Breaking News. Breaking News. Breaking News.
The fairy Godmother has turned down the mangers job at Newcastle.
This has come as a shock to the loyal but thick Newcastle supporters, as they were sure that with just a flick of her majic wand she could have turned the club around in 10 minutes flat.
Supporters are now turning their attention to the infalable Shearer. one loyal supporter said, " Aye i'm sure e can do it, all e need du is shine sum o that majic stuff that cums owt o is arse an w'll b owreet."
Another source close to the club said, " We've bid for some majic beans so the fans can be sure that we know what we are doing."
Allerdyce was reported to be laughing all the way to the bank.
