>
>
> Bloke at a horse race whispers to Paddy next to him, "do you want the
> winner of the next race?"
> Paddy replies "no tanks, I've only got a small garden."
>
> Paddy and Mick found 3 hand grenades and decided to take them to the
> police station.
> Mick "What if one explodes before we get there?"
> Paddy: "We'll lie and say we only found two!"
>
> A coach load of paddys on a mystery tour decided to run a sweepstake to
> guess where they were going..... the driver won £52!
>
> Paddy's racing snail is not winning races anymore. So he decided to
> take it's shell off to reduce it's weight and make him more
> aerodynamic. It didn't work, if anything it made him more sluggish.
>
> Paddy finds a sandwich with two wires stickin out of it. He phones the
> police and says "Bejesas I've just found a sandwich dat looks like a
> bomb."
> The operator asks, "is it tickin?, Paddy says "No I tink it's beef"
>
> Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're making
> love to your wife. The whole street was watching and laughing at you
> yesterday."
> Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid because I wasn't even at
> home yesterday."
>
> Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked in front of
> a tractor. Mick says, "Oh, no, Paddy, what ya doing?"
> Paddy says, "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the bedroom
> lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to a tractor."
>
> The Irish have solved their own fuel problems. They imported 50 million
> tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for their own
> oil.
>
> Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going
> to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got
> pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year
> I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant."
> Mick asks - So what are you going to do this year?."
> Paddy replies, - I'll take her with me!"
>
> Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on a Friday this year"
> Mick says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
>
> Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him. "Did you find the
> shampoo?"
> Paddy says, "Yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet mine."
>
