Since no-one on here will have the first idea, far less care, what this insane thread is all about, I'll bring it to a close.
At was late one night, which is my only defense, that I decided to vent my angry on the coffee machine at Nevada Su which during the preceding week had either not been working or had served up what can only be described as dishwater. Mrs H isn't one hundred percent sure but she thinks the conversation may have been along these lines
"Come on, start, will you!? Start, you vicious b***ard!! Come on! Oh my God! I'm warning you — if you don't start: (a loud scream of rage is heard) I'll count to three. (Brenda sees me pressing the white coffee button, without success) One:two:three:!!Right! That's it! (Mrs. H watches in horror as a leap across the restaurant and addressed the machine directly) "You've tried it on just once too often! Right! Well, don't say I haven't warned you! I've laid it on the line to you time and time again! Right! Well:this is it! I'm going to give you a damn good thrashing!" (I then rushed off, got a branch and started beating the stupid machine without mercy). It was at this point that Brenda decided to retire to bed.
Can we now lock this nonsense please:(