The Grim Reaper came for me last night, and I beat him off with a vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.
I've just had a letter back from Screwfix. They said they regretted to inform me that they're not actually a dating agency.
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified.
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get
reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said "I would like to come back as a cow". I said "you're obviously not listening."
Hi mate I don't want you to panic but I'm texting you from the casualty. Turns out the new Dyson Ball cleaner isn't what I thought it was.
