The following is dedicated to Gordy and all Scots across the world.
The average Englishman in his home he calls his castle, slips into his national costume - a shabby raincoat - patented by Chemist Charles MacIntosh from Glasgow, Scotland.
En route to his office he strides along a lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.
He may drive an English car but it will be fiited with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghom Scotland.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.
During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick McMillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfrieshire, Scotland.
He watches the news on TV an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh Scotland. and hears an item about the US Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.
Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.
He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot - King James VI - who authorised it's translation.
He could take to the drink but the Scots make the best in the world.
He could take a rifle and end it all but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.
If he escaped death, he could find himself on the operating table injected with penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, SCotland and given chloroform, an anaesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynaecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.
Perhaps the only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask..
wha's like us
The answer to the question is of course..
DAMN FEW AND THEY'RE A' DEID
Posted by a proud Scotsman meaning no offence.
