Author Topic: Things You Don't Expect to Hear in a Restaurant  (Read 2575 times)

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Offline bewva

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Re: Things You Don't Expect to Hear in a Restaurant
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2013, 20:08:38 PM »
This is reminding me of an old joke..........

A blonde canvassed a wealthy neighbourhood looking for odd jobs. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had anything for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

"How about $50?"

The man agreed and told her the paint was in the garage. A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats." Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."



Offline kenkay

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Re: Things You Don't Expect to Hear in a Restaurant
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2013, 00:00:42 AM »
I used to use a hotel in Scotland called the Pow Foulis Manor close to the Kincardine bridge. One night amongst a party of four was this "lady" who probably had to do weight training to support the gold she had on. I was sat quite close to them, not that I needed to be, as when they ordered the said in a loud brummy accent " I'd like a steak ow puvari". It was a lot funnier than it sounds in writing. 

Offline angela

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Re: Things You Don't Expect to Hear in a Restaurant
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2013, 09:40:29 AM »
Del Boy would be proud of that one,  "bonnet de douche"    :)

Offline littlereddevil

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Re: Things You Don't Expect to Hear in a Restaurant
« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2013, 09:45:21 AM »
I've had restaurants in Fethiye serving instant mash, it's pretty vile stuff especially when not made up properly

Offline Liz 101

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Re: Things You Don't Expect to Hear in a Restaurant
« Reply #14 on: March 20, 2013, 11:39:17 AM »
Many moons ago, I did industrial release in a rather posh hotel in the Lake District. The restaurant had a menu of dishes that were prepared at the table, from which people only really ordered from when they were being flashy. One such diner ordered steak tartare very well done. I struggled to keep my face straight when I explained that that dish was basically raw steak & egg  ;D

Offline Steve (redding43)

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Re: Things You Don't Expect to Hear in a Restaurant
« Reply #15 on: March 20, 2013, 11:46:22 AM »
Also many moons ago it was late at night and my wife (girlfriend at the time) felt peckish and so decided to stop by a drive through KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) on the way home......

Conversation went something like:

Me: Hi, could I have 4 pieces of chicken please with fries
KFC: Sorry we don't have any chicken pieces
OK, could I have a zinger burgers instead
No, sorry no Zinger burgers
Tower Burgers?
No, no Towers
Popcorn Chicken?
No, no popcorn,
Chicken Wings?
No.

Me: what exactly do you have at KFC?
Them: Sorry we don't have any chicken!!

Offline Liz 101

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Re: Things You Don't Expect to Hear in a Restaurant
« Reply #16 on: March 20, 2013, 12:12:38 PM »
Crikey Steve, you must have really wanted to impress - KFC no less!!

Offline Kevin Sowten

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Re: Things You Don't Expect to Hear in a Restaurant
« Reply #17 on: March 20, 2013, 13:10:53 PM »
Also many moons ago it was late at night and my wife (girlfriend at the time) felt peckish and so decided to stop by a drive through KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) on the way home......

Conversation went something like:

Me: Hi, could I have 4 pieces of chicken please with fries
KFC: Sorry we don't have any chicken pieces
OK, could I have a zinger burgers instead
No, sorry no Zinger burgers
Tower Burgers?
No, no Towers
Popcorn Chicken?
No, no popcorn,
Chicken Wings?
No.

Me: what exactly do you have at KFC?
Them: Sorry we don't have any chicken!!

Sounds a bit like the Monty Python cheese shop sketch !!!!!

Offline Kevin Sowten

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Re: Things You Don't Expect to Hear in a Restaurant
« Reply #18 on: March 20, 2013, 13:15:29 PM »

Offline Steve (redding43)

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Re: Things You Don't Expect to Hear in a Restaurant
« Reply #19 on: March 20, 2013, 14:05:21 PM »
Crikey Steve, you must have really wanted to impress - KFC no less!!

I'm classy me




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