Calis Beach and Fethiye Turkey Discussion Forum

General Topics => All things that have nothing to do with Turkey => Topic started by: Highlander on December 29, 2009, 21:38:50 PM

Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Highlander on December 29, 2009, 21:38:50 PM
Why is that every time I use Pledge furniture polish, it comes out in a thick liquid mush rather than a fine spray:(.


Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: scouser2swife on December 29, 2009, 22:11:29 PM
You doing the housework then? :D
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: bewva on December 29, 2009, 22:34:13 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Highlander

Why is that every time I use Pledge furniture polish, it comes out in a thick liquid mush rather than a fine spray:(.






Cos it needs a womans touch:D
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Scunner on December 29, 2009, 22:35:29 PM
Because it's a tin of squirty cream
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Highlander on December 29, 2009, 22:46:15 PM
The world is a full of mysteries to me. For example, it is a mystery to me why people leave trolleys smack in the middle of narrow aisles in Tescos and wander off to look at stuff which is miles away:(
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Scunner on December 29, 2009, 22:53:01 PM
Or as an opposite to that, why do people use their trolley and themselves to barricade you away from a whole section - then spend hours pondering two different tins of garden peas, fully in the knowledge that they are preventing you reaching any tin at all.
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Highlander on December 29, 2009, 23:02:22 PM
Experienced an example of that earlier today. At the drinks section  strangely. This muppet was stood leaning against shelf with the cans of Guinness I wanted to buy studying which whiskey (which presumably he wanted to buy) on the aisle opposite
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Scunner on December 29, 2009, 23:38:03 PM
I have studied supermarkets to full amateur level for many years and have informed Mrs Scunner on many of my findings, one of which the law that states it is better to be third in one till queue, than next in another but behind old duffers. Recently we went together and I was pleased to see she had taken that little pearl of wisdom in.

Behind us at the till in Morrisons, a little old lady joined our queue, with just a pack of bacon in her hand. When our turn came, we looked at our full trolley and then the old lady and there was only one thing to do, and Mrs Scunner ushered the old lady through to buy her little pack of bacon. Us waiting for 60 seconds was fair enough when you consider how long the old lady would have to had waited for us.

Oh no, nothing is as simple as that, even when it comes to thinking of others and doing a good turn. The woman had, somewhere, a 50p off voucher. Could she find it? She recalled seeing it next to her handbag just before she left home and was absolutely certain she hadn't left it at home. The till operator's suggestion that she may have put it in her purse was greeted as being unlikely but worth a try. After an absolute age, a 50p voucher was finally produced. There is a God. Ah but no. It's 50p off bacon, and yes it is this brand of bacon, but it's 50p off when you buy two packs. The old lady is shown the voucher, specifically where it says 50p off 2x packs but the writing is too small. She fumbles in her coat pockets. I give Mrs Scunner a look that can only mean "If she is going to spend another 5 minutes searching, but this time for her glasses, I am going to have a temporary nervous breakdown and the old lady is going to suffer death by windpipe obstruction caused by vacupak". She gives up on the whole glasses idea and for about the fourth time informs the till lady that old people would never use two packs of bacon. Then she remembers, her neighbour works for Morrison and she said it would be ok! - but she can't remember her name. She takes time to try, a little too much time. She is immune to heavy sighs, theatrical walking away in pure frustration and even slap drumming of rubber conveyor belts, to the beat of "pay for it or die of natural causes you old cow". In the end, she doesn't get the 50p off. She explains that two packs less 50p would be a false economy for someone of her age, so not only has it taken 20 minutes to ascertain she won't be getting 50p off her bacon, she didn't buy the bloody bacon!!!

The moral of the story is, rather than using chivalry when it comes to senior citizens, ignore them completely.
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Jacqui Harvey on December 29, 2009, 23:43:12 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Highlander

Experienced an example of that earlier today. At the drinks section  strangely. This muppet was stood leaning against shelf with the cans of Guinness I wanted to buy studying which whiskey (which presumably he wanted to buy) on the aisle opposite


He must have been an Irish Muppet if he was looking at Whiskey was it Jamesons? my husband always drank this until he discovered Scottish Whisky :D[^]
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: heather07 on December 30, 2009, 00:19:27 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Scunner


Behind us at the till in Morrisons, a little old lady joined our queue, with just a pack of bacon in her hand. When our turn came, we looked at our full trolley and then the old lady and there was only one thing to do, and Mrs Scunner ushered the old lady through to buy her little pack of bacon. Us waiting for 60 seconds was fair enough when you consider how long the old lady would have to had waited for us.




You should have diverted her to baskets only or self serve an instructed Mrs S to start unpacking.  Politeness does NOT work.
Good thinking doing shopping in twos though.:D
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: dreamon on December 30, 2009, 08:46:36 AM
Anybody noticed,at weekends, the whole country is being run by 16 year olds, none of whom can operate a till. :D
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: heather07 on December 30, 2009, 09:41:16 AM
quote:
Originally posted by dreamon

Anybody noticed,at weekends, the whole country is being run by 16 year olds, none of whom can operate a till. :D



All newly trained and wanting to know if you have had a good day.   Like they care.: :)

Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Highlander on December 30, 2009, 09:46:57 AM
Perhaps one of the greatest mysteries of all, what the hell I pay my Council's Roads Department to do.:(.

PS this is rapidly turning into the Grumpy Old Men Section :)

Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Firo on December 30, 2009, 09:47:31 AM
Scunner..PMSL...got to be in the running for best funny story  :D 8) ;)

In my youth I was always taught, by my elders, to respect my elders but in my many years in the retail sector I have noted that the rudest, ignorant people you will ever come across are senior citizens. They seem to hit a certain age that, they think, gives them the right to say" At my age I can do and say anything"
My own mother is a prime example of this mindset. ;)
Fi
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Jacqui Harvey on December 30, 2009, 10:28:43 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Highlander

Perhaps one of the greatest mysteries of all, what the hell I pay my Council's Roads Department to do.:(.

PS this is rapidly turning into the Grumpy Old Men Section :)




Totally agree H, the pavements have never been gritted in our area and everyone is walking on the roads.  There are so many cases of broken bones at the hospitals due to falls and to top it all, all the salt has been sold out of the Supermarkets as people are turning to clearing the pathways themselves.  We were just saying that  Scotland should take a lesson from Turkey and use the prisoners to clear the paths this weather, instead of them sitting in warm cells and watching T.V. [:(!]
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: tinkerman on December 30, 2009, 10:31:22 AM
Ah that explains why I havent seen any snow yet:D
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: heather07 on December 30, 2009, 11:17:50 AM
Firo
The worst I have ever come across with that attitude was two old biddies on Motability scooters who crashed into my car and dented it.

"We are entitled to be out too" they told me.
I was lost for words and they escaped before I spotted the dents.
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: badger on December 30, 2009, 12:07:31 PM
Scunner..PMSL...got to be in the running for best funny story  :D 8) ;)

 A late entry for funniest story of 2009 ?  :D


Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Scunner on December 30, 2009, 12:10:32 PM
What's funny about it
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Diverbaz 1 on December 30, 2009, 12:16:21 PM

It happened to you and not us:D:D:D
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Scunner on December 30, 2009, 12:35:32 PM
Another mystery

I understand why email spammers may think I want viagra, an Eastern European bride and expensive software really cheap.

But why do so many think I want to buy a watch? :D
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Diverbaz 1 on December 30, 2009, 12:59:09 PM
cos you're a perv.:D: :)
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Scunner on December 30, 2009, 13:28:02 PM
Do pervs wear watches then Baz :D
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: tinkerman on December 30, 2009, 15:55:31 PM
Why on Turkish television can I watch a lot of violent films ,Saw 4 last week, murders and sex scenes,
but I cant watch someone having a fag cause its pixilated:D,
if I could watch it I probably wouldn't notice:D
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: tiddly winks on December 30, 2009, 22:15:13 PM
quote:
Originally posted by heather07

quote:
Originally posted by dreamon

Anybody noticed,at weekends, the whole country is being run by 16 year olds, none of whom can operate a till. :D



All newly trained and wanting to know if you have had a good day.   Like they care.: :)





Watch what you say. Sometimes we do care. :P
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Honey Bee on December 30, 2009, 22:37:15 PM
you always care:D
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Scunner on December 30, 2009, 22:39:07 PM
In Tesco, they always ask if I need help with packing. I do, but I say no.
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: heather07 on December 31, 2009, 03:24:37 AM
No offence TW grumpy old woman tongue in cheek remark.  Met some lovely teenagers at the tills.  Also met some who would rather be in their bed though ;)
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: tiddly winks on December 31, 2009, 11:34:55 AM
Haha, well if it's something like 8-10 in the morning, then most would want to be in bed definately. That's why I'm looking for waitressing work  ;)
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Highlander on January 02, 2010, 16:28:45 PM
Why there isn't a single public toilet open along the 148 mile coastal route from Aberdeen to his house in the Highlands.

Brought a whole new meaning to being bladdered.
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: laffa on January 03, 2010, 00:07:01 AM
 :o What, not even a lay-by or a little bush,
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: heather07 on January 03, 2010, 07:46:31 AM
quote:
Originally posted by laffa

 :o What, not even a lay-by or a little bush,



Minus 10 some nights up here Laffa-- bushes are out: :)
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: scorcher on January 03, 2010, 09:28:40 AM
I've always been mystified by so called "self cleaning ovens" !
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: heather07 on January 03, 2010, 09:32:30 AM
quote:
Originally posted by scorcher

I've always been mystified by so called "self cleaning ovens" !



Never seen one clean itself yet: :)
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: laffa on January 03, 2010, 13:18:52 PM
 :o Heather, minus 10, poor H,s leathers would be like cardboard,not to mention, his toggle. ;)
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: ronzeus on January 03, 2010, 15:36:15 PM
How the hell Wes Brown has been capped for England on many occasions ?,more baffling than ufos.
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: dreamon on January 03, 2010, 16:49:04 PM
Why do you never see any baby pigeons [?]
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: laffa on January 03, 2010, 18:05:51 PM
Cos the ducks are eating them. 8)
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Highlander on January 03, 2010, 18:11:52 PM
How in heaven's name I can be told that I am overweight and 75 years old just by standing on a piece of plastic :o:(
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: tinkerman on January 03, 2010, 18:32:03 PM
A piece of plastic can take you round the world these days H
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Scunner on January 03, 2010, 19:09:42 PM
And if you don't stop whinging we'll buy you one
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Highlander on January 03, 2010, 22:50:36 PM
Priceless :)
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: Highlander on January 09, 2010, 15:29:05 PM
Why Mrs H quite often can't hear what I've said when I'm sitting but a few feet away from her, and yet can hear every word when I mutter some criticism of her under my breath in another room.:(
Title: The great mysteries of the world
Post by: heather07 on January 09, 2010, 18:04:08 PM
Been caught have we?