Calis Beach and Fethiye Turkey Discussion Forum
Calis Beach Forum => Calis Beach Questions and Information => Topic started by: Scunner on June 13, 2008, 22:47:25 PM
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The last post made has been deleted and member Saucygirl is now gone from CBF. Adults couldn't get away with writing such disgusting messages and the CBF youngsters certainly won't.
One more incident like that and I'll delete the entire kid's section and up the minimum age to joining the forum to 16.
Your choice.
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Keith, have sent you an email re this.
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Got it thanks Julie.
The more I think about this the more I am thinking to close the 2 kids sections. This isn't a chat room (you wouldn't know it sometimes ;) ) it is an information forum. As I said to the mod team last night, the last thing I need is an incident happening in Calis where a young person was groomed using the Calis Beach Forum.
It's a sad reflection on today's World, but we have to think about things like this too.
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Not before time Keith, even though I believe that kids should be given a little leeway, I think most 'NORMAL' adult Forum readers were of the same opinion as myself that this particular mischief maker should have been 'nipped in the bud'.
It really is scary that some kids have no concept of the area of danger they place themselves in by using the Internet in the way that this particular little fool does. If this is an example of how she behaves on an open Forum, I really shudder to think what she leaves herself open to on MSN, or the World Wide Web.
Let's just hope she has learned her lesson on here, but she will probably 'steal', 'borrow' a mates I.D. and pop up again!! Vigilance is the new keyword, methinks.
Gordy.[:(!]
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Working in a school (partly as the school counsellor), I have come across things like this before. Kids can be "groomed" in all sorts of ways - trust your gut instinct. If you feel this is happening, or indeed that it could happen, don't even think about it - close the section down.
As the mother of three daughters, I'm not always aware of what they are up to (especially on their laptops) and it is so frightening to think how easy it is for them to arrange to meet someone without anyone else's knowledge. I just hope my own daughters have far more sense than to do something like this.
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y delete the kids section just because of 1 person
if that person joins agian then give them a warning
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Because you can't even be bothered to type "Why", and because I am not prepared to take the responsibility for things if they go wrong.
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What is the joining age of the forum?
I have met a lot of friends, including a few people who i can actually class as best friends on this forum.
It's just a suggestion, but would it not be more fair to rise the joining age rather than elimate the whole "kids section" all together?
or perhaps a "teenage" section.
It's pretty understandable as to why you want to delete the kids section, however, the majority of "kids" using the forum have never abused it.
I genuinely can't believe that "saucygirl" is 11 and using that kind of language on an internet forum though.
Lois
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sorry scunner if i was being lippy i just thought i would have a say because i am a kid
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I didn't think you were being lippy at all, that's my job ;)
It's being discussed behind the scenes, I don't want to stop young ones meeting up with new friends when they go on holiday - I can see how useful the forum can be for that. What worries me is that some people may use the forum for less pleasant reasons, like they might be an adult pretending to be a kid, and in the end it's up to me to make sure that doesn't happen.
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Yeah, understandable.
That's fair enough, maybe the age could be lifted to a slightly older age as an alternative.
Lois
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That is something to think about, but also I am thinking that maybe younger people who's parent(s) are members should not be a problem. We'll see.
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Perhaps it could be in the rules that parents must also be active members of the forum thus enabling them to keep watch on their kids too.
Still not ideal but..................
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It would work for that reason (that the parents can keep an eye on them) but would also confirm that the kids are who they claim to be.
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Yeah, some of the younger one's don't cause a problem at all, so i guess it wouldn't be fair on them.
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why not take away PM fuction for under 16s and all they can do is send posts. That way parents can see what their kids are doing on the forum?
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That's a good idea! Once kids start swapping email or msn details, or when they are readily available for all to see, the problems begin. Passing on this information face to face, because they WANT a certain person to know their details, is then their choice.
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it would be a shame that one person has wasted the forum for all the other kids. I personally dont think that saucygirl was 11.
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I agree queenie but we've got to take everyone at face value
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Hi Everyone
I have watched this topic for a bit now and a few of the things that I find increredible are these.
1 Why was a girl of just 11 years old allowed to be a member of this
forum in the fist place?
2 Why did the owner of this forum actually help her to get her photo
put on her profile when she openly stated she was only 11 years old?
3 Why was he even having banter with a girl of that age?
4 Why did not one of the moderators do anything about this until it
got this far?
5 Why is the owner of this forum looking to blame all this on an 11
year old girl.when it should have been his responsibility to ensure
young girls or boys under 13 were not allowed to become members.
Let alone to go and help and encourage them.
I have heard some members saying they did not believe the girl was actually 11 years old.But if she was or not it does not excuse the fact that everyone knew she had stated openly that she was that age.
What was done about it? Nothing at all.By the owner of this forum or any of his moderators.
Shame on you !!!
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Shame on you and your first post.
How dare you come one here and blame anyone for the actions of a so called child.
Perhaps you know her? Is that why you're here?
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1 Why was a girl of just 11 years old allowed to be a member of this
forum in the fist place?
Because up till this time, all youngsters who enjoy Calis were as welcome as anyone else. They also behaved impeccably.
2 Why did the owner of this forum actually help her to get her photo
put on her profile when she openly stated she was only 11 years old?
Because up till this time, all youngsters who enjoy Calis were as welcome as anyone else. They also behaved impeccably.
3 Why was he even having banter with a girl of that age?
Because up till this time, all youngsters who enjoy Calis were as welcome as anyone else. They also behaved impeccably.
4 Why did not one of the moderators do anything about this until it got this far?
Because up till this time, all youngsters who enjoy Calis were as welcome as anyone else. They also behaved impeccably.
5 Why is the owner of this forum looking to blame all this on an 11
year old girl.when it should have been his responsibility to ensure
young girls or boys under 13 were not allowed to become members.
Because up till this time, all youngsters who enjoy Calis were as welcome as anyone else. They also behaved impeccably.
Let alone to go and help and encourage them.
I have heard some members saying they did not believe the girl was actually 11 years old.But if she was or not it does not excuse the fact that everyone knew she had stated openly that she was that age.
What was done about it? Nothing at all.By the owner of this forum or any of his moderators.
Shame on you !!!
I only wish I had the clarity of vision you have, with all the benefit of hindsight we didn't have
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Great intro Supermorn!!! I think scunner is doing a thankless task in identifying the problem and considering solutions. Things like this can slip through in quiet periods before he or the mods can sort it out. As soon as they realised the problem it was sorted. Whats the problem?
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I also have a bloody life outside CBF!
Well I did
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Well said Keith:D
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Internet grooming is a very serious issue and thankfully CBF take it seriously. There is good advice on the forum about taking care when posting and protecting young people. Personally I think people under a certain age ought to have someone else validate their profile details. Perhaps this someone else can be another member or parent. The age 14 and under is probably about right. The fact there have been so few concerns raised previously should be seen as evidence of a well run forum. But best to be vigilant at all times - as we seem to be now. Also I think adults members should not misrepresent their age and if this has happended for what ever reason they should correct it or state they are over 18 or something.
TB
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I don't need to justify my handling of anything on CBF to a one time poster but I feel that it may be worthwhile for more loyal and longstanding members if I gave a brief resume of the events that brought us to where we find ourselves.
The initial introduction of this girl was fairly standard and unremarkable. A follow up topic asking about tattoo's became a little more alarming and I cut it short and locked it. A version 2 of this subject was started and due to the tone was also locked. At a later time the girl posted saying that she was having problems getting her photograph to show in her profile and I rectified that, I felt that maybe I had been a little harsh in locking the two tattoo topics, and I genuinely don't want to alienate the Calis loving youngsters; indeed, young people making friends with other young people who share a love of the place was something I liked to see. I'd love my kids to one day be able to meet children of a similar age who are coming over.
Now, at the same time the mod team were expressing grave concerns about this particular individual, most notably the age claimed. It is on record that I wasn't convinced there was any great cause to worry, kids grow up so quickly these day etc. etc...
The truth is that my only concern with these young folk was that they often type in this appalling "text speak" which makes reading and understanding what the hell they are talking about so difficult for the rest of us - I am of course aware of the threat of internet grooming but the very idea that it could happen on CBF had never once occurred to me. The whole episode has made me starkly aware of the possibility but I still do not believe there was anything of this nature going on on CBF.
Text speak aside, I have been very impressed by our younger members. This is an opinion taken from over 4 years of running CBF, and I still feel happy that our junior members have made strong and lasting friendships that began right here. How many of us have found amazing friends through this forum, friends that we would never have met otherwise? I'd say my personal count is around 70 (don't forget that I met many more because they bought from me, so I'd have known them anyway) - so we could be talking about possibly 10,000+ friendships, all from the Calis Beach Forum. That's pretty impressive. So why should it be restricted to the adults?
Getting back to the recent "events". Our "individual" posted a most distasteful reply to the daughter of one of our adult members, which Anne deleted within minutes, but copied and sent to me. It was enough to ban any member, not just an 11 year old. So the ban happened as soon as I could get on.
Criticism of me and our superb moderator team come with the territory. Personally, attacks on the mod team irritate me more than attacks on myself - I've been accused of everything imaginable and wear the rhino skin with pride nowadays. I think the mods are just about the same now :)
What I can't accept is that I/the mods caused this situation - in fact, we were on to it way before most people would have suspected a thing. The only mistake the mod team made was allowing me to run with the idea that they were overreacting. I'll carry the can for that one.
I am buoyed by the reaction of the younger members through this episode. Once again they show great maturity in understanding the situation and furthermore by offering ideas on how to navigate through and out of it. How can a website owner in his 40's not take on board the opinions offered; how can I argue with their view that one rogue youngster should not be allowed to spoil it for all the good ones?
It was, is and will be my opinion that a love of Calis brings us all together - whatever our age. We will work on ways to make this a website for ALL lovers of Calis. I don't want to dump the kid's sections but if that is the answer, I will without hesitation. It would be nice if just now and again, certain people would try and imagine what the CBF team have to weigh up and deal with. If you ban someone you are wrong (don't want anyone that doesn't agree with the moderator/admin team) and if you don't ban them you are happy to turn a blind eye to trouble. We're not after awards for our work, just please understand that we try to do the right thing in an environment where no matter what you do, a small percentage is lying in wait, ready to pounce.
A football question in the Calis Beach forum. Sack the board. We aren't even talking about the kids now, or maybe we are! The rules are there because forums without rules can become anarchic overnight, but that doesn't mean it's a rigid board or format. We try to be flexible. As one example of this, I am 100% happy to see a topic where a question is asked, an answer given that is correct and is followed by a large number of posts that are unhelpful but humourous - the board served it's purpose and a question was answered. So bloody what if, from that point forwards we find members chipping in stupid comments? The rules will never be enough to govern 4,600 members and 160,000 posts - they are there as a guide but we can have a bit of banter and fun over and above. Something is in the wrong section? Says who...it isn't a specific science. Imagine someone really wants to know if they can pay their phone bill at their bank. Should it be in "Telephones and Mobiles", or "Banks, Interest, Transfers, Insurance". Truth is, I'm the boss and I haven't got any idea on that. For all my caustic retorts, I'm totally happy for it to be in either, just don't post it in "Places to Stay" ;)
I'm now aware that what started as a short post became a long one. So I'll wrap it up with a brief resume. We'll sort out the kid's section problem, the CBF team are already on it. What I would ask is that if you disagree with something, you can email me via my profile, I'll always answer. Personal attacks towards the moderator team are exactly that - trouble making, weak appraisals made by nameless, hotmail account holding spineless individuals. I'm very visible in Calis, if you feel the way you do when you post, come and tell me to my face. Unlikely though, isn't it?
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Only to say,I thought that your last long post was "bang on the money".Well played!
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it seems strange to me that a stranger can come on CBF site and cause so much havoc over what seems to me an open and shut case, keith does have a day job and as a father is aware of his responibility as all parents should be towards childern.i never saw what this young girl post's as I have never visited kids section and my 3 year old is only interested in sea side,castles, and ice cream long may it continue.
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Scunner, as a Parent, I would like to take the time to thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I have a 14 year old daughter and know how easy it is for youngsters to fall into the wrong hands, without them even knowing it. My daughter doesn't post on here, but often reads threads that Mr Pookie or I have found interesting, funny or relevant. We are quite strict with any access she has to internet sites etc and she has been educated into the dangers of internet usage, (along, I may add, with the huge wide world of wonderful things and information that she can research and find out..) If more people took time to keep an eye on things and act accordingly (as you have done Keith), the place would be a far safer and more enjoyable place for our kids. Keep up the good work. [:X][:X]
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Thank God for you and your team Scunner. You all do a wonderful job and I know how well you look after the forum. Don't be disheartened by the few. The many value you, your team and this wonderful facility. Thankyou.
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Hi All
If my post annoyed you and made you angry I am very pleased.It was not meant to be a post praising you up as to how you handled this ridiculous situation. It was meant to hopefully make you actually do something positive about it.
It seems it has and as a parent I am very pleased about that.
Thank you for reading and listening and doing something to avoid this ever happening again.I think the moves you have made to ensure that new younger members are genuine by linking them to their parents is a very good idea and hope it works and I am sure it will.
Thank You.
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Hi
Yes, your post annoyed me. You didn't have the decency to wait to see what was being done. Nor have you filled in a proper profile which is I suppose your way of staying anonymous. It's very easy to comments when no one knows who you are.
Keith and the moderators were all aware of what was happening, watching constantly behind the scenes and working to improve the situation.
I can understand that as a parent you were worried. We all were, but while it's simple to ban the offender other steps had to be taken to ensure that this sort of thing doesn't happen again.
Thankyou for at least taking the time to come back and explain the reason behind your post. There's not many take the time to do that.
Welcome to the forum :D
Anne
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quote:
Originally posted by sumermorn
Hi All
It was meant to hopefully make you actually do something positive about it.
We were doing something positive about it, it had nothing to do with you or anything you posted. Your opinion is unimportant to us. We value the opinions of all members who don't hide their identity.
Your post is about the danger people can cause when they aren't honest about who they are. To me you are one of them.
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and there was me trying to be nice lol
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Yes I know, it doesn't suit you ;)
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quote:
Originally posted by sumermorn
Hi All
If my post annoyed you and made you angry I am very pleased.It was not meant to be a post praising you up as to how you handled this ridiculous situation. It was meant to hopefully make you actually do something positive about it.
It seems it has and as a parent I am very pleased about that.
Thank you for reading and listening and doing something to avoid this ever happening again.I think the moves you have made to ensure that new younger members are genuine by linking them to their parents is a very good idea and hope it works and I am sure it will.
Thank You.
You should run form Prime Minister - bigging yourself up for an idea that wasn't yours:D- how about an introduction ?
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Or even a real name? Pathetic really.
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I have to say Anne, I think you were very polite in your reply above. Had I been able to reply at the time I don't think I would have been so reserved. It amazes me how people can state such things (on there first post) yet have not chosen to do so previously if concern was really that great
Steve
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I think (like the majority of cbf's members) that this forum is fantastic :D and should be enjoyed by all, young and old. There are only a few who spoil it (and they are rarely kids). The team do an amazing job to keep it ticking over so well, ensuring we all enjoy the huge amount of information given, and the (occasional!) banter between members. :)
Keith, you know my feelings on this one, and I just want to thank you for sorting it out when you did, alerting me and bringing it to an abrupt end. :)
Hopefully, we can all now get back to enjoying the forum - and the real reason we ALL joined - we love Calis and the surrounding areas and want to find out as much information as we can, and maybe even meet some new friends along the way. 8)
Julie (and Bob, of course!) :):D 8):D :)
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And I haven`t said a word, :D 8) :P : :)
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Parents need to keep their kids safe not some moderator or some forum owner!
Educate your kids to be careful & vigilent.
If some thing untowold happens lets hope there are people like scunner and his moderator team to shut things down quickly.
In hindsight sight Saucygirl was trouble - an 11 giving herself a name like that & the subject of her texts were pretty adult. I ask was she a plant.
As for rules for the kids forum - ask the kids to come up with their rules, kids our our future & are more then capable of putting together their own citeria and can probably run the country better then Gordon.
As Scunner says most kids behaviour is impeccable - unlike there grammar or spelling!
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:Dtheir:Dsorry
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I hope nothing untowold happens to you Amanda for such a comment
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and unlike my spelling and gammar!
I do take a bit more care at work honest Miss!
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quote:
Originally posted by lmaddy
In hindsight sight Saucygirl was trouble - an 11 giving herself a name like that & the subject of her texts were pretty adult. I ask was she a plant.
You mean a plant like "Poison Ivy,or Deadly Nightshade".lol. :)
Sorry Imaddy I could'nt resist it.Appropriate names for her though I feel.
Blimey I've only been away for 3 days and the forums gone kids crazy. jono.
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sorry,couldn't resist.my spelling is getting worse as i get older!!!