Calis Beach and Fethiye Turkey Discussion Forum
General Topics => The Debating Chamber => Topic started by: Colwyn on November 14, 2013, 13:37:50 PM
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I have, in previous posts, railed against the dunderheads at Tesco telling me that one queue is reserved for "Six items or less". They have, with very bad grace corrected this, but not simply by changing the offending word to "fewer", instead they cravenly inform the customer that it is "No more than six items".
However, I've had my say on that and today my fury is directed at the Knorr company. I am making a blackberry sauce to go go with our duck breasts (also great with venison steaks). The recipe requires beef stock and I have no home-made stock suitable for this. So I am going to use shop-bought - Knorr. It tells me to put a stock cube in a jug and add boiling water. What the hell do they mean stock cube? It is nothing like a cube; not even close. OXO does cubes; Knorr does cuboids - and pretty flat ones at that (look at the photo below). They could get away with calling them tablets. But cubes? They are blithering idiots.
(http://i10.photobucket.com/albums/a138/ColwynJones/StockCubes_zps15776482.png)
Why do they do this? Are they too stupid to know better? Do they think we are too stupid to know better? Do they suppose that calling the thing a "cube" is better for marketing? Whatever the reason it is wrong and they should stop doing it. I'm sure there are hundreds of examples of this sort of stuff. Can you nominate some?
OK, I feel better now, back to the sauce. Where's my balsamic vinegar?
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i bet you feel better after that :)
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My favourite one was a sign in an opticians window which, instead of reading; "No appointments necessary " read ;" Have your eyes tested while you wait ". ???
No thanks , I,m too busy to wait, I,ll collect my eyes later, if that's alright !! : :)
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Don't get him started on punctuation Gordy!
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OOOOOOPS !! Just goes over my head now, Stoop old chap !! ;) : :)
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I'm just off to patent the name "Stock Block" and sell it to Knorr.
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Professor Rubik is not going to be happy about this.....Not one bit.
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WOW! Colwyn!
I thought I was a pedant. I can only but dream of ever achieving your level of anality (sic).
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Did you leave out an initial "b" from that word?
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More apt if the word is as she had intended ;D
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No 'b' intended but equally apt. Perhaps. ;)
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I am pretty certain this does come from Nationwide but it would help if someone in the bank would proof-read their correspondence or use a spell checker:
We're proud to be the first to introduce you to V.me by Visa, a brand new service giving you a secure and covenient way to pay for your online shopping.
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Here's one I spotted that would suit several people I know...
(http://www.calis-beach.co.uk/vacancy.jpg)
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Ho Ho. It will be difficult to top that. But I'm sure there will be a company along soon that will manage it.
P.S. Some BBC Radio 5 broadcasters have already come galloping along to supply their own example. The story was about Northerners increasing using Southern forms of pronunciation. Unfortunately they referred to this as though the word is pronounced "pronounciation" - which it isn't.
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Just seen the glitzy Christmas television advert for the Trafford Centre where they proudly proclaim you'll find 1000's of bargains.
Grrrrrr! It's a plural and not a possessive, you morons.
You'd think a retail giant like that would use a decent ad agency/copywriter...... >:(
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Whilst I admire your passion on the issue I think it would be more appropriate to accuse the Trafford centre of being outdated rather than moronic. Until relatively recently one of the many uses of the hard working, and much abused, apostrophe was to signal the plural of abbreviations. This was the case when I was educated and so I used to buy LP's in the 1960's. My then English teacher would certainly have approved the plural of 1000, as the abbreviation of thousand, being written "1000's". However, as Lynne Truss points out;"Only one significant task has been lifted from the apostrophe's workload in recent years: it no longer has to appear in the plural of abbreviations" (2009, p.46).
Being accused of being outdated is, of course, a much lesser insult; if it is an insult at all. I was using the plural abbreviation apostrophe until the current century.
Truss, L. (2009) Eats, Shoots and Leaves, London: Fourth Estate.
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Colwyn - I think I love you.
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Don't you mean you "fink's u luv 'im" ? ;)
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:-[ Menthol, you have impelled my first deliberate use of a Smiley.
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I never use Knorr as they have an extremely high salt content, far more than other cubes such as Oxo. I do use stock cubes, but I often have stock frozen in small bags in the freezer.. :D ;).
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(http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s1/onthehill1/IMG_4811.jpg)
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Are you blanking us all, or just JH?
The damned swine has edited his post again after I have replied to it. I hope he is proud of himself.
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No.
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I never use Knorr as they have an extremely high salt content, far more than other cubes such as Oxo. I do use stock cubes, but I often have stock frozen in small bags in the freezer.. :D ;).
Was my declaration of Colwyn-love so embarrassing it required this rather unsubtle and confounding change of subject, Jacqui? If so, then hats off. It worked.
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As Colwyn brought up the subject of stock cubes (not me) I thought it my duty to inform him of the dangers of the brand he was using.
I was only thinking of his health and not the politics of sticking to the changing subject matter of the thread.
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:D
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Thank you. I am aware of the high salt content of Knorr cuboids: it would be difficult not to be. I compensate by under-seasoning the rest of the meal and only use them as back-up when I have none of my own stock available and if we are out of low-salt options.
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The abused 'strophe
(http://s29.postimg.org/9hcx201wz/600907_10152096624689493_1187508617_n.jpg) (http://postimg.org/image/9hcx201wz/)
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"Most Tastiest"
TESCO have been up to their bad old tricks again. As part of their plot to despoil the English language they have now advanced their illiterate behaviour into packaging. Fortunately they have been exposed by a Somerset schoolboy (aged 15) and have now been forced into a tactical retreat. Well done Albert Gifford. One battle won but, remember, the war with the evil enemy of our linguistic inheritance goes on and Constant Vigilance must be our pledge.
http://www.sheptonmalletjournal.co.uk/Whitstone-School-pupil-sparks-Tesco-rebranding/story-20793666-detail/story.html (http://www.sheptonmalletjournal.co.uk/Whitstone-School-pupil-sparks-Tesco-rebranding/story-20793666-detail/story.html)
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In a new corporate manoeuvre Morrisons is trying to resuscitate its failing marketing strategy by attempting to rival Tesco in the illiteracy game.
Here is how the company deals with growing rocket plants:
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TOP TIP
For a continuous supply of rocket,
sew some seeds every few weeks.
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Had me in stitches.