the same mind i.e. minimalist? If so, lucky you! Your house must be a dream - and so easy to clean. I have the wish to be minimalist but not always the willpower!
-
He didn't use to be Arty, but I have worn him down! As he is the one who does the trips to the charity shops or the dump, he tries to keep those to a minimum now. I get very claustrophobic if there is "clutter" around. I hate shopping too, so consider him a very lucky man! ;D ;D ;D ;) ;) ;)
-
Well done! You're both lucky! ;)
-
Yes, but Arty, we live in a huge empty barn! Would you and your friends like to come over for a barn dance? ;D ;) ;D ;)
-
I'm getting out my dancing shoes now! OH says, maybe not. .
-
Please come over.we cater for all tastes!
-
Early December 2010 London
BLOG 48: next
Now that OH is able to walk a short distance (admittedly with the aid of a zimmer frame) and able to eat proper food, I am beginning to contemplate the idea of him coming home. And I’m scared. I’ve got into such a routine of visiting hospital for a good part of every day, followed by the half-hour drive home, followed by a make-shift meal with Daughter (we’ve tended to eat at the hospital restaurant), followed by a bit of light TV, followed by falling into bed, followed by the same routine the next day – the thought of reverting to a more ‘normal’ life style is daunting.
OH obviously requires so much looking after – how can I cope with this? Will I have to give up my job? I’m due to return at the start of term next year.
When the Prof does his ward round, he tells me with a happy smile: “OH is so much better. He should be coming home soon.”
“Yes”, I reply, “how long do you think it will be before he’s back to his ‘old self’? “ (what I mean is, when will he be able to walk more normally, to make himself a cup of tea, to drive, to carry on a sustained conversation?). But this is not the job of the doctor; he and the team have done their job. The rest?
Well, it seems as if that’s the job of social services, district nurses – and me.
But, hang on, Prof actually has a few more words to say: “it will be a long haul. A good 18 months, maybe two years, for the body to recover. He’s no youngster, it’s a bit of a miracle he’s come so far, that he’s come through such major surgery.” And then that old phrase, “Time will tell.”
Then I venture, “his mind. . .he’s unable to remember everyday things, names - people –“.
“The long and repeated anaesthetics sometime cause this.” he says in a matter-of-fact tone. “Give it time.”
Then I get a call from the matron of the ward. There’s pressure on beds, nearing Christmas. We discuss dates for OH to come home. “Oh, no, he can’t go directly from hospital to home”, she says in a shocked tone, “he could have a relapse. He must firstly go to Rehab.”
Rehab! I’ve always associated that word with drug or alcohol abuse – fortunately not the case with OH. The matron discusses the situation with other members of staff, including someone who deals with social services. There is a local rehab place but at the moment it is full. OH can’t leave hospital until a place becomes available there. In the meantime, older Son, Daughter and I go to have a look at it – not that we have much choice, it seems.
The good thing is that OH would have his own room and much more physiotherapy to help him improve his mobility. There are also other staff, occupational therapists, to help patients relearn everyday skills. So much better than hospital. Daughter says that there is a lot of evidence to show that proper professional rehab is essential to shortening the period of patient recovery from major surgery, but because of pressure of beds (and NHS costs), most patients receive insufficient rehab care. She urges me not to be in too much of a hurry to get OH home. She need not worry in this regard. Much as I want my precious OH home again, I recognize that I will need all the help I can get.
In the meantime, OH is stuck, as there are no beds available at any local rehab institution. OH is occupying a much needed hospital bed, but there’s nowhere else for him to go. I hear about ‘bed blockers’ in the NHS; now I have one in the family!
Daughter reluctantly says goodbye; she’s off home to Boston. Sons valiantly step up, but they have their own lives to lead. Other members of the family and close friends continue to give love and support but the harsh realities are beginning to hit home. So many unanswered questions. The first one is: when will OH be out of hospital and able to begin the next stage of recovery? If anyone says the words ‘time will tell’, I’ll strangle them!
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-----------------------
-
Thanks for this update Arty - I didn't think we would get one at such a busy time. Season's greetings to you and yours!
-
bed blocking ie lack of resources which means closing respite spaces no manager shortage in the nhs
-
A Very Happy Christmas to you and the OH. Look forward to New Year update x
-
Merry Christmas and a very Happy and Healthy New Year to you all! I'll keep on blogging this never-ending saga, if you keep on reading and encouraging me and my OH through your replies and comments. I love seeing that little blue 'NEW' sign when I log back in!
-
Arty keep it going. Love it. Xx
-
Keep on blogging Arty.
I do hope its not 'never ending' as I want to know the end.
If it was a book I would read the last few pages.
-
Bewva...It's Christmas...no peeking!!! You have to wait like the rest of us....Great blog Arty....See you next year!...x
-
Gillian, I just can't wait! Early June, all being well!
-
December 2010 London
BLOG 49: new steps
There’s a bed available in the rehab home! OH is taking the next big step to recovery! Onward and upward!
He’s now settled in his new bedroom and looking distinctly perkier. When the physios come round to take him on a walk around the corridors, there’s no saying “no”; they just smile and get him up anyway. It’s hard for him say no to such charming young women! There are rails along all walls to encourage patients to walk by themselves and a little ‘bridge’ with four steps up to a little platform and four steps down the other side to help patients practice climbing stairs, plus many other aids. The food is also a lot better than hospital. A few weeks here should do OH a lot of good: Doctor Daughter says that he needs a minimum of four weeks here followed by continued rehab at home.
I have to get used to the idea that I’m not really a practicing artist any more, nor an art teacher; my primary role will now be as a carer – at least for the foreseeable future. But when I think depressing thoughts, I remind myself that it could be much worse: better to have some of the old OH than no OH at all. And the fact is, I see small improvements day by day. For example, he’s now speaking a bit, admittedly in a croaky whispery voice, but words are words. Nobody can tell me why his voice is affected (“give it time!”) – it’s just one more thing I could worry about, so it’s also one more thing that I’ll worry about later, not now (I’m taking a leaf out of Scarlett O’Hara’s book). Same with the villa: no emails, no news, no photos. I give it a fleeting thought, but instinctively, I feel that L knows I have other things on my mind and that is giving her the excuse not to bother taking the short trip to Koca Calis to take photos to update me. My guess is that the villa is progressing but very slowly. One day soon, I think, I’ll send her a really nasty email about lack of communication, but right now, I haven’t the energy. Right now, I’m thinking about what to do about my return to College and how I’ll cope once OH comes home.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
...............
-
So relieved to hear that OH is making progress. Perhaps you can relax a bit now.
-
Thank you, Sadler!
-
And a big Thank You to all visitors to my blog and a Happy and Healthy New Year to you all!
With your help it won't be long before my hits hit 20,000! Wow!
-
Right back to you and yours Arty. Very well deserved hits. It is obvious that an huge amount of thought and work goes into your blog to keep us entertained every Thursday. Keep going. :) :) :)
-
I make this the 20,000th view of ArtyMar's blog.
Well done!!!
-
I make this the 20,000th view of ArtyMar's blog.
Yay!
-
BLOG 50: coming home
The good news is: OH will be home for Xmas! (family and friends will be here to welcome him home.)
The bad news is: OH will be home for Xmas! (this is sooner than I expected – I’m not ready. There’s so much more he needs to be able to do before coming home. Three weeks in rehab is just not enough. He needs more time. I need more time. Help!)
A week before Xmas, the occupational therapist visits our home to see if it is suitable for OH’s imminent return.
She looks at the staircase which has a lovely purple-silk rope looped on the left-hand wall, held in place by brass fastenings. There's no support on the right-hand wall. The stair carpet is green, the walls white. We’ve had the looped rope for ages and never thought twice about it except when it needed cleaning. It looks attractive and gives the entrance hall/stairs ‘character’.
“No – “ she says, pulling at it, “this will have to go”.
Seeing the surprised look on my face, she adds:
“You’ll need to take this down and replace it with proper banisters – on both sides”.
The artist in me gives an inner groan. The practical me gulps: I've only a week to get this done. Continuing upstairs, she looks at our bathroom: “he’ll have difficulty getting in and out of the bath – we’ll supply you with a bath seat – oh, and you’ll need to put a bath rail into the wall – that will help. A shower would be better. “
“OH prefers baths.” I say weakly, thinking – this is what being a ‘carer’ is all about.
She then looks thoughtfully at our bedroom, fairly narrow landing and the nearby stairs.
“He would be isolated upstairs if he sleeps in the bedroom. I think it’s too dangerous for him to attempt the stairs at the moment.”
“Even with the bannisters?” I ask.
“Even with the bannisters.” She replies firmly. “It would be best if you put a bed downstairs until he is stronger. That would encourage him to get up and walk around, and he’d be part of whatever is going on. He’ll need a frame for walking support until he’s stronger, of course.”
Of course.
So. Mad rush to get the bannisters put in, to transfer a bed from one of the bedrooms and install it in the rear lounge (glad that we have sufficient room downstairs for this - plenty of spare beds now that the children have moved out), and to clear out some downstairs cupboards to accommodate his clothes and toiletries. For the few months it seems we are entitled to local authority home support once a day to help him in the mornings or evenings. Thinking of my fairly imminent return to work (will this be possible?), I choose mornings.
OH is coming home!
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Wahooooo!!!! OH is coming home.... Keep blogging ArtyMar!!!!.....
-
Love your support and enthusiasm, Gillian! I'll keep blogging - some way to go!
-
What date are we at now Arty Xmas ?
-
Yes, Bewva, Xmas 2010! I'd better get a move on!
-
Great that he's coming home but I'm really nervous about it...... what on earth am I saying? That's how good your writing is ArtyMar - I'm feeling nervous ;D
-
Greetings from New Zealand Arty. Still enjoying your blog. :)
-
I can imagine how you must have felt, Arty. Phew.
-
Greetings from New Zealand Arty. Still enjoying your blog. :)
What are you doing on the other side of the world, Sadler - besides reading my blog, that is! Hope you're having a great time!
-
Yes thanks Arty having a brilliant if knackering time. On a Riviera tour of both islands for 22 days! Stayed over a couple of days in Singapore initially, was really surprised how lovely it all was. Leaving Aukland today and going north. Just need to get some shut eye in to make up for two nights travelling and lost to time changes! Your blog keeps my feet on the floor. 8) :) ;)
-
Wow! Lucky you, Sadler! On the way over from Oz to UK many moons ago, our ship stopped over in Wellington for 3 days but that's all I've seen of NZ. You'll have to post photos.
-
December 2010 London
BLOG 51: home again
The ribbons, bunting, balloons and decorations are out to welcome OH. He is wheeled down the path to the front door from the rehab ambulance (from now on, he’ll be transported in my own car – but for the moment, they want to make sure he arrives home in one piece!). I spot the lace curtain move in the house of one of our neighbours.
He’s smiling and croaks: “it’s nice to be home.” We, Older Son, Younger Son and I, escort him to his new ‘bedroom’ (rear lounge) and he looks mildly surprised.
“Do you want a tour of the house?” I joke. I’m thinking of the total clear-out/spring clean/re-order of his study undertaken by Daughter and I. What will be his reaction? He’s always insisted on no interference in his special domain i.e. leave it alone. To him: a personal space, to me: total chaos and mess: (he maintains ‘I know where everything is – don’t touch a thing!’ I maintain, he doesn’t know where things are: when he can’t find something, he buys another! I want to make it easy for him to find things.)
He looks puzzled. “No. I’m tired. Have a rest.” He glances toward his downstairs bed – no comment about its new location. He just wants to use it. He’s still very weak and only taking small steps with the aid of the walker. We walk very slowly toward the bed. On the other side of the rear lounge wall is his study, so I can’t resist steering him past the bed toward the door of the study. I’m dying to see his reaction to our splendid reorganization. As we pass the bed, a look of mild annoyance crosses his face and he tries to turn back: “Lie down.” he murmurs.
“Yes” I say, “in just a minute.“ We approach the study door and I open it. “Your new study!” I cry, keeping a tight hold on the walker frame – he might fall over in shock.
He peeps inside.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
aaarrrrgghhhh, you can't stop there!!!!!!!! :o
-
I hope he hates it, which would show a return of his old spirit!! I'm well into this!
-
Hope you've saved it all and a map of where each bit belongs... You may have to put it back.... I'll come & help!! Roll on next Thursday...
-
Late December 2010 London
BLOG 52: home again
OH looks around at the newly tidied and re-organised study. The random collection of books and knick-knacks previously cluttering the shelves, have been replaced with plastic boxes, neatly labeled with their contents. The floor is clean and cleared of piles of old magazines and catalogues. The desk is clear with regularly used items placed within easy reach.
We wait with bated breath.
“Yes” he murmurs, “Now I want to lie down.” And turns slowly back toward his bed.
Sons are close behind – they know of the efforts of Daughter and me to re-organise his study, and my concerns as to his reactions. We are stunned. Is this my OH?
Of course, I was hoping he’d be delighted to see his brand new, spick and span study – to finally realise what I’ve been on about over the years. Sons are smiling, barely able to conceal their mirth. I can’t believe it. He hasn’t even noticed! Maybe when he’s adjusted to being back home and recovered a bit more, he’ll at least notice some of the changes and hopefully be very glad of them (or be furious! – either way, it would be more like the OH of old). Anyway, I tell those smirking sons, I’m proud of what we’ve done: transformed chaos into such a nice, ordered little office. . . but also, I admit privately to myself, quite relieved that he hasn’t reacted badly. On further reflection, I'm not even sure of this - maybe any reaction, positive or negative, would have been better . . .
“How about a cup of tea?” I venture, “lovely home-made tea!” But it’s too late; he’s already lying down on the bed and his eyes are closed. We three sit down for a cuppa and gaze at OH who is already asleep on his downstairs bed. Older Son says, “at least you won’t be having to go into the hospital everyday, Mum!”
Now that he’s home and out of the hospital/rehab environment, I can see more clearly that there is a long way to go before I have the old OH back. Even so, I reassure myself, he’s come a mighty distance from being in Intensive Care, when we were concerned that he might never recover. The important thing, I tell myself, is to temper my expectations. I feel sure he’ll recover in his own good time. I remember one of the doctors telling me that they can’t tell whether the use of prolonged multiple anaesthetics will have had an adverse effect on the brain until at least six months afterwards. Mobility and other aspects will surely improve with physiotherapy, effort and exercise. I must be patient.
Another niggling concern is his voice – that whispery hoarse voice doesn’t sound at all like OH. It not only sounds like a very old man, but a very old man with laryngitis! My OH has always had a clear, strong speaking voice and, for that matter, a good singing voice (unlike me). This continuing hoarseness is making me even more sure that somehow his vocal chords have been damaged by the breathing apparatus given during his time in the ITU. When I have asked about this at the hospital, the doctors pooh-poohed the idea that any damage could have been done. I’m not so sure. After all, it’s now nearly three months since the operation.
Sons agree: as soon as possible I should make an appointment for OH to be seen by a specialist in ENT to have his throat examined. No sooner home, than I’m thinking of returning to the hospital. I’m so sick of hospitals. But. . . bearing in mind that gaining an appointment might take a while, I may as well get started. I reach for the phone. Here we go again -
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
………….
-
January 2011 London
BLOG 53: Settling in
Xmas comes and goes – very quietly, just family. I couldn’t have coped with more.
OH hasn’t been upstairs since coming home and has expressed no desire to do so. He has a loud-ringing bell by his bedside downstairs so that he can call me without straining his whispery voice. He may not be getting much exercise but I sure am, leaping about the house at the call of the bell. But sons are right: not having my day taken up with going to the hospital or the rehab place is a boon and the days seem longer.
It’s a bit like having a baby again (sorry, OH!) – listening out for him or the bell. Admittedly, I don’t change nappies. Instead, I change stoma bags but I’m getting to be quite expert. Unfortunately, because of the large incisional hernia causing a bulging stomach, even with time, OH will not be able to do this for himself, as he can’t see past the bulge. This is a shame, to put it mildly. I must admit, on more than one occasion in the beginning, when the changing was difficult, I was on the phone to the Stoma Nurse (yes, there are such nurses!) at the hospital, wailing “what am I doing wrong? The b….y bag keeps coming off!” Now, though – a piece of cake!
We’re getting into a routine, OH and me – a quieter routine than before the op, when I was working. I plan to return to work part-time, two days per week, and luckily this is fine with my college. I’m really looking forward to seeing students and colleagues again (never been one to stay at home for too long). Neighbours have been great; OH won’t be alone for very long as they’ll look in, plus the home carer from Social Services for an hour or so each day, plus Younger Son, who will adjust his hours and be home by 3 p.m. OH will also wear an alarm around his neck, directly connected to Social Services in case of a real emergency.
College is only a short drive away so I should be back by 5.30 p.m. OH has now reached the stage of getting up when he wants a cup of tea or a snack and fixing it for himself. The rehab unit has provided him with a walker that incorporates a tray on top with grooves for a cup and plate so food or drink won’t spill when he needs to move from kettle to table. It helps to make him more independent.
His voice hasn’t improved, though; it’s still thin and hoarse. We’ll find out more when we go to an appointment at the hospital in two weeks time. I’m convinced that his vocal chords were damaged when he was in the ITU – what else? Before his op, he spoke normally. And yet the doctors claim it cannot be so. Well, we’ll find out soon.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
That's real progress Arty. I can imagine your relief that he can actually make a drink and snack for himself at this point.
-
January 2011 London
BLOG 54 Ho! Ho! Ha! Hum!
We’re in the ENT department, back at the hospital. OH has swallowed a camera. Now that really would damage his voice! However, the camera he’s swallowed is tiny and at the end of a kind of wire. It’s all attached to a monitor so we can see inside his throat as he speaks. I’ve never seen inside someone’s throat before and the view of the vocal chords is not what I expected (after the doctor has explained what is being shown on the monitor). For a start, I think I somehow imagined ‘vocal chords’ as being just that – like a row of strings similar to what you might see on a violin or guitar – and when one speaks, I expected that these chords would go up and down. Not at all! The throat, as one would expect, is like a tunnel but surrounding it are sort of ‘flanges’ : bits of skin-like folds that move in and out when one speaks (they are the ‘vocal chords’), they narrow or widen the throat canal. It’s fascinating to watch the screen and relate it to the sounds being uttered by OH.
The screen shows that there is no damage whatsoever to these moving skin-folds, aka ‘vocal chords’ (sorry, doctors, for my suspicions of a cover-up of negligence)! What it does show, however, is that the throat canal is unusually constricted, caused by a kind of tension of the chords which appear to be permanently ‘on guard’. It is explained to us that OH (at least his vocal chords) are in a state of stress, so much so, that they can’t relax. This is what’s causing the hoarseness and whispery voice. It’s interesting to see how the body has reacted to the massive onslaught of the operation. It’s not just the parts that were cut, stitched and repaired – other parts that were theoretically unhurt, have reacted in a kind of protest. What can be done? You can’t just tell someone “It’s all ok now, the operation is over. You can relax those vocal chords now!”.
The answer is speech therapy. There are certain sounds that ‘open’ the chords i.e. the throat canal, and others that push them closer, narrowing the canal – this opening and closing affects the sounds made and the quality of the voice. When the doctor tells OH to take a deep breath and say “Ahh” (like the GP examining your throat when you have a throat infection), in effect, he is causing OH to open up his throat by relaxing some of the vocal chords. OH has to practice saying the open vowels starting with a breathy ‘h’. ‘Hho-o. Hhaa. Hhummm.’ He also has to hum, literally saying ‘Hummm’.
It’s not something that can be cured overnight it seems. OH’s throat has got used to being constricted and it may take several months of speech therapy to get those vocal chords back to their former relaxed state. More for OH (and me) to accomplish.
Fortunately a speech therapist from the hospital can come to the house – that will save me the difficult task of getting OH to and from the hospital. We make an appointment for her to come the following week. She has a familiar-sounding name that I can’t quite place. In the meantime, OH must practice saying “Ho, ho, ha, hummmm. I smell the blood of an Englishmannnn”. He must say this slowly, deeply and with as much ‘hhh’ as possible. Another suggested phrase for him is to act an on-the-beat copper and say, “Ho, ho, ho! What have we hhhere?” That should be fun. Beats our usual rather limited conversation since he’s been home!
I add speech therapy to our schedule of daily activities. Now what was that speech therapist’s name? (we didn’t meet her at the clinic – just the doctor and his assistant.) Nikki G . . . where have I heard that name before? I’m sure I don’t know any speech therapists . . .
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-------------
-
Add "detective" to your long list of roles, Arty. Very intriguing! :) ;)
-
Great post Arty... Reading this in the sunshine in Calis.... Next weeks will be read in the cold...UK!!!
-
Gillian, you are so lucky to be there! The worst thing though, about any holiday is the coming home - not just the miserable change in the weather, but catching up on mail and everyday tasks. Never mind, you'll be back again soon! And the first days of Spring with balmy sunshine here in UK are magical. Around here, blossom trees are already starting to bloom!
-
end January 2011 London
BLOG 55: I smell the blood. . .
We have a regular stream of traffic into the house. A professional carer from Social Services comes every morning but seems to spend most of her time writing up her notes rather than bathing and attending to OH. That said, I’m grateful for any help, even if the face of that help changes from day to day.
My immediate neighbours have been kind, popping in to say hello and welcome OH back. He acknowledges them with a polite smile or nod, but doesn’t get into conversation which he leaves to me. I seem to be making endless cups of tea and answering the door – to friend, family, neighbour, carer. Sometimes I’d like to hang a sign on the front door reading ‘DO NOT DISTURB!’
There’s the doorbell. Hells Bells, I’m getting to hate the sound. There’s a youngish woman on the doorstep.
“Hello, I’m Nikki, the speech therapist” she announces with a smile “and I think we’ve met before-“ are you G’s mother?”
I peer at her, trying to recognize her face – and then usher her in, to meet her patient.
Small world. It turns out we have met before, many years ago when N was only 10 years old – a friend of our daughter, G in the last year of primary school. Now I remember the name and try to equate the face before me with the cheery dimpled, round face of the little girl of long ago. My goodness! We catch up on news of the intervening years and then she gets down to the business of coaxing odd breathy sounds out of OH. Among the exercises is the phrase he tried out in the clinic: “Ho! Ha! Ho! Hum! I smell the blood of an Englishmannnn!”
After an hour, she goes.
The doorbell rings (again). It’s Durdana, my Asian neighbor who lives opposite. Although I’ve invited her to my home on a number of occasions (and I’ve been to hers to discuss mutual concerns about commuter parking on our road/ rubbish not cleared by the Council) this is the first time she’s visited me. I want to make her feel welcome as I know she’s diffident about calling on me unannounced. “Do come in!” I say. “So nice to see you. Would you like a cup of tea?”
She’s just about to step over the threshold when a spooky, thin voice calls out from the rear lounge: “Ho! Ha! Ho! Hum! I smell the blood of an Englishmannnn!”
D looks startled. “No, no,” I say in a reassuring tone, “don’t worry – that’s just my OH. He’s –“
I’m interrupted by OH’s voice again from the rear lounge: “Ho! Ho! Ho! What have we here?”
D steps back. “I won’t stay. I just came to er – to see– “
“. . . I smell the blood-“ (OH is excelling himself. His thin, cracked voice sounds quite bloodcurdling)
Her eyes are wide. The smile has frozen on her face. She takes three steps backward. When I turn towards OH in the rear lounge, and then look back to the front door, she’s gone.
Oh dear.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
--------
-
;D
-
February 2011 London
BLOG 56 progress
When I tell OH about the fast retreat of our neighbour, he laughs. A good sign! OH’s sense of humour is returning. Hurray! I think I’d better go across the road and explain – she must think her neighbours are a bunch of lunatics. Either that, or simply very rude.
In a brighter mood, I decide now is the time to look at progress of our villa. Is it progressing? There’s been a notable silence from far-away Turkey. It’s not worth while phoning, so I resort to my usual plaintive email but this time, a little less plaintive: “We’re surprised at not hearing from you. The worry of your lack of communication is hindering my husband’s recovery!” (somewhat of a stretch – OH hasn’t mentioned the villa) “Please send photos immediately. Very concerned!” (maybe I should just type the same email, copy and send it on a monthly basis). I send this email to just about everyone I know at Infinity: L, the two directors, their secretary and the new manager. It strikes me that it’s déja vue; a year ago wasn’t I writing this same email?
It normally takes L a week to reply – so let’s see.
A week later, I copy and send the same email again – this time with an ‘URGENT’ in the subject heading. No prompt answer, so I reason that perhaps I shouldn’t have sent the email to all and sundry: each will pass the buck to another to reply, so this time I send it to L alone.
And then – a reply! Ha! I immediately look to see if there are any attachments – which would mean photos – which would mean progress –
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Oh no, I'm on them there pins again Arty!!!!!!!
-
Bluwise, I love your comments! They encourage me to keep on bloggin'
-
That was a short one this weekbut what a cliffhanger!!!!!!
-
February 2011 London
BLOG 57 looking ahead
Yes, there are attachments. Finally, some images! But, by the look of them, very little progress. Then I spy something in the corner of one of the images which makes my blood boil. It’s the next-door villa, belonging to one of the Russian familiies who purchased some time after us. And that villa appears to be far more advanced than ours. It is complete with glass windows and – do I see correctly – are those newly planted trees at the front? I can hardly believe it: not only don’t we have glassed windows in our own villa, our garden looks like a heap of rubble compared to our next-door neighbour’s smooth landscape. Ours is obviously very far from the possibility of any landscaping. It’s pretty clear to me that Infinity has taken advantage of our situation, knowing that my mind was on other things. Instead, they have forged ahead on our adjacent villas, leaving ours barely touched.
For the first time, I am beginning to wonder about our impetuous decision to buy.
Enough with polite emails. I send a stinging one to L and the directors, and the recently appointed ‘general manager’, E, expressing my feelings about the uneven progress of the group of villas and that ours has progressed the least. (I could kick myself for not taking a few minutes to send emails over the last few months.)
In my angry email I restate the new completion date as stated in the new, revised contract (end of June this year) and ask her to be sure to talk to the directors (although I have blind copied them on the email) and also remind them of the penalties agreed in this updated contract (but inwardly thinking that contracts seem to have little meaning for these people). I tell her that it is essential that we be able to stay in our villa in July as promised so that OH can continue his recuperation.
I also remind the directors that I must review the snagging list while there and that they must complete the necessary items before final payment. Then, dreadful thought: I think ‘they have had the bulk of the money – maybe they don’t care if they don’t receive the final payment – maybe there are other projects, more lucrative than ours, that they want to move to' – oh dear, these negative thoughts are getting me nowhere – I must remain optimistic. While writing this, I can’t help feeling a bit sorry for L – it’s not her fault, but I’m hoping that she will reiterate our anger and angst to her bosses. I think she's the only one reading my emails. If I could, I’d be on the next plane to Dalaman, and then on to Fethiye, thumping the desk of K – better still, thumping K himself and his saccharine sister, S. As for their new 'general manager, E' - I think he's just there to shield them from angry clients.
But I can’t, so I swallow my anger and resentment, put on a smiling face for OH who is now responding much more to smiles and kisses, and go make another cup of tea.
The prospect of staying in our dream villa is receding. Will it ever happen?
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Oh Lord, knot in my stomach now...............
-
You tell em ArtyMar!!!
-
I did, Gillian - but how far did it get me?
-
Can't wait to find out, Arty. :)
-
That's 5 more sleeps ArtyMar.....Can't wait!!
-
Only 5? Seems like you were only there yesterday! We have to wait until June :'(
-
;) I think it refers to "sleeps" to next instalment - that's how it's got us!
-
Yes you are right Bluwise....5 sleeps till next Blog... 79 sleeps to a little bit of paradise !! See you in June Arty....
-
Stupid me! See you in June, Gillian 8)
Thanks for putting me straight, Bluwise!
-
Us too arty. How about meeting up early June.
-
Sadler, Bluwise, Menthol, Gillian and ...? Angel Bar/cafe in Koca Calis pm on Saturday 4 June - what time would suit you?
-
Would be nice but won't be there yet :(
-
Saturday 4th June sounds good..... 2pm?? Wizards & Witches....?? Toil & Trouble.... All Welcome....
-
Sounds good to me! :)
-
Saturday 4th June sounds good..... 2pm?? Wizards & Witches....?? Toil & Trouble.... All Welcome....
Sorted! Put it in your diaries fellow Wizards & Witches. See you there: Angel Bar/Cafe, Koca Calis!
-
So as per usual I do a bulk read and cannot wait to read the next instalment. I am definitely reading it tomorrow as want to see if the stinging email has had the desired effect. More important glad that hubby is making good progress. Fab reading.
Coming out in August - not been to our apartment in three years. Cannot wait - not counted the sleepsl right now they seem endless! :) :) :) :)
-
End February 2011 London
BLOG 58 Really?
Things at home are improving: I now have time to think about Turkey and am not so caught up in the present that I can’t think about the future. The whole point of buying and building the villa was to fulfill that dream of having a place abroad in the sun where everyday worries float away – a peaceful place away from the constant crush of people, traffic, commitments and heavy skies. That place still exists but I can’t seem to reach it. Now OH is getting better – admittedly slower than I’d hoped – I want us to get there.
The time is fast approaching when I’ll be returning to work. Instead of working full time, I’ll go for two days a week. It will be strange to go back to the different world of boisterous teenage students, hurried tea and chats in the staff room, marking online registers, being a disciplinarian when students are late or misbehaving, being a grown-up friend when they’re upset about something (usually a broken romance with a fellow student), marking portfolios, keeping up with endless emails and demands from management and writing assignments. Very different to the hospital world and that of the home-carer-wife.
We are getting used to our routine and changed circumstances – to living an upstairs/downstairs life as far as sleeping arrangements are concerned. If OH keeps up his progress, it won’t be long before he can move upstairs.
I receive an unexpected email from L and there are attachments! My entreaties/threats have finally had some effect! When I open the attachments I can see that a little progress on the building has taken place. It seems that the company responds to the latest, loudest demand – which tells me that I must keep on demanding. This will be exhausting. I then respond thanking her for the email but demanding faster progress so that our villa catches up to those of our Russian neighbours. I note that the latest photos do not show even a corner of their villas (unsurprisingly!). I remind her that the next tranche of money, according to the revised contract, will only be paid once the grass is planted. My reasoning for this clause at the time I negotiated the revised contract was that grass would only be planted when the building was more or less complete (so that the garden would not be ruined by heavy boots and machinery).
The final £7000 is due right at the end, after “snagging”. Snagging is the correction of all the little things that one can only find by occupying the villa for a couple of weeks. I was thinking that if we holidayed there during July – a few weeks after the deadline for villa completion (when the weekly penalties kick in), that would give us a chance to see outstanding issues for the snagging list and make sure they were corrected. In hindsight, seeing how slowly things are progressing, correcting snagging issues while we are there now seems a forlorn hope. But then, I guess I’m an optimistic person: I live in hope. As for the Tapu, which I’d been told was important to receive, the contract stated that it would be exchanged upon receipt of final payment. At the time of signing this revised contract, all this seemed perfectly reasonable.
The big questions looming are:
Will the villa really be ready by end of June?
Will OH then really be well enough to travel?
Will we really be able to assess the snagging issues in the limited time we’ll be there?
Will Infinity really fix up these issues sufficiently in such a short time or provide evidence for us to part with the remaining money?
Will we then really get our Tapu as promised?
Really?
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Agony waiting for Thursday :-[
-
You are so good at suspense Artymar - I wish you weren't ;)
-
March 2011 London
BLOG 59 decisions
It dawns on me that we should book our tickets to Dalaman very soon. If we leave it to the Summer, the prices will be sky-high. Now the situation and decisions are becoming critical. The doctors say that if OH continues his recuperation, he should be able to travel. As a precaution, he’ll take a blood thinning injection 48 hours before leaving and again on arrival. This will avoid the chance of post-operative blood clots. The sunshine and change of scene should do him good. As for me, I feel excited at the thought of staying in our new villa. At last! Just thinking about it gives me a glow. Then I come down to earth. I dare not book unless it will be ready. What to do? So, I email L (and as usual, bcc all the others) and put the dilemma to her. “The contract promises that the villa will be ready for occupation by the end of June. We must book now to get reasonably priced airfare tickets. Will the villa be ready on time?”
A week goes by while I bite my nails waiting for a reply. Then I get it.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Tease. !!! :)
-
Stooooooppppop iiiiiiiit !!!!! We need more........ :'(
-
Now I know why I usually bulk read your posts because of the suspense!
-
(http://s8.postimg.org/b452667q9/Home_alone.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/b452667q9/)
-
End of March 2011 London
BLOG 60 Booked!
On first reading, my heart leaps. Yes! L says ‘Yes. The villa is progressing well. It should be ready by the due date, 30 June’.
But there are no further images attached. Then I re-read her email again, analyzing every word. Should be ready? Not will be ready?
I decide to re-read the contract, though by now I am losing faith in Turkish contracts. Nevertheless, it must stand for something. At the time of negotiating the rewrite last year, I thought it a smart move to include a paragraph that stated that if for any reason, the villa was not completed by the finish date we would be able to travel and be accommodated free of charge by the company. We would also be compensated for every month of lateness, coming off the final price. It was specified that the accommodation would be a villa of similar size and quality as our own. In that way, we would still have a holiday and be able to check over the villa in situ. The thought of that makes me feel better. At the same time I think it prudent to book our flight for August – a full four weeks after the due date. As far as Infinity is concerned though, we are coming end of June/ beginning July – come hell or high-water. Déjà vue from last year.
So I go online: Monarch airlines from Luton, our nearest airport, and check flights. Can’t believe it: £900 for two in high season! Oh well, here goes – if Infinity is true to form, the money won’t be coming out of our pockets. One of these days, we’ll be holidaying in our own villa and maybe that day will be in only a few more months!
I email L and tell her that I have now booked our flights and can’t wait to see our villa finally finished as promised. Roll on June.
We'll see . . .
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Uh, uh, I feel a fall coming! :o
-
I'm sure your flight will be on time...no cancellations....not like today.... Does the contract say how many persons are included in the clause for free flights & holiday if not completed........??? We might just join you...x
-
It's been better reading than the best book I have ever read. I can't belive I am in the same situation as all of your followers so quickly. Can't wait till Thursday
-
Forgot to say, I have a flat in Calis and we have been visiting twice a year for a few weeks at a time and fortunally had no delays, change of departure time in the last 11 years. I hope I can pass on to you my good luck in that respect but we do travel from Manchester perhaps that is the secrect. Good luck on your empending trip.
-
ArtyMar.......It's Thursday.......have you forgot something??
-
End of April 2011 London
BLOG 61 Coping
It’s nearly May already and its ages since I’ve received an attachment with images of progress on the villa. Has there been much progress? What is L playing at? – very little I fear.
On the home front OH is making a slow but steady recovery. He’s using his walker to get around and is also using the new banisters, holding both sides, to go up and downstairs. The carers come and go – I hardly ever see the same face twice – very disconcerting for poor OH. If I’m not home, they let themselves in via a special key coded system outside the front door. Today, after I get home from work, I read the carer’s report: a new person, K, whose signature I can’t decipher but she leaves a little drawing with her report. Nice. Who is she? OH says cryptically that she “knows me”. Turns out she’s one of my ex students. Having left college, she’s not doing art as a career (no great surprise) but has signed up to a Carers Agency for the NHS. She was a somewhat ‘ditsy’ student in my classes, invariably late, never doing set homework, giggling uncontrollably with her friend Elizabeth. Once the two turned up to class dressed as fairies complete with pink tutu dresses and wings attached to their shoulders (this is not so unusual considering they were both teenagers and art students). They still caused quite a stir – especially with the boys – I’m glad there was no inspection that day!
However, I had an ace up my sleeve in regard to discipline. Her mother is the receptionist at my dentist, and if K became too disruptive in class, I would casually mention that I have an upcoming appointment with the dentist. It always had a miraculous effect. Now here she was in my own home, caring for my OH. What next! OH though, said she was ‘lovely’ and ‘good fun’, so that’s fine . . . I guess. Hopefully it won’t be too long before we can say goodbye to carers all together. OH tires quickly and he can’t concentrate for long, but with time, I’m hopeful that he’ll get back to his old self. I say this to him, and he says “less emphasis on the old”. He hasn’t lost his sense of humour.
On a weekly basis, I email L at Infinity saying how we’re building up toward our trip to Turkey to stay in our new villa – how much OH is looking forward to it. I don’t mention that OH is occupied day-by-day, minute-by-minute, coping with life in the present, not the future. But for me: yes, I’m coping with day-to-day life – rushing to work in the morning after making sure OH has what he needs to hand, coping with students and college matters during the day and rushing home to cook for us, and look after OH at night. But beyond that, I’m not living in the present. I’m dreaming of the future – our dream villa in the Sun.
Dreaming – and worrying.
----------------------------------------
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Live your dream..... Share your worries.....we are all listening.... Gosh 7 more sleeps till next Blog!!
-
16 May 2011 London/Fethiye
BLOG 62 Crunch time approaching: email exchange
After my weekly entreaties, I receive the email (below) from Infinity. It does not make me a happy bunny. Seems to me that L, and the newly appointed ‘General Manager’, E, sick of juggling the buck, have passed it to some other poor underling in the company to reply to all Infinity’s angry clients (we are no doubt just one of many) – all demanding progress photos of their overdue, partly finished properties. So this (stupid) woman employee sends a cheery generic email to ‘all: ’ whether they be villa or apartment owners. Another tick on her ‘To Do’ list. Easy! Done!
--------Original Message---------
From: sales@Infinityexpresshomes.com
To: sales@Infinityexpresshomes.com
Sent Mon, 16 May 2011
Subject: Photos
Dear All
I hope you are well and had a nice weekend.
The photos of your villa/apartments construction will be available on Saturday this week, the same kind of general work on the sites are carrying on.
Have a pleasant day!
Regards,
Yulia K
Sales & Marketing
Infinity Express Design & Construction
…
Seething, I reply to L and E (I don’t even bother to copy Yulia):
Dear L and E
It is some weeks since we received the last photos and E promised me weekly photos at this stage. At great inconvenience and expense, we have now changed the time of our intended stay to August. It is vital that we know the date when the villa will definitely be finished as it is now mid May!
Please note our new flight details:
. . . (flight details)
Kindly arrange to meet us at the airport.
Of course, we wish to stay at our villa, fully furnished during these two weeks. Therefore, it is critically important that the villa with garden and pool (ready for swimming) be ready well before this time. Please confirm this. Naturally as time drags on with little progress that we can see by photos, we are becoming increasingly anxious.
We await the next batch of photos promised by Yulia for Saturday, together with confirmation of the finishing date and that you will pick us up from the airport to take us to our villa. Please reply by return.
Regards
------------
I seem to spend my time waiting for emails and attachments that don’t come but to my surprise we receive the photo attachments on the Saturday as promised. I eagerly open them –
----------------------------------------------------------
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
:-\ :'( Cant stand this much longer. But then what will I do on Thursdays when you do finish
-
end May 2011 London/Fethiye
BLOG 63 past times and future times
The email has no message - just attachments so I’m now clicking each to open them.
Once again, I’m overwhelmed with disappointment. What are Infinity playing at? I can’t see any difference on these images from some I’d received previously. I punch out a frustrated reply. Maybe they accidentally sent the same pictures from an earlier batch? Inefficiency or lack of progress or simple delaying tactics? Can’t tell.
I must have made an unconscious groan (or was it a swear word?) because OH asks what I’m doing. How much should I tell him? That our dream villa into which we’ve invested so much is still far from being finished? Even though we are due to go on holiday, to stay there, to check everything and pay up the last of what is owed? In the past I would have shared these worries and together we would come to some conclusions as to the way forward. Now, though, he is still struggling with daily living and the last thing I want is to impede his progress by worrying him unnecessarily. Probably there’s also a guilt factor in there somewhere – after all, I was the main push behind this whole venture. A venture that may have an unhappy ending.
Stop! These are negative thoughts and get me nowhere. An awful lot of building can be done in eight weeks. And would it be so awful if the villa is still not finished? It will be – soon. Surely –
I’ve cut down my teaching job from full-time to three days per week, but it is a strain, juggling the tasks of being a wife, a carer, a teacher – heck, a general all-purpose manager. Funny, how life pans out. Who would have guessed that I’d be here in England today, worrying about a property in far-away Turkey– with two children here in the UK, one in the US, family in Australia.
OH closes his eyes; he spends a lot of time snoozing these days but that’s because he hasn’t the energy to do much else. A change of scene will do him, and me, the world of good. I too close my eyes and I’m transported back to an earlier care-free time, where the sun was so bright that the white pavements seemed to bounce up and hurt the eyes – there’s a line of swimsuits drying on the railings of the school playground (we kids often went to have a swim in the nearby Olympic pool before walking to school in the mornings). Saturday mornings playing tennis, inching our way (myself and two sisters) up the tennis league. Sudden intrusive thought: why did I subject myself to this – I hated it – dodging balls at the net when playing doubles, dozing on the high umpire stand and losing track of the score, being yelled at by other kids in the team when I (invariably) lost a key point – but in those far-gone days, Saturday mornings were meant for tennis – Saturday afternoons were for the ‘flics’: double feature matinees of cowboy films and Pathe News. Come to think of it, this wasn’t so wonderful either: why did I go? – I hated the loud bangs of the guns and the screaming and giggling and popcorn throwing of snotty-nosed boys in the rows behind (even worse in the rows in front). But that’s how it was in those far-away days. No computers, no mobile devices – phones or otherwise – no TV even. TV came late to Australia – only began happening with the Melbourne Olympics in 1956 and even then, few had it. However did we fill our time? Ah, yes – tennis, swimming, going to the flics, making mud pies and dens outside, ‘pretend’ games of role play where we (my sisters and friends) took the part of bossy teachers, and either younger children or if they weren’t available, dolls, were our compliant pupils. Yes, it all comes back and awful though some of it was, it was still a golden time and a time that’s gone forever.
I look across at OH. His eyes are still closed but a smile crosses his face. Is he dreaming or just thinking?
“OH, “ I say softly, “What is it?”
His eyes flicker open but they’re not looking at me – he’s staring into space. I lean closer and he murmurs, “Do you remember–? –“
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Imagination & role play...bring it back!! Clothes horse for a tent....button & buckle tin.....Rag & Bone cart....played all day...Wi nowt...... Kids are still not satisfied today no matter what they have....
Anyway....Back to the question........Do You Remember what OH is asking..... Can't wait till next Thursday...
-
end May 2011 London
BLOG 64 Looking back
My first feeling is of delight. OH is not just mindlessly snoozing (my worried thoughts that the prolonged surgery has damaged his brain) – he’s thinking. What?
“What?” I ask.
“Do you remember when we first met?”
Goodness! Here am I, recalling times long gone, and so is he!
So many images from the past come crowding back. Unbelievably exciting times of youth – when the world suddenly opens up and anything is possible . . .
The Suez canal is closed so The Northern Star has to sail from Sydney Harbour via Panama. It’s a one-class ship with the stipulation that no passenger is over the age of 25 (I’ve just turned 21). En route to Southampton, it stops at Wellington, Trinidad, Curacao, Acapulco. 5 weeks on board sharing a cabin with 5 of my art college friends (at that time sailing was a cheaper way to travel than flying– hard to believe!). Days spent lying by the ship’s pool, nights spent rocking and rolling to non-stop Beatles music (we were never up in time for breakfast). After disembarking I could still feel the rolling and rhythm of the waves beneath my feet.
And then, arriving in London. Even now, so many years later, I can still remember the thrill and the feeling of being thrust into a different world. What struck me first was not the crowds nor the bustle nor the iconic London architecture. No, strangely it was the drab colour of my surroundings– overwhelmingly pale. Everything seemed washed out: pale skins, pastel clothes of beige, pale pink or grey and brown, pale grey/white skies. I arrived mid April. After five weeks on board I was more tanned than I’d ever been in my life, and my clothes were Sydney-fashion colours of bright orange and clashing pink, lime green (wonderful for showing off a tan), golden yellow, aqua and ming blue – exotic colours from a hot country.
I met OH only a month after arriving - at an engagement party of friends of his. I didn’t know the engaged couple; I went to the party with a guy called Joe, whom I’d met at another party. Party? Seems it was one non-stop party in those first few months. My friend from the ship, Shirley, and I rented a one bedroom/one living room/tiny kitchen & bathroom flat in South Kensington (South Ken). She had the bedroom, I used the pull-out bed in the living room which was fine – until I realized I wouldn’t get much sleep. With all the partying and bodies lying around on my living/bedroom floor, there wasn’t much room for me. The bodies were sometimes left over from the previous night’s party but other times were just friends in sleeping bags who hadn’t yet found a place to live. As for the parties and friends – we didn’t have much control. They seemed to multiply. A few friends would drop by, we’d put on a bit of music and others would “just happen to be passing – heard the music” and join in until the place was packed. I asked Shirley one day in he early hours: “are these friends of yours?” “No”, she said, “I thought they were your friends!”
Although OH and I hit it off straight away I didn’t take anything or anyone seriously in those giddy times so when he asked me for my phone number, I didn’t worry about poor Joe who’d driven me to the party and would later be taking me home. I mumbled my phone number to OH ; in those days there were letters and numbers and my phone was FRO (standing for Frobisher)7004. I didn’t think he’d remember it, but I didn’t know then that he had a head for numbers and he’s never forgotten that number. How else would I know it now?
I reach out to hold his hand. ‘Yes”, I say, “I remember when we first met”.
---------------------------------------
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Amazed that you remember so much Arty. Don't they say that if you remember, you weren't there! ;D :) ;) ;) you little devil, you! ;D :o ;D
-
June 2011 London
BLOG 65 Looking back: finding work
My mind swings back to those crazy days – settling in – or at least trying to settle in. It wasn’t easy finding my place in this new world, or should I say ‘old world’ for that’s what it felt like. I loved every minute, and looking back, in a strange way, I even enjoyed the embarrassing times, maybe because it gave me something to talk and laugh about with new-found friends in the evenings.
Take the time of my first-ever job in London. I desperately needed a job to pay the rent and also to save up for touring, so I joined St Paul’s employment agency for short-term office jobs, though my aim longer term was to get an art job in an advertising agency. I remember putting ticks in just about all the boxes where you list your skills. I had the attitude “why not? That can’t be too hard to learn!” That said, my first paid employment, admittedly for a pittance, was stuffing envelopes for the UN charity UNICEF. It wasn’t a skill on the list, but I knew it was something I couldn’t fail at, so turned up at the office in buoyant mood. The office was in a lovely olde-worlde building in the heart of Mayfair in London and about ten young women, were seated around a large, polished oval table with various piles of literature and envelopes. The envelopes were supposed to be self-adhesive but often weren’t, so there were a few sticky tape dispensers also on the table. When I entered the room, the low murmur of chat suddenly ceased as they stopped stuffing to appraise me.
I was introduced by a stern middle aged woman, the chief administrator (not a fellow envelope stuffer): “Ladies, this is ArtyMar, newly arrived from Australia” – and then she introduced each in turn: “Arty, this is Lady Caroline, Lady Marianne, Lady Sarah-Jayne . . .” These Ladies, Sloane Rangers in today’s lingo, were doing their charitable good works, whereas I was there to earn a crust. They all knew each other as this was like a club – I was clearly not meant to be a part of it, but it seemed there was some sort of deadline crisis and the material had to be shifted, so, head down, I got to work. After about ten minutes, I felt the conversation had died somewhat and I looked up. They had all stopped their envelope stuffing and were staring at me. I stopped too. What was wrong? Lady Caroline leaned toward me, ever so elegantly, her long blonde hair swinging over her shoulder: “Arty”, she said, her cut-glass accent like little chips of ice “What’s the rush? Do slow down - you’re making us look bad”.
What! How? Then I noticed that in the ten minutes I’d been there, my pile of stuffed envelopes was already twice as high as theirs. Oh dear – so I slowed right down. It was quite difficult to stuff envelopes slowly but I was helped by the fact that the flaps did not always stick. The sticky tape dispenser was at the far end of the table and the gentle murmur of my fellow envelope stuffers was beginning to rise again, so to get above it, I had to raise my voice a bit. I called out “Pass the Durex, please!”
Sudden stunned silence. So I called out again, this time into the silence, so not quite so loudly: “Can you pass the Durex?”
I then pointed to the tape dispenser. (The leading brand of sticky tape where I came from was called ‘Durex’, and just as a vacuum cleaner is called a Hoover, so sticky tape was referred to as Durex.) Slowly and deliberately Lady Caroline leaned toward me again and whispered delicately into my ear. The table erupted in titters while I turned as red as the red flowers on my dress.
I never did fit into that little circle.
My first job was meant to last a week – I’m not sure I managed a full week, but the next job was already on offer by St Paul’s so I wasn’t too worried. I’d ticked a box saying I could ‘touch type’ and so I could – sort of –
--------------------------------------
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
June 2011 London
BLOG 66 Looking back: finding more work
Ah, yes! Those days were long ago and yet I remember them so well. Now, looking back, I marvel at the arrogance of youth. Nowadays I wouldn’t dream of applying for a job for which I was unqualified; I know I’d be mortified when found out. Back then? Not at all! Everything was an adventure. Nothing tried, nothing gained: that was my motto. So I blithely went ahead and put my name down for the next job on offer from the Agency. Typing ability required. Piece of cake. My mother, herself an excellent touch typist, had shown me how to touch type at the age of eleven when I wanted to try my hand at writing a novel (a school story, Enid Blyton style – I produced enough pages to at least learn the keys and fingering on a typewriter – even if I never finished an epic masterpiece). Yes, I thought – why not? So I duly applied for the job and was accepted (ok I didn’t have a clue as to my typing speed so had to guess that part of the application form).
Turning up on the first day I was led into a room full of people banging away at typewriters. The clatter of keys was awful. I was quickly shown what to do. I had to type invoices from sheets of handwritten scrawl. Oh dear, it mainly involved typing numbers. Oops – I’d hardly ever typed numbers (not part of my novel as I recall) – so no fast touch typing for me. I forget how many days I lasted in that job, not many I suspect.
No problem. What was next on offer? Ah, using a switchboard. Had I had prior experience? Well, no – but I was sure I’d be great at saying sweetly: “Mr…., I have….on the line for you” – the job should be simple enough.
Now that job I do remember . . . with horror.
I was shown into a small room in a large office building somewhere in the city and confronted by a large vertical board. The board had little lights above rows and columns of holes. Plugged into these holes were rubber leads of different colours. These connected evidently to various telephones in various offices. I was given a five-minute demonstration/tutorial. Then after being presented with headphones and a device to talk into, with a quick “Is that ok? You’ll be ok, won’t you?” I was left to get on with it. Help! It wasn’t long before the whole board was lit up with blinking red and yellow lights. As I madly plugged one lead into a likely looking hole, and unplugged another, I could hear a jumble of angry voices in my headphones. What a mess! Obviously, I decided, I was not cut out to be a switchboard operator. As to which was first, my resignation or being fired, I can’t remember but it was probably the latter.
Never mind, what was the next job on offer? I am smiling a bit ruefully as I recall those far-gone times – but the smile is abruptly wiped from my face. OH is touching my arm with sudden urgency. He is also remembering something and clearly either the effort or the memory is concerning him:
“Before my op, we went to Turkey, didn’t we?”
---------------------------------
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
June 2011 London
BLOG 67 Back to the present
It’s taking a long time for OH to start remembering things that happened before his op in October, and the drama of recovery. I’m sure he’ll never remember the actual time in hospital which is probably a good thing. But now – finally – I’ll have to tell him that our great venture, our dream home in Turkey has not quite been the dream I intended. And yet, even with the aggravation, the slowness, the lies, the unkept promises, the fact is that the villa is being built and even if not actually completed, it’s well on the way. The question is, will it be ready for us to stay? And how much should I tell my poor OH what’s been happening (or not!).
“Yes” I reply, “and when we were there, we bought a villa – off plan, so it’s being built. Do you remember?”
To help, I show him progress photos and the original fancy folder with the computer generated pictures and floor plans. Reading his expression, I can see the wheels turning as he concentrates. The doctors were right – time is a healer, and his brain as well as body is slowly healing. I wish I could say “and guess what, we’ll be going there in a few weeks time to stay!” But I’ll believe it when it happens. Go we will; we’ve booked – but whether we’ll actually be staying in our precious, new villa with its marble floors and sparkling turquoise pool, I can’t be sure. So I hedge my bets and tell him we’ll have a wonderful holiday there and see the villa being built. I tell him it’s nearly finished and how much he’ll love it. As I talk, I’m starting to convince myself too.
I guess I’ll send another email to L at Infinity.
----------------
to be continued.............usually posted on Thursday
-
Would love to see the progress photos of the villa ArtyMar....... oh, the suspense! :o
-
progress photos coming up! (next post)
-
June 2011 London
BLOG 68 Looking back/looking forward
I’m showing OH the progress pictures and as I look, from the time of our dream being just some diagrams on paper in a pretty folder with CGI images of the villa - to the reality of a real structure rising up out of the ground – I gasp. It’s really here, it’s actually nearly ready! And according to the latest email from L, it will be ready! I choose to believe.
(http://s32.postimg.org/cehzjb91d/two_bedrooms_plan.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/cehzjb91d/)
(not sure if all my selected images have actually uploaded- now I see I've uploaded 2 identical but can't delete the duplicate)
(http://s32.postimg.org/uo3i94sjl/front_with_wall_gate_pool_visible_on_left.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/uo3i94sjl/)
(http://s32.postimg.org/kl9m2l75t/Mars_changed_birdseye_view_of_garden_pool_pavi.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/kl9m2l75t/)
(http://s32.postimg.org/nck5l37up/bare_skeleton_with_workers.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/nck5l37up/)
(http://s32.postimg.org/n7vlqaw01/side_with_empy_tiled_pool.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/n7vlqaw01/)
(http://s32.postimg.org/fhyxfe6bl/side_with_empy_tiled_pool.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/fhyxfe6bl/)
(http://s32.postimg.org/vcloi67i9/part_villa_with_dug_ou_side_gdn.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/vcloi67i9/)
(http://s32.postimg.org/3u6aui8ht/villa_nearly_built.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/3u6aui8ht/)
-
Yes, Yes, Yes!!!!
-
August 2011 Dalaman
BLOG 69 nearly there
Déjà vu. We’re approaching Dalaman. For the first time ever, OH has ‘special assistance’ i.e. wheelchair at the airport, but we haven’t far to walk at Dalaman, just down the ramp with our luggage, where transport from Infinity will be collecting us and giving us the keys.
I can hardly believe we’ll soon be there, at our dream villa. At last.
This is the ‘snagging’ stage where we check for small things that may need fixing before making the final payment. Let’s hope there aren’t too many. Some of the photos have been indistinct and it’s certainly not possible to check whether things are actually working. But it does look ready – more or less!
We’re both excited as we roll our trolley down the ramp looking for the white mini-bus labeled ‘Infinity’.
Again, I have a horrible feeling that they may not be there – letting us down again at the last moment – but, wait – there they are! A smiling guy holding a sign with our names comes towards us as I hail him. He helps us into the bus before loading our luggage. Forty minutes, maybe forty-five, it won’t be long now –
…………
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
gasp...........
-
August 2011 Calis
BLOG 70 Here!
The mini-bus passes the Escape Bar; there are still people sitting outside under the large canopy, sipping their Efeses. We’re just a minute away as we bump our way down the dirt road . . . and there it is! Our villa is on the corner, all lit up, garden, pool and terrace. I can see the yellow and white stripes on the umbrellas so carefully chosen months ago. I’m breathless with excitement. OH is staring through the window.
“Is that our villa?” he asks in astonishment. (he has not been gazing at photos month after month, looking at the inch-by-inch progress or lack of it, as I have.)
As I clamber down the steps of the bus, I can hardly wait to enter. The driver has the keys and he brings our cases to the front door and opens up. I help OH to the door. I hardly know whether to rush around outside or see the inside first. I suppose, the inside, as I want the driver to carry our cases upstairs to the bedroom on the first floor.
Finally, we’re here. The driver has gone, our cases are in our bedroom and we can look around and take it all in. I gaze around me in the bedroom where we have elected to sleep. The beds are made up with the linen and covers I chose so carefully to match the curtains. Those curtains are so bright! Did I really choose that lime green? Why? Now, I remember looking at a number of tiny material samples when choosing the colour of curtains for each room. Sure looks different when hanging ceiling to floor. I resolve to create a suitable painting to go with the curtains to enhance the bright, tropical feel (I’ll call it that rather than a garish green)– maybe a still life of lemons –or white and yellow daisies? All those lovely white walls, just crying out for my paintings! I’ve run out of wall space at our home in London. I leave OH and dash downstairs again. There, in the centre of the dining table is a bunch of flowers in a vase with a note pinned to them. I want OH to be with me and call to him to come downstairs too. “Hold onto the rail!” I call (don’t want him slipping on these marble stairs).
“What do you think?” I ask.
“It’s amazing” he replies and points to the vase with flowers. “Who put that there?”
I open the small envelope pinned to the cellophane. Inside is a card with writing that says: “Welcome to your Turkish home”.
We just stand together, holding hands like a pair of young lovers. “It’s from L.” I answer at last. I can be sure of that as I know that neither of the directors nor the new manager would have thought of it.
Our Turkish home and we haven’t been upstairs to the top floor yet – or explored outside. We open the sliding glass door to the pool, glimmering and shimmering, lit from beneath the water. The lights are on in the garden showing the newly planted ‘limone’ (conifers) trees and the oleanders; the grass is just beginning to come through the soil. The evening air is warm as we walk slowly around our newly planted garden. We go inside and close the curtains, looking for the light switches to turn off the outside lights. I find the switches for the garden lights but not the pool. Oh well, we’ll find it in the morning. Plenty of time to explore - now for the top floor –
------------
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
;D ;D ;D I'm giddy with excitement -
-
I had goosebumps reading that last post :) :) :) :) :)
-
How lurverly .... I would not have been able to sleep.....tooooo excited!!!!
-
August 2011 Our villa in Koca Calis
BLOG 71
Next morning, we’re woken at 5 a.m. by a) all the dogs around the neighborhood barking in chorus, with some roosters adding their voices for good measure b) call to prayer to the locals. We discuss the delights of being in our own villa (finally!) and marvel at the beauty of the area – a reminder of why we started out on this venture: the lush forest opposite, the surrounding mountains, the unspoilt countryside, the beautiful Fethiye harbour, the sunshine and blue skies.
Now fully awake, I get up to try our new shower for the first time. Taking care not to slip on the shiny marble floor of the bedroom I open the door to the bathroom and mentally pat myself on the back for my choice of tiling – pale blue with a part-way up silver and blue strip. It’s more a wet room than a shower-room as there’s no partition to separate the shower from the toilet area, just a ridge on the floor in the shower area – presumably to stop the water spreading onto the rest of the floor. Hmm – didn’t I order a shower partition? Now, I’m not sure, though I definitely ordered one for the adjoining bedroom’s ensuite, and a half-way screen for the upstairs Jacuzzi bath. I step into the shower recess and turn on the tap, a lever that lifts with a push button to change from shower head to tap water. Then, I do remember something. When rushing around the bathroom shop with L, I ordered a special extra large showerhead that stuck out from the wall and was supposed to simulate rain. I thought it would be something a bit different and add a touch of luxury. The showerhead above me however was just the ordinary every-day type on a long silver-chrome rope. With irritation, I thought: maybe they installed my special shower in another bathroom in the villa, perhaps in the en-suite in the adjoining smaller bedroom (or maybe above the Jacuzzi bath in the bedroom under the eaves?). Last night I raced through all the rooms but only peeped into the bathrooms. We had great water pressure when we were last in Turkey – how will it be in our villa? I soon find out. The pressure is fantastic, water spurts out fast and furious, but not as furious as I am when the top of the shower tap comes off in my hands. I manage to turn off the water and look down to see that the bathroom floor resembles a lake. The shower was only on for a few minutes but the room is flooded and water is already seeping into the bedroom, making walking on those marble floors exceedingly hazardous. I call out to OH not to move, to stay in bed until I’ve wiped the floor. Before leaving the bathroom, I check out the loo, and find that the whole system is not fully anchored to the floor so that the toilet rocks when anyone sits down! And after only one push, the cistern does not flush – it is stuck in the down position. I’d better make a prompt start on our snagging list. It may be extensive! In the meantime, these are urgent matters and need to be attended to without delay.
But – outside, the sun is shining, and the swimming pool is glittering – inviting us in for an early morning swim. Hang on a minute, the pool lights are still on; I still haven’t found an inside switch to turn them off, and they’re obviously not on a timer, having been on all night. Another point for the snagging list or a query to find the mystery place for the pool lights.
After breakfast, before phoning L, I decide to check out the other bathrooms and the downstairs cloakroom – a plumber may be needed here too. I seem to remember that there was an unpleasant smell in the cloakroom and we haven’t yet used it. Maybe it just needs some airing . . must check the showers, taps, jacuzzi bath – and then make the phonecall.
Oh dear, when I phone, I get the usual run-around: ‘L is out – no one able to take a message other than to ask her to contact us’. How many more unpleasant surprises await us?
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-----------------
-
aaaah, the ups and downs!
-
August 2011 Our villa in Koca Calis
BLOG 72 the snagging list
The list is growing: toilet flushing is temperamental. It’s not long before three of the four toilets in the villa are not flushing. They’re not blocked with ‘illegal’ toilet paper: the flushing mechanism is faulty. Three of the four bath/shower rooms also have an unpleasant smell. I relate this in an increasingly cross tone in the latest message I leave at the Infinity office. On closer inspection I discover that the Jacuzzi bath is not properly installed – the water does drain as the bath is sloping the wrong way. Even the plug mechanism is faulty. Also, the slightest turn of the knobs controlling the Jacuzzi gushing sends the water over the edge of the bath, flooding the floor. The bath is unusable. Oh, and just to cap it off, the door handle has been put on the wrong side of the door – you can’t lock the door from the inside, only from the outside – locking some unfortunate occupant inside the bathroom! Even if you survive the Jacuzzi bath, don’t slide on the lake on the bathroom floor and don’t get locked in the bathroom, you might not get much sleep as there’s a curtain missing from one of the windows allowing the streetlight to shine in.
I explain and show L all this when she finally turns up with Farouk, a handyman from Infinity. It seems that the flushing mechanisms in the loos are of cheap Chinese make, not the more robust Turkish or German varieties. It strikes me that if both Farouk and L know this, why does Infinity continue to install the inferior makes that are so poor that they break almost on first use? We demand that all be changed and F and L agree. As to the bath, that’s a bigger problem it seems and we’ll have to wait.
What about the mysterious non-existent light switch for the pool lights? Ah, F smiles – he knows how to fix this. He goes outside, lifts the trapdoor lid on the pool terrace and begins to climb down the ladder inside. OH and I peer down the black cavity. The pool light switch is underground – we’d have to risk life and limb climbing down the black hole to find it to turn off and on! Politely (or not!) we explain that this is not viable. It appears that it is now too late to try to create a switch inside the house for the pool lights – the best they can do is to install a timer which we decide is better than leaving the lights on day and night. L encourages us to find all these “little faults” (her words not ours) to put on our snagging list. I try to emphasise the importance not just of listing – but fixing! Then she says, in passing, that the company is changing its name. No longer to be called “Infinity Express”, it is now Deska Global. I catch OH’s eye. Is he thinking the same as I am, that the company is shrinking in its reach – no longer stretching to Infinity, it is now confining itself merely to this Earth. I ask why the name-change but get a somewhat garbled answer. OH says bluntly: “Is Infinity in trouble – financially?” Oh no – how could we think this? L looks shocked – and gives us a garbled reason for the name change: something to do with the family ownership of the company – one of the brothers pulling out to set up his own company. Doesn’t make much sense, but our main concern is to find the faults, list them and see them fixed. At that stage, according to our contract, we pay the final amount owing and we then obtain that key document, our TAPU that gives us legal entitlement to our villa.
Getting nearer.
To be continued - usually posted on Thursdays
-
Through 30,000 views Arty :)
-
Yay! And still only in 2011 - at this rate we'll have kicked the bucket before I manage to catch up to present times. Btw, typing this from The Angel Bar in Koca Calis.
-
Please don't leave us yet Arty, there is still a lot to tell us! Dredging my memory, I vaguely recall arranging to meet yourself and some other "witches" during this period. Unfortunately, circumstances at home overtook us and we had to cancel our flights, and therefore our holiday to Turkey at this time, sorry for the late apologies for absence!
-
Yes, Sadler - we had an arrangement to meet up last Saturday at 2 pm. The cbf website was playing up at the time so I couldn't send out any SOS calls as to why I was sitting all alone with no fellow witches for company :'(
Such a shame that you had to cancel your precious holiday. Hope things at home are now ok, and that you will be able to return soon.
The weather here at the moment is just glorious and without the need to use the aircon.
Right now, we (son Michael, me and OH) are sitting in front of a huge screen, 3m wide, in the Mangal House restaurant in Calis Beach, watching the England v Russia match in the Euros in France. They have their eyes glued to the large screen while I have mine glued to this small screen but whenever there's a roar from either the soundtrack or those sitting around me, I am forced to see what's happening. So far the score is 0-0. Photos to come.
-
Running a bit behind with m'blog - having just returned from glorious Calis and adjusting to rain and grey skies in London :'(
-
That's not good enough Arty, some of us need our Thursday fix, we haven't all been relaxing in the sunshine, mainly being drowned in the rain!!! xx (lol)
-
s-oo sorry :-[ will endeavour to remedy the situation asap :-*
-
August 2011 Our villa in Koca Calis
BLOG 73 Tapu
The Tapu. I’ve been told so often about the importance of this document – and our contract makes it clear that we’ll obtain this after the snagging list has been finished. Again I contact K and S, the remaining directors of Deska Global and actually manage to talk to S.
Forget the Tapu, she skims over my reminder re the contract and asks, ever so sweetly, if I like her ‘gift’. Er, what gift is that? I enquire, unaware of what she can mean. Oh, she says, didn’t I notice the framed jigsaw painting hanging on the staircase wall? She tells me that when we were in the Infinity offices I admired it on her office wall, so she’s given it to us as a gift. Yes, I certainly did notice it, now on our villa wall, and was mildly annoyed at the gilt badge bearing the name ‘Deska Global’ prominently displayed on the bottom corner. The badge was well glued and surprisingly difficult to remove - requiring a knife to wrench it off. This I did not bother to tell her, and rather lamely thanked her for the “gift” before returning to the snagging list. Prominent among the snagging points that I tell her about is the extraordinary fact that I can’t see any down pipes/guttering on the exterior walls. Isn’t rain expected in the winter, I ask – where are these pipes? I also point out that some of the paint outside seems to be peeling – surely it’s only recently been painted and shouldn’t be peeling already? Anyway, when will these and the other points listed be fixed? She’ll talk to L and the workmen, and they’ll be in touch. Rather vague, but it’s all I can do at the moment.
But we’re here – and the villa is here – and by golly, we’re going to enjoy our holiday. The sun is shining outside, beating its rays on the terrace. It’s mighty hot but there’s a surprisingly cool breeze on the terrace and the pool’s turquoise water is sparkling and inviting.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
---------------
-
August 2011 Our villa in Koca Calis
BLOG 74 Snags and Snagging
Ok, so only one toilet works properly, the showers flood the bathroom floors and the Jacuzzi bath needs replumbing and repositioning, there are no downpipes or guttering, and the newly painted external paint is already peeling, you can’t turn the pool lights off and on without descending into the bowels of the earth, the cooker extractor hood complete with fan and light has no pipe or mechanism to extract fumes – so what? All can be fixed!
L brings Farouk, the general fixit man. They discuss these issues in Turkish. Who knows what they say? L turns to us.
“Don’t worry, we’ve noted all these things and they’ll be fixed.”
The obvious question: when? Needless to say, neither L nor F can answer this. They are not in charge of the work force. I say that we want to see some work done while we are here, but we can whistle in the wind. I can see from L’s face, that much as she would like to say ‘yes, of course, all the work will be finished’, there’s no way that this can be done – a) she has no way of knowing what her bosses will sanction and b) she has as little real faith in them as I do.
Outside, the pool and surrounding terrace face the forest. It’s so peaceful and so beautiful. We lie outside on our sunbeds. The area is so unspoiled, the road outside leading to the beach is not even paved. Then a car goes by, kicking up a mountain of dust – which floats above us and slowly descends over our wall, terrace and pool. My eyes begin to water and I start to sneeze. Unspoiled is all very well, but when will that road be tarmacked? I reach for my antihistamines. Are there such things as wrap-around sunglasses?
Keeping to my firm decision to remain positive and reminding ourselves (and L) that Deska will get no further money until the snagging repairs are carried out, we relax and enjoy the sunshine and the beauty of the area. Just love the Surf Café Beach Club – watching those kite surfers skimming the waves is a continual delight. Down at the beach as evening approaches, the vivid red ball of the sun sinks behind the mountains leaving streaks of pink across a purple sky. We lean back into the giant beanbags and a gentle sea breeze tickles our toes.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Do you know what Arty? That almost sounds normal given today's and the previous week's happenings! ;D ;D ;D 8)
-
Arty Mar.....We are there with you..... We can see it....smell it....taste it!!!! Lurverly .... Can't wait to be back!! .
Sorry we missed our rendezvous .....hopefully will catch up September.... All the best.....x
-
End of August 2011 Our villa in Koca Calis
BLOG 75 Promises, promises -
After a few more meetings with Farouk, L and another bod from the newly named ‘Deska Global’, whom L calls their ‘architect’, a few more things are fixed. The toilets now all have new flushing mechanisms and they’ve made an attempt to fix the Jacuzzi bath but it’s unsatisfactory. The showers still flood the floors of the bathrooms and I’ve finally got an agreement that at least one bathroom will have a full shower screen installed. Still battling about the other two because they already have partial glass screens but they’re insufficient to stop the flooding. Oh yes, promises that full guttering and down pipes will be put in (but what’s the urgency, they say – it’s not raining!). As to the parts of the villa’s external walls that are beginning to peel – yes, that too will be done.
On our final day, I go through the snagging list again with L. There are still loads of large and small things unticked – and then, to our amazement, L asks for the final payment! Our answer, needless to say, is ‘no – not until this list is all complete with every item ticked off as done’. She more or less promises that all will be done but it’s impossible to do immediately, and hints that this will delay our Tapu. Is the Tapu ready, I ask? That’s not her job, she says, she have to ask M, from Deska. I just wish I could speak directly to S, the woman partner from Deska, or her brother, K – but both are unavailable – always either out of town or ‘attending a meeting’. As to M, I’ve neither met him or heard of him until now.
I tell L that as soon as all the work is done and I have photographic evidence, we’ll pay the final amount and on our next trip, receive the Tapu as per contract.
Then it’s time to go home – the time has flown. OH has spent most of his time either lying in the air-conditioned lounge watching the English news on the satellite TV or lying on a sunbed at the Sport Café beach sipping an Efez. I seem to have spent a lot of time in the pool, the best place to cool off, or arguing/negotiating with L and workmen from Deska . At any rate, we’ve had a change of scene and in between times, a lovely break.
Can I trust Deska to fulfill their promises? Hmmmm
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Wow, the cheek asking for the balance!!
-
September 2011 Back home in Blighty
BLOG 76 Round and round
I long for a life where I don’t have to play this game with Deska: the constant flow (or should I say ‘write and await a reply’) of emails back and forth. From my side: “when will such and such be finished? When will I get the photos?” From their side: when will you pay the remaining £7000? Now we have a new demand added to the bill: an exorbitant amount for electricity. It looks to me as if some of this covers the time when building was taking place, not just our occupancy, and the bill is in the builder’s name – so I join the game of bluff and counter bluff, telling them to pay it (as it’s in their name) – hinting that I’ll pay up our share when we settle the final bill. I ask about the bill being changed to be in our name but it seems this can only happen once we have our Tapu and our own number. So here we go again, round and round. We want our Tapu; they say “when you’ve settled all bills”. We say we’ll do that when you’ve completed the work according to contract. Stalemate. Even Deska can’t argue that all work is complete when there’s no guttering or downpipes!
In the end, I can see that we’ll need to go again to see the final results for ourselves as to the completion of the snagging list. I write to K and S, the brother and sister directors, with whom we conducted our original negotiations to buy and build, to explain this. I state that I am giving plenty of notice so there should be no excuses as to completing everything on the list, which we have gone over extensively with L and Farouk and their ‘architect’. We plan to book again for April. Can we do the final exchange and Tapu receipt then?
As usual, their reply is a long time coming. . .
To be continued - usually posted on Thursdays
-
How frustrating. I think had it been me, I would be on a murder charge by now! >:(
-
February 2012 Home in London
BLOG 77 Winter blues
I think February is the worst month of the year – Winter is ever present: dark, leaden skies, rainy days and icy streets. Spring is a long time in coming and Summer – well, even when it finally comes, it’s over in the blink of an eye.
OH and I have not been out very much – it’s too cold and miserable and I worry that OH, now not as steady on his feet as he was before the op, could easily slip on an icy pavement. But, that said, his health is steadily improving. Now that he is rid of that dreadful body sepsis and not on non-stop alternating antibiotics, his face no longer has that strained, fragile appearance and though he can’t walk with the vigour of pre-op times, he actually looks younger. He can now think and talk much more clearly, but I’ve got into the habit of protecting him from what I consider bad news. And as far as our villa in Turkey is concerned, it really is a mixed blessing. The good news is that it is built! The bad news is that there are still quite a few outstanding issues, not the least of which is the final payment and getting our Tapu.
When OH was at death’s door, the fleeting thought crossed my mind that we’d have to sell the villa before we’d even made use of it. And then, the further thought: how difficult it would be to sell when not fully finished and without actual ownership proved by the Tapu! At least we’ve been able to stay and enjoy the brand-new villa even with its imperfections, the pool, the beach and so many other delights of a simpler life.
I have had the odd reply to my many emails – the latest one from S, the sweet faced, sweeter-talking, woman director of the newly named Deska Global. I had reminded her (yet again) of our forthcoming trip in April to sign off the snagging list and in bold that we look forward then to receiving our Tapu as stated on the contract. Her reply merely states that she looks forward to our return. This time, in frustration, I turn to OH and read him her email. “What do you think?” I ask him.
His reply is unprintable.
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
March 2012 Home in London
BLOG 78 Here we go again
I have written to Deska, to the two directors with copies to both L, the English speaking admin assistant/client liaison person and E, the relatively new ‘general manager’ to let them know that we have now booked our airfares for end of April (my half-term break), during which time we expect to finalise the outstanding items on the snagging list, pay the final amount and receive our Tapu as per contract. We have seen photos of the downpipes so we know that at least one key item has been done. They acknowledge our email with my suggested time for a meeting with the directors (I suggest a morning appointment at their office for two days after our arrival). Their reply is the usual polite “looking forward to seeing you”. Just to spell it out, I write again that this is not a holiday for us; we are coming with the express purpose of ‘handover of money and Tapu’ .
At the same time, I am really looking forward to those blue skies and seeing our precious home-in-the-sun again. Bit by bit, agro by agro we are nearing the end. I don’t really bother OH with niggles about the Tapu – from his point of view, this will be a short break in the sun. Hopefully there will be more sun than rain!
So, here we go again. . .
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
To all my CBF eager readers out there, apologies for lack of update in this never-ending saga. My excuse is a) big exhibition that I'm getting my artwork ready for, and b) family arriving from Boston on Friday. Have to clear all my art junk from both studio and spare bedroom so they have space to sleep.
-
Will let you off but ......expect a double episode next week please. Have a great time with your family.
-
Gosh Arty - get a wriggle on!
-
You've got your priorities right Arty, enjoy your visitors. :)
-
BLOG 79 Tapu Troubles
Fast forward to August. Skip April – a bit of a disaster in more ways than one. Firstly the weather: we struck a rainy spell and surprisingly cold weather, so much so that we had to borrow blankets for night-time from our next door neighbour, a lovely Turkish woman, Nuray who has an ailing husband the same age as mine. When we see each other, usually when I’m passing her villa and she’s tending her garden, we exchange a few words – mainly it seems, about husbands and their various ailments. She and her husband have a very large garden and she told me they sold off part of it to Deska (‘Infinity’ at the time) to make enough of a plot for our villa. She thinks another villa could fit onto her land so she could make more money as land sells for a lot in this area. She sounded me out as to whether we want to buy it to increase our plot size. Yes, I’d love that – if nothing more, to stop another villa being built on our border with her but when I hear the price she wants – nearly as much as we paid for our land complete with built villa – I think not. I hope she keeps the land price high - surely no-one else would want to buy?
The purpose of our visit, as explained innumerable times in innumerable emails to Deska, was to finalise payment after completion of snagging and get our Tapu. Great hope. Sweet S was unaccountably delayed in Istanbul and could not meet with us as promised. Surprise, surprise! Oh, and powercuts. We had three outages for hours at a time. They say a change is as good as a holiday, so it was a change, but not much of a holiday.
So here we are in the heat of August, and boy, is it hot! We’re here with G (our daughter) and her 11 year old twins. OH is ensconced in the air-conditioned lounge watching the UK or International news on the satellite TV while I spend much of my time ‘judging’ who comes first in the twins’ various games which are centred around the pool. I can never get it right, as they insist on being competitive but I’m always sure to offend one, even if I announce a draw. “Grandma, you weren’t watching properly: I was much better than him!” (or her – as the case may be).
Suddenly, OH opens the sliding glass door and announces that both air-con and TV have gone off.
Turns out there’s another power cut but upon further enquiry from surrounding villas, it appears to have affected us only.
Strange, but it could be a fuse and I don’t know how to fix it, so I phone L at Deska. Thankfully, she’s there but I detect an unusually diffident tone in her voice. She’s usually warm and friendly, and sympathetic to our building problems and delays. This time it’s different. After I’ve explained the problem, she says: “It’s because you haven’t paid your electricity bills . . .”
It takes me a good minute to recover my breath:
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
August 2012. Our villa in Koca Calis
BLOG 80 Plan of attack
Then I explode. True, we haven’t paid the bill which was extraordinarily high due to it being on a different rate scale: builders’ rate as opposed to the domestic rate. Until we receive our Tapu with the property in our name it remains, at least in theory and most probably in reality, the property of the builders and under these circumstances, they should pay the bill – especially as they have been using much of the electricity. Give us our Tapu, I say, and we will pay the bill even though it is at an unfair rate. At least future bills will then be more reasonable and we’ll be able to check that they’re genuine.
“That’s not my problem”, she says, “that’s something you really need to discuss with S or K” (the directors and owners of Deska).
“I’ve been trying to do just that” I splutter, “as you know very well but they don’t seem to be available and actually here in Fethiye – at least when I try to make contact”.
“Well” she says, “they’re here now as they’re discussing a very big deal with some buyers from Saudi Arabia”.
My first thought, on hearing this, is that she’s intimating that we are small fry and of no consequence, but then I think: ha! I can make use of this tidbit of information.
“Are they both there right now?” I ask.
“Er, yes” she replies somewhat hesitantly, “but they’re both tied up as I said. It’s no good coming now – they won’t be able to see you.”
“That’s ok” I reply, my mind working overtime. “I’ll contact you again to make another appointment.”
L sounds relieved but she won’t be soon. My plan is to come over to their elegant offices overlooking the harbour, where no doubt they are both busily engaged in sweet-talking the big Saudi buyers or investors. (And I bet M is bringing them tray after tray of tea.) I’ll threaten to put a spoke in their wheels unless we get our Tapu. I don’t know exactly what I’ll do – won’t know that until I’m on their doorstep and can gauge the situation but I’ll work something out for sure, and it won’t be pretty.
I turn to OH; the room is getting hot quickly without the air-con and not being much of a reader (except for newspapers/political periodicals), a walker or a swimmer, there’s not much for him to do right now.
“OH, we have an urgent appointment with the directors of Deska – we’ve got to sort this out – and now! I’m phoning for a taxi – are you just about ready to go?”
Daughter is informed; she’s outside in the shade, working on her laptop and keeping an eye on the twins in the pool. No doubt she’ll be a better judge of their ‘competitions’ than their Grandma.
The taxi draws up and we’re on our way.
----------------------
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Go Arty!!!!!!
-
Wow Arty. I cant imagine how stressed you must be. Deep breath and then go get them girl.
-
(https://s4.postimg.org/8qqsww7cp/female_boxer2.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/8qqsww7cp/)
-
August 2012. Deska Global’s offices in Fethiye
BLOG 81 Confrontation
OH is bewildered and asks “Why are we here?”
“To get the electricity turned back on.”
“But there’s a power cut – how can they fix it?”
“They will,” I say grimly as I march up the steps to the entrance of their glamorous office building (and he tries to keep up using his walking stick – since the op, he can’t stride along as he used to).
“Wait! “he cries, but I can’t wait – we must strike while the iron is hot.
“What are you going to do?” I can hear the alarm in his voice. At this point, I stop:
“Whatever I do or say, you mustn’t worry. Say nothing, or back me up – but please do not worry about me – or about anything!” Unfortunately this seems to make him more alarmed.
“But –“
By now we’re in reception but at the moment, unusually, there’s no one manning the desk so we go up the few steps to the main offices, the offices of K, S, the new general manager, E, the sales and admin staff – and the boardroom. I can hear the odd telephone ringing and the murmur of voices behind closed doors.
“I want to see K RIGHT NOW! We have a big problem with our villa!” This I say in the loudest voice, verging on a shout. Magically all the doors open at once and an array of startled faces look out. Some I recognize.
C, S and K’s secretary rushes out, her face flushed.
“Please! You can’t come now! S and K are in conference!”
“WE ARE NOT GOING!” I shout, “NOT UNTIL OUR ELECTRICITY IS TURNED BACK ON! AND WE WANT OUR TAPU!”
She is trying to usher us to a small side room, but we are staying put. OH appears as shocked as she is. He did not expect this behaviour from his normally fairly sedate wife.
“Please, please. . .” she whispers “we have important clients here”
“Are these people really going to buy villas from you?” I practically yell.
At this point, K himself comes striding out of the boardroom. He is clearly angry. C, the secretary beats a fast retreat back into her office, quickly closing her door.
K, red with anger: “You have not made an appointment. Please go! “
By now, I’ve allowed myself to get really het up. I’ve had enough – enough of their pretension, enough of their prevarication, enough of the problems and niggles with the lack of completion – the fact that we made a needless visit a few months ago, enough of their lies.
“You’ve cut off our electricity. My husband is elderly and ill – my family and grandchildren are here – we can’t live without electricity!”
“You pay bill, we turn on electricity” he says.
At this point I explode with what can only be described as a howl. We are beyond the point of argument.
He glances nervously toward the boardroom where the door is now again firmly shut. I envisage M with tea-tray in hand, with his back to the door, as nervous as the rest of them.
“I’ll tell them all about you-” I hiss.
“Get out. Now. “ His expression is quite ugly and there is menace behind his words.
I’m a bit ashamed to admit it, but I have to confess I turn on the tears as I sink onto the marble floor – calculated – probably, but I let those tears of frustration flow. Poor OH is trying to comfort me, unsuccessfully.
“You’ve ruined our holiday!” I sob (loudly) “I’ll go in there” (indicating the boardroom) “and tell them all about you and how you treat your clients”.
It’s quite a scene. There am I sitting in the middle of the floor in floods of tears, just outside the surrounding offices with OH bending over me and K towering above us both.
“I’m not leaving until you turn on the electricity in our villa – we’ll stay all night if we have to -.” I sob, now genuinely pretty out of control.
I can see K is desperately trying to decide what to do. He glances toward the board room. I open my mouth to yell again.
------------------------
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Come on ArtyMar, you can't leave us waiting a week for an update on this.
Can you just not post the whole 'visit to office' episode, please?
-
I have to confess, I wait and block read these posts as my patience is zero..always the same when I, m reading a good book..
Awwwww coommmee onn
-
(https://s3.postimg.org/nhd9ij2mn/surprised_dog_jpg.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/nhd9ij2mn/)
-
ArtyMar .... Your such a calm Lady.... We can not wait for Thursday.....
-
August 2012. Deska Global’s offices in Fethiye
BLOG 82 Confrontation
“No, no!” he cries, and then realizing that menace is having the opposite effect to what he wants (us out, and quickly), his voice suddenly becomes soothing and syrupy:
“Don’t worry, we will turn electricity on, but please go now.”
“You’ll turn the electricity on now, right now?” I ask. “I’ll phone my daughter who is at the villa to check.”
“Tomorrow” he says quietly, “It’s too late now. The Beledye is closed now. Tomorrow, definitely” and then, as I continue to stare balefully at him: “I promise. We will pay bill and work out what you owe in final settlement.”
“And our Tapu?”
“Yes, yes, of course. That too. M is looking after that.”
“We want it now. M can give it to us now.”
He looks startled as he gazes down at me, still sitting on the floor. I’m firmly planted but OH could do with a chair.
“Please give my husband a chair. He is not well.”
K , with gritted teeth, goes to the secretary’s office and flings open the door. There is a flurry of activity as a group of girls quickly step away from behind the door where they have been bunched together, trying to hear what’s happening in the drama unfolding just outside. A chair is quickly shoved out and OH gratefully sits down. As for me, the floor is fine. I’m not moving.
K returns to us, after glancing swiftly at the conference room where the Saudis are no doubt being given the hard or soft sell and where the door remains shut.
“I’m not moving until we have our Tapu.” I tell him, “We came for it in April. It’s now August. That’s enough time.”
K holds up his hand as if to say, “Wait” and goes to another office. Silence.
We wait –
--------------------------
. . . to be continued . . .usually posted on Thursday
-
Nooooooooooooooo
Well that went quick..have you used double spacing or summat :-[
-
Err..it's Thursday.. :-[ :-* ;D
Bet everyone made a brew to settle down n read it when they saw Artymar..sorry ;) >:( ;D
-
Bernie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
ArtMar...Hope alls good..... It's Saturday.... Have you arrived?...Will you be at Angels any lunch time??...
-
Come and gone! Pretty dreadful holiday. Poor OH picked up infection (amoebic dysentary would you believe!) - went to doctor, then spent two days in Lettoon Hospital (I stayed on couch next to his bed). He was treated with IV antibiotics and IV fluids.Infection caused delusions and great agitation with refusal of treatment. We cut short our trip by two days, left hospital against their advice, went straight from Luton airport to A & E at large local hospital 30 mins from our home where he spent another two days and again insisted on going home earlier than advised. Infection now cleared but still under treatment and brain effects still evident. All in all, a terrible time - not over yet :'(
-
Have to gather docs for travel insurance claim and when things are calmer at home, I'll get back to the blog. .
-
Poor OH picked up infection (amoebic dysentary would you believe!) -
Yup, easy to believe - I know of at least three cases from Fethiye area over the past few years.
JF
-
Oh that's awful ArtMar! Poor man, as if he hasn't had enough already! You must be worried sick yourself. I hope he makes a quick and complete recovery. I think it helps if you're near your own home and not so far away.
-
Sending best wishes for a speedy recovery x
-
So sorry to hear this Arty. Sending positive thoughts and prayers.
-
Wishing your OH a speedy recovery.
-
So sorry to hear of OH illness...Thinking of you both & a speedy recovery......x
-
Wishing OH, a speedy recovery, and all the best,
-
Sorry to hear that xx Best Wishes to you both xx
-
Thanks for all your good wishes - I'll be passing them on to OH. Sadly, this may be his last trip to Turkey by the look of things - don't think I could go through something like this again. :-\
-
Oh dear Arty. Sounds as though you had a dreadful time.
Please give OH my very best regards for a full and speedy recovery.
I hope he is able to make the journey to Turkey again.
-
That's sad to hear Arty. I do hope it's not so and he makes a full recovery soon x
-
I hope that your husband recovers well soon. Where you ever given your Tapu?
-
Wishing OH a speedy recovery. We have folliwed your blog and sharing your up/down experiences and
sincerely hope 1 day you both return to turkey. Take care
-
(https://s3.postimg.org/nhd9ij2mn/surprised_dog_jpg.jpg) (https://postimg.org/image/nhd9ij2mn/)
Menthol.......That's my dog.
-
I was just wondering how ArtyMar and her husband where doing I hope all is ok missed her blog
-
To Trainer and others who have missed my blog - OH and I are pretty ok but OH has declining kidney function. After the scare we had on our last trip in September 2016 when he caught an infection and had to go to hospital both in Turkey and following that, in UK we have not returned or booked our usual June or September trips. I am just longing to go but dare not risk it with OH's health being so precarious.
What with that situation and the new rules coming in re short-term rentals, we may be forced to sell up which would be such a shame after all the struggles we have had in getting our Tapu.
Yes, you read that correctly. We did finally get our Tapu! ;D Admittedly after many ££££s paid to Sule Beder who was probably the only lawyer who could have achieved this outcome.
I used to have dreams of staying several weeks at our beautiful villa - mainly reading, swimming, eating and painting endless landscapes. Somehow I can't see that dream coming true . . . :'(
-
Great to hear from you Arty, hope things improve sufficiently for you both to realise your dreams. You pair certainly deserve it.
Keep us up to date and Best Wishes to you both. :)
-
Really good to hear from you hope you get your dream in the not to distant future
-
Exactly what Kevin said, I'm so sorry that after all your dreams you may have to give them up. However, your OH's health is paramount and nothing is worth the risk. God Bless you both. xx
-
So pleased to hear from you - sending warmest wishes to you both.
-
Lovely to hear from you again Arty. Sending very best wishes to you and OH. So pleased you got the legalities sorted, that in itself must be a weight off your mind.
-
I was only thinking yesterday how much I missed "ArtyMar's Blog" on a Thursday morning so it was lovely to see you post again. Sorry to hear things haven't been great for you and your family.
-
Lovely to see you back on the forum. Wishing you both all the very best and I do hope you make it back to Turkey and that you and your husband enjoy better health soon xx
-
Dear CBFers especially all those who followed my blog over a long period,
sadly, I now have to report that my beloved OH passed away on November 13 2017.
-
I'm so very very sorry for your loss. Condolences to you and your family at this very sad time.
Moya xxx
-
Arty so sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. Our thoughts and prayers are with you xx
-
So sorry to hear of your loss. Condolences to you and your family at this sad time x
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
-
Dear ArtyMar, we are so sad to hear about your husband our thoughts are with you and your family.
We followed your blog and enjoyed it every week, also you saved us thousands of pounds, because of a problem you had with someone so a massive THANK YOU for sharing it on this forum. Best wishes xx
-
I am so sorry to hear this. Sincere condolences.
-
Such sad news. Sending condolences to you and your family.
-
So very sorry for your loss, sincere condolences to you and your family, x
-
So sorry to hear your sad news Arty. Everyone on here admire the way you followed your dream. My thoughts and prayers
are with you and your family and I hope better times are just around the corner. God Bless you all.
-
Deepest condolences from Brenda ad me :( :( :(
-
Sorry for your loss x
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
-
So sorry to hear of your loss Arty. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
-
Sorry to hear of your loss Arty. Sincere condolences to you and your family.
-
So so sorry, you have our deepest sympathies. We enjoyed reading all of your blogs.
-
It's been a roller coaster ride for you both during this last year, and to now hear this news is so sad. Eternal rest grant unto him O Lord. And may the love of Jesus be with you always.
Love.
Dennis
-
So sorry to hear of your loss x
-
So sorry to hear of your loss my thoughts are with you at this very sad time
-
Such sad news sincere condolences from us.
-
I'm sorry to hear this !
I enjoyed your blog and looked forward to Thursdays for an update.
I hope you can find happiness in the future x
-
So very sorry for your loss, sincere condolences to you and your family,
-
Very sorry to hear of your loss Arty.
-
Cant imagine what you are going through....sincere condolences to you and your family.
-
So very sorry and sad to hear this Artymar, I too enjoyed reading your blogs, sincere condolences to you and your family x
-
So sad for you. Our sincere condolences
-
So sorry to hear of your loss....Thinking of you and your family. I have emailed you. Roger & Gillian....x
-
Very sad. Condolences from Maggie and I.
-
Sorry to hear that AM.
JF
-
Heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
-
Oh Arty, I'm so very sorry to hear your sad news.
I was only thinking of you all recently when I drove past your house in Koca Calis.
I have fond memories, especially of our day in Çalis market.
Warmest wishes.
-
Thank you all so much for your condolences. I feel sad without my darling OH constantly by my side but am wonderfully supported by my family. My sister from Oz is staying with me for the whole of Jan and we're going to see lots of West End shows - haven't had the opportunity for a long time now.
Menthol, you were wonderful to my OH, taking him to Calis market. He loved markets but they're not for me, so you did us both a big favour and he enjoyed it so much. Thank you!
Not sure when I will go back to Turkey, maybe in August with a friend - or late October.