Calis Beach and Fethiye Turkey Discussion Forum
General Topics => All things that have nothing to do with Turkey => Topic started by: Scunner on April 11, 2013, 20:26:40 PM
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Facebook is full of amateur philosophy, most of it utter claptrap or slush, and most of it spread by people who rarely have anything profound to say themselves :D
But one got me thinking a few days ago and I am still occasionally pondering it:
"Other people's opinion of you is none of your business"
Could that possibly have any truth or be correct?
I know I ponder rubbish sometimes ;)
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I like it, I spend too long worrying about other people's opinion of me and actually it is, in my new found opinion, non of my beeswax! Now I need to remember this!
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The present Mrs H's opinion is that it is true.
PS Can you delete my post on this eleswhere please
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Eh? :D
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It's in the New park Deliktas topic....Oh H ! ;D
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Eh was to GB, I was with her all the way till the beeswax.
I don't care much what people think these days - but I can't accept that it is none of my business! I am the subject of something that is nothing to do with me? That can't be right :D
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I disagree in one way-
From being a child I have adjusted my behaviour based on reactions from those around me - like a scowl from my lovely Mum for being naughty to a hug from a school chum for being nice to her. I carried on being nice and we're still best friends.
As an adult I want to know if I am behaving in a way that others don't like so I can stop it or so I can relax if I'm getting it right.
(Now before I sound too much like a 'please be my friend' wimp..... If I don't care much for you and what you stand for then I don't give a flying fig what you think.)
In another way, their opinions being none of my business-
If you try too hard to find out what someone thinks of you.........it could end in tears!
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Beeswax = business?
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I've noticed that almost without exception, the people who don't like me are total idiots.
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I like you. So there are always exceptions to the rules :)
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Beeswax = business?
Correct!
I spent my whole childhood trying to please my father and my step mother, and my behaviour is very much geared towards this, always wondering if I was in trouble and I just can't help this it comes naturally, I dare to be myself from time to time but on the whole I'm the person they punished me into being. I often worry about what people think but in reality it doesn't matter, if I think about the life I led as a child, I think I'm bloody marvellous and that's what matters, but I can't wear a badge that says, I was beaten, I was punished, I was starved, to make people think the same, so either I modify my behaviour or people deal with it, more and more its option number 2 :-)
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I agree with you to a point and I had to learn that lies made about you are compliments because it shows you unsettle the people making up the stories - and therefore you are correct that you can only be you, or be someone else, the person you think people would prefer you to be. People can take me as I am or move these days.
BUT
Their opinion of me, however nice, complimentary, nasty or down right slanderous it might be IS my business if I decide I want it to be!
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To be perfectly frank, ( I'm NOT Frank, by the way, I'm Gordon), others opinions of me, whatever/whoever they are, do not even feature in my concerns . In other words, I couldn't give the proverbial rats' a*se what others think, apart of course, from my Darling Loz.
It is a very profound, thought provoking point though, to some, NOT I !! Also, if anyone has a dislike of me, I am not the one with a problem, they are, 'cos I'm a gentleman, and very well mannered as well, too, also !! ;D ;)
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I couldn't give the proverbial rats' a*se what others think,
Yes I understand that, I agree with that. But the question is not that. The question again: Is what people say about you none of your business!
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I would say it is my business! However it might be easier if it wasn't any of my business, because if I heard something hurtful or disagreeable, I might respond with a right hook!
:o
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It would be your business if the opinion is formed from falsehoods and as such affected you adversely
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That's pretty much my opinion too Toky. I don't know half the stories that were put around about me I'm sure, and I know there was a slander factory set up in my honour some years back. I can still find out if I wanted to, but I don't - it's irrelevant to me.
BUT, it is my business if I choose it to be :)
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I would say it is my business! However it might be easier if it wasn't any of my business, because if I heard something hurtful or disagreeable, I might respond with a right hook!
:o
Got me in one Toky. I also agree with Gordon. Who cares? Love me or leave me that's my motto and I'm sticking to it
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Ok Anne, firey little barmad from hell Anne...:D
Let's say someone you know vaguely in Calis is telling people you stole money from a handbag in Scarlett Bar and they saw it with their own eyes.
Who cares? You don't care what they are spreading, just ignore them - that's what you just said?!
My money is on an alternative reaction, that you would have them by the neck, 12" off the floor within 10 minutes of hearing the gossip ;)
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But that's a lie, not what someone thinks of you??
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Years ago Keith I would have started world war two to defend myself. Now that I'm more mature (past it) and know who my real friends are I honestly couldn't care less. The truth always comes out in the end as you know only too well.
Life is too short to worry what others think of you but yes, it's your business if it comes to light. How the individual deals with it is entirely their choice.
Then again maybe just one head flush down the loo ;D ;D
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It is an opinion that Anne is a thief :D
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I'm not entirely sure Anne but something in the back of my mind is telling me there was already a World War 2 :D
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I don't give a crap what anyone thinks about me - apart fro me - and I like myself.
:)
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Everyone is saying the same things. I know most of us believe we don't care what others think about us. But
1. That wasn't the question :)
and
2. When people are talking about us, nearly all of us do care.
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I do. I'm hopelessly thin-skinned.
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I couldn't give the proverbial rats' a*se what others think,
Yes I understand that, I agree with that. But the question is not that. The question again: Is what people say about you none of your business!
does it not depend on the source of the opinion, and whether it's personal or professional, or whether it's spoken or written or implied. (getting a bit deep here !!)
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No
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and would it matter any more (or less) if the opinion was good or bad ( I suspect I know the answer ;) )
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I think that while the opinion of the sad individual does not matter, the propagation of it is generally of concern. But again, in all the cases/options you listed, it is impossible that the opinion of you is none of your business :D
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I find this quite a difficult question. Obviously the easy answer is "I don't give a damn".
However ... when I was a working man I had a job in which, in important ways, my public reputation in my profession was relevant to my career. For example, in order to gain promotion I had to show that only did I have esteem from my peers on a national level but also that I had an international reputation - as affirmed by my panel of international referees. It is probably fortunate that this did not really dawn upon me until close to the end of my career. I had spent my time doing and saying more-or-less what I liked and it was only later that I recognized that other people liked it too.
I also published quite a lot of stuff. Now one thing an author needs is readers; if nobody reads what you written then you haven't really "published" it. It is just some dusty old thing sitting on a shelf somewhere. So I did care what readers thought.
I was also for many years a (voluntary, unpaid) trade union representative. I was supposed to speak for other people - for my union branch at regional level and for my region at national level - and so obliged (so I thought) to report back to them so they could decide whether they liked it or would want to elect somebody else to represent them.
In these ways other people's opinions were important to me. I suppose I would say they were definitely my business. But I wouldn't necessarily change anything I did, or am doing. because of the opinion of others.