THE government has laid out its vision of a modern high street based around Britain's love of fighting.
Altrincham High Street is full of old women looking for a fight
Under sweeping plans to revive the nation's ailing town centres, high streets will be re-branded as 'recreational combat areas'.
A government spokesman said: "In these difficult times it's important to focus on what Britain is passionate about - violence. Clumsy, drunken, flies-down stumbling-about violence with no clear motive or purpose.
"As retail declines, 63% of people who visit town centres do so mainly for a fight and drinking, in that order. So we've created a leisure concept around that."
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