Tommy and Mary were at a family wedding, Tommy was taking a lot of photos, Mary says 'Tommy will you take some good photos of me because usually the ones you take make me look sh*ite. Tommy says 'Mary.... in real life you look sh*te'. Needless to say she's not speaking to him now. 
LOL, that old saying comes to mind buddy "You can't make a Silk purse out of a Pigs ear"

Silly Mary for asking in the first place

You don't happen to have a photo of 'Mary' do you?
