Children Paying Rent to Parents

[Gorgeous_bird]

Jules, ask yourself, can you sit back and watch them waste the money which if you charged rent would be in your bank account. If you can then don't charge, if you can't (like me) then charge. Teenagers/young adults have a genetic predisposition to being thoughtless and selfish at times without even trying....... George moans at the fact he is charged rent.......moan away boy I believe I am practicing good parenting by charging and as yet I haven't found the book that indicates that I am either right or wrong so we have done what we feel is right and we charge what we feel is right. Regarding the room scenario, it drives me mad but I am now of the opinion that as he pays he can live in the biggest mess regarding his room, his choice. I have discovered that after a while he does do it anyway as it drives him equally as mad. As parents it is our job to make independent individuals, who can fend for themsleves and contribute to society and this to me is the way to get them on the path to independance. Best of luck!

[Firo]

They should be paying as soon as they start to earn. Both my boys had to pay and yes they moaned but how else do they learn money doesn't grow on trees. Yes you chose to have them and now you must be the responsible person to choose to charge them therefore helping them in the real world.
Both my boys now have their own homes and understand the value of money and I'm sure if they hadn't paid they'd both be still living at home freeloading from Mum & Dad.

[scouser2]

They should definately contribute to their home. When my daughter started college she received EMA (about 30 GBP), she asked me if she would still get her pocket money. I asked her to go away and think about it. She came back and said that we didn't need to give her any money, and that she would buy all her clothes, toiletries make up etc herself.This was really good for her, as when she went to university, she already knew about budgeting, and actually started an ISA with her student loans! Now after paying her rent, food and necessary bills every month, she puts half of what is left into her savings account, and the rest is her own to spend however she wants.
We have a duty to our kids to make them aware of the value of money,and that you cant have it and spend it!

[julesbob0303]

Some really interesting points.  Many thanks to all who chose to comment.  And to you, Mr H, who commented that you chose not to comment!!!!

Thanks again.  

[Anne]

quote:Originally posted by Highlander

With the greatest respect Jules, no comment.

then why answer[?]

[julesbob0303]

My thoughts too, Anne.  

[Rindaloo]

I think the easier you make it for your children, the harder you make it for yourself.  And I am not entirely sure you are appreciated for it either.

Our sons paid us for their keep once they began working.

[julesbob0303]

quote:Originally posted by Rindaloo

I think the easier you make it for your children, the harder you make it for yourself.  And I am not entirely sure you are appreciated for it either.

Totally agree Lynne.  That's part of our problem I think - we've let them get away with doing nothing for far too long!  It was easier that way when they were little - now it's a real slog trying to get them to do anything!  (It's still often easier to do things ourselves rather than battle and argue with them, especially at the end of a stressful day at work.)  And, as you say, they rarely appreciate everything we do for them.

Though we were missed whilst we were away in Calis  - probably because they had to fend for themselves for a month, and they found it bl**dy hard work!!!!  

It's going to be VERY interesting in the future to watch how they cope with a home and family of their own.  I think that's the point when they'll realise how much we did for them - we might finally be appreciated!  (Our son has certainly realised since he moved out just how easy it was at home, with nothing but a basic rent to pay, and everything provided and done for him!!!  He also often reminisces about our family holidays and realises how much we sacrificed with only one wage coming in, a large mortgage, and still we had at least one good holiday each year.  He and his girlfriend find it difficult to find the money for any holidays, and that's with two wages coming in!   )

[Rindaloo]

Yes its a different world now.  They seem to expect more, day to day (holidays, washing machines, cars), and don't want to do without.  One of our sons (29) now has a daughter and it has certainly hit him now how much we achieved at such a young age (without the help of parents, I might add).

[pookie]

Jules  -  I just asked Lottie what she would expect and her response was.  'If I was working full time and earning money, of course' and that she would expect it too be linked to the amount of money she was earning, ie: a percentage.  I said would she think £100 was reasonable, she said yes, and more if she was earning a good salary.  She then added ' how old are they...when I said 21 she said 'woow, tell her to get out - does she realise how much things cost ?!).   Since she was 16 she has had an allowance - this allows her to buy everything that she needs ie: clothes, make up , shampoos, pocket money for cinema, meals out and birthday presents.  She has leant to budget effectively and understands the value of money.  When in Turkey she spent more than her contracted minutes on her phone, and has automatically deducted that amount from her allowance this month, (without asking) in order to pay us back.  She now has a small saturday job and is saving like mad to afford university.
You have to stick to your guns on this one !!