This week's blast of cold weather has revealed a desperate shortage of snowman-making skills in Britain's young people, claimed a damning survey yesterday. With widespread school closures following the winter's first heavy fall of snow, there were expectations that a major display of high-quality snowmen would suddenly appear in the country's parks and playgrounds.
However visitors to Britain were shocked to see that national snowman standards had plummetted since the last cold winter, with the worst display of snow sculptures ever recorded. ‘Your country's snowmen are bull****' said French Canadian Jean-Pierre Bertillon. ‘You are just making big lumps of slush with clichéd features that look nothing like human beings.'