None of that Sissy ****e.
Are ye tired o' those weey weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here are a series o' promises that actually speak of true friendship. Yee will see no cute wee smiley faces on this card!
Just the stone cold truth
o' a great friendship.
1. When ye are sad -- I will help you get stoned and plot revenge against the b*****d who made ye sad.
2. When ye are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking ye.
3. When ye smile -- I will know ye are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.
4. When ye are scared -- I will shake the p*** oot o' you every chance I get, until you're NOT.
5. When ye are worried -- I will tell ye stories about how much worse it could be until YE STOP WHINING!
6... When yer confused -- I will try to use only wee words.
7... When ye are sick -- Stay the hell away frae me until ye are well again. I don't want whatever ye've got.
8... When ye fall, I will laugh my heed aff at you, you clumsy a***,
.........but I'll help you up.
9... This is my oath.... I pledge it tae the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
Because you are my friend.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.
Send this to yer closest friends,
Then get depressed because ye can only think o' 1...
Yours
V Meldrew (AKA H)
