A case involving an assault in the street was called at Hamilton Sheriff Court a number of years ago and there were a several witnesses cited to attend.
Defence lawyer to first witness: tell the court what you were doing at the time of the asault.
Witness 1: I'd just come oot the paki shop wi mah paper...
Sheriff interrupts: I'm sorry, but you cant say that - its a local Asian shop.
A few witnesses later...
Defense lawyer to new witness: Please state your full name, age and occupation.
Witness: I'm Mohammed Jamil, I'm 47 years old and I own the paki shop on the corner of Castle Street
Cue much stifled hilarity on the part of everyone present.
True story.
JF