The father presents evidence that the wife hits the poor boy whenever he misbehaves the slightest. The mother reveals evidence that the father would get belligerently drunk and use his belt on the boy.
The Judge suggests letting the boy live with his grandfather, but it turns out that almost everyone in this twisted family has a history of domestic violence. Not wanting to subject the poor boy to a life of physical punishment, the court decided to take a recess to brainstorm what to do with the son. The court eventually comes to a historic and unprecedented conclusion:
The boy would be in custody of the England national football team because they're incapable of beating anyone.
