When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out . I stopped and asked her what was wrong .
She said, 'I have a 22 year old husband at home . He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me pancakes, sausage, fresh fruit and freshly ground coffee . '
I said, 'Well, then why are you crying?'
She said, 'He makes me homemade soup for lunch and my favorite brownies and then makes love to me for half the afternoon .
I said, 'Well, why are you crying?'
She said, 'For dinner he makes me a gourmet meal with wine and my favorite dessert and then makes love to me until 2:00 a . m . '
I said, 'Well, why in the world would you be crying?'
She said, 'I can't remember where I live!'
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When the husband finally died, his wife put the death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea . No sooner were the papers delivered when a friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, 'You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea . '
Replied the widow, 'I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea, but I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big **** he always was . '
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Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades . Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures . Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards .
One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at me . . . . . I know we've been friends for a long time . . . . . but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it . . Please tell me what your name is . '
Her friend glared at her . For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her . Finally she said, 'How soon do you need to know?'
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I think you're supposed to pass this on . Send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are . Then something is supposed to happen . ... . . I think .
