First Day at Religious School.
First question they ask, what do you know about God? I didn't know anything about God, Who? "God!" Who's God? "God, you do not know who God is? Sister! Sister! We have an Atheist here!" "Let me tell you little boy, God is, God was, and God always shall be..." What? "What he is!" What was that? "He is the father! He is the sun! He is the holy ghost! He is 3 in 1". "Do you understand?" I'm four years of age, why wouldn't I? Greatest Theological question in the world, three people in one... Where is he? "He is here!" Where? I can't see him. "That doesn't mean because you can't see him he's not here". It doesn't? He's in the cupboard? "He's not in the cupboard! God doesn't go into cupboards!" He's under the stairs? "He's not under the stairs! He is here, with us now. He's upstairs he's downstairs he's outside he's inside he's everywhere." He's a big bloke, why can't I see him? And I'm asked "Do you love him?" I don't know, I've never seen him. "God loves you and he wants your love, but if you do not give him your love he will cast you into ever lasting flame". What? "He will cast you into ever lasting flame, have you ever burnt yourself? Yes I burnt myself on a Candle. "What was it like?" It was sore. "Can you imagine that pain all over your body? That's what will happen to you if you do not love god! What do you think of that?" I love him!
Dave Allen