"I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit
like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If
you've got even half a scrotum it's not going to happen."
"[About Porsche Cayman S] There are many things I'd rather be doing
than driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off
stage in a sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean"
..."the last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician
stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air
saying there will be no war with Germany"
"America: 250 million w****rs living in a country with no word for
w****r"
On the Alfa Romeo Brera... "I only have to imagine this in black,
with tan leather and I'm nursing a semi!"
Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster - 'It couldn't pull a
greased stick out of a pig's bottom'
On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR:
"there is a word to describe this car: it begins with "s" and ends
with "t" and its not "soot".
Hammond:"So its fairly terrible then?"
Clarkson:"Oh no...losing your leg is fairly terrible: this is another
league of badness!"
"some say, that he used to throw microwave ovens at homeless people -
and that he long before anyone else realised that jade goody is a
racist pig faced waste of blood and organs............all we know, is
that he's called the Stig!"
"the Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an
Ethiopian transvestite"
"Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary...
That's what gets you."
'The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in
the dashboard blowing at you through a straw'
"Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More
comfortable than what... BEING STABBED?"
"The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater
convertible was Adolf Hitler"
