Your favourite joke

[Highlander]

I feel sure this must have been asked before but has been prompted by the vote of the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Feastival, thus

"I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free" - Darren Walsh

[Lotty]

My favourite  is the child Grace's joke : They’re always telling me to live my dreams. But I don’t want to be naked in an exam I haven’t revised for. 

[SteveJ]

Two Polar bears are crouched down on an ice flow, the young Polar Bear whispers to old Polar bear.....

"Dad, are there any koala bears in our family?"
"No son, you are 100% polar bear, now stop bothering me and help me catch that seal"
"Dad, are there any brown bears in our family?"
"Look lad, I've told you, I'm 100% Polar Bear and so are you, now get ready to catch that seal"
"Dad, are there any grizzly bears in our family?"
"For f*cks sake, you've scared him off, what's the matter with you?"
"I'm f*ckin' freezing"
 

[Lotty]

I also liked this the no 4:  "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess

I've thought that too, it's the same as why do people say they are 'pan frying' something . .? What's that all about? what else would you fry it in?

[Stuart T]

A deep fat fryer?

[Stuart T]

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink.

The barman replies "for you, no charge".

[kevmclean2001]

Man goes in to doctors
Doctor I feel like I'm turning in to a dog
Doctor asks how long have you felt this way?
Since I was a pup!
Jump up on the couch and I will examine you?
I'm not allowed on the couch

[Stuart T]

Smoke marijuana

Take over the government

This is a high coup

[kevin3]

 Recycled oldie.

      A skeleton walks into a pub and orders a pint and a mop.   

[faymoore]

"I hate Russian dolls.. they're  so full of themselves"