Based on 6 weeks staying in the UK at my dear old ma's:
1. There is only one way to load a dishwasher. It isn't yours.
2. There is no panic like the panic that sets in when it is realised that Doctors has already started.
3. If it's in the fridge you don't need to ask, you can have it. Until the one time you don't ask.
4. Don't buy Tesco Finest gin. They use different "Jupiter Berries".
5. Hanging out washing is not a case of pegging damp clothes on a line. It is a specific science which you ignore at your peril.
6. People assume that the person you are pushing in a wheelchair has brain damage, even though they can see the leg cast.
7. Ironing "doesn't do itself".
8. Nobody stands outside Sports World in Dundee shouting "cheaper than Calis market", even though it is true.
9. Tesco "Buy one get one free" offers don't mean half price. They mean you use one and eventually chuck the other one in the bin.
10. Don't offer to make people a cup of tea. Especially if you have been there for 3 weeks and have to ask where the tea bags are kept.
