Now I would like you to know that I am NOT so grumpy that I think the death penalty should be imposed for theft . . . but this item did make me laugh out loud when I just heard it on the steam wireless.
An 18-year-old from County Durham was found on fire after trying to steal live electrical cable carrying 11,000 volts, police said. The teenager, from Darlington, suffered extensive burns to his arms and head during the incident at derelict buildings in Newton Aycliffe. He was taken to Newcastle's Royal Victoria Infirmary where his condition is described as serious.
It reminds me of another incomptent criminal wannabe story from some 20 years ago.
A hopeful thief presented himself in front of the plate glass window of a jeweler's store. Looking around for something with which to smash the window he spotted (what we used call) a "manhole cover". So he yanked it out and prepared to throw it through the window. Deciding he needed a bit of a run up to launch this heavy weight he stepped back.
And fell down the uncovered manhole. From where the police had to release him when they arrived. And then arrest him.