Calis Beach and Fethiye Turkey Discussion Forum
General Topics => Jokes => Topic started by: Dennis Vint on October 18, 2012, 19:24:47 PM
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To any teacher of the English language in Calis Beach...............Best of luck!
The English Plural
according to....
We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Why shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and there would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
We find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
Grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them,
What do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speakingEnglish
Should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship...
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
While a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
In which your house can burn up as it burns down,
In which you fill in a form by filling it out,
And in which an alarm goes off by going on.
And in closing..........
If Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop.????
Compilation Copyright Wink Creations
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;D ;D ;D
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very good ;D ;D
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Turkish "pluralising is so much simpler !!
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Absolutely brilliant. This is something I've often thought about and I can think of many more anomalies.
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While we moan about how difficult Turkish is to learn (and it is!) there are so many anomalies like the ones above that make English tricky for those who didn't learn it as mother tongue.
To listen to the examples pointed out by Turkish friends is the best way.
Dr. Can (legendary owner of Carretta Apartments) speaks really excellent English but explained to me how hard it can be. 'You say "on the bus" but "in the car" - something I bet most English speakers have never given a single thought to.
Another Turkish friend couldn't understand how it could be possible that you can send someone information on a building project, but not "informations" if you sent them info on two projects :)
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Also another strange one, what do you think this word sounds like: 'GHOTI'
It actually sounds like 'FISH',
Gh as in tough = F
O as in women = I
It as in lotion = SH
FISH
Wierd Linguistics eh?
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Brill ???