As from Friday you may want to keep a look-out in Calis for a woman fitting the following description.
Barely five foot two tall with a hunch back. A pale complexion with wrinkled features and a large wart on her nose. Can often be seen walking up and down the front, dressed in black, wearing a funny hat and carrying a stick, trying to sell a selection of fake lucky heathers. Has an abrupt manner and will whack with her stick if you dare refuse to buy any of her wears. Has a reputation for drinking heavily and gets very aggressive after a few gin and tonics.
I know it will be difficult, but please don't mistake the woman described above for the gorgeous Mrs H who co-incidently will be in town at the same time.
If you see either of them, perhaps you might want to say hello.
