advice from teachers or anyone really!

[crystalgirl]

I am very undecided what to do, and don't know if anyone has had experiences with this.  My daughter start ana sinfi last september, and she found it very difficult, she found it hard being away from me, and being in an environment where she didn't understand what was on, and for 7 months she was ill on and off with sickness that I reckon was caused by stress, she would cry near enough everyday for 7 months, and finally she started to get a little better and started to understand it, she was quickly labelled the cry baby, and she is super sensative, although at home she doesn't cry like that and she is a joy to be with, we love being together.  Anyway, I spoke to my daughter about er feeling regarding school, she obviously doesn't like being the odd one out, even though there are others that are english speaking in her class, and she said she would feel happier if she could understand everyone-naturally so would I.   I have been chewing over taking her to England for a year or 2 to build up her confidence, get her more use to being away from me, and actually trying to get her to like school.  Not only that I thought if she could get the hard bit of learning to read and write over with in a nice environment prehaps when she returned here she would only have language to concentrate on, if that makes any sense, which I have heard advised my a teacher in the UK.  The whole application school process looks scary this late in the day ready for September, but not impossible-so if anyone could give me any advice, stay or go would be cool, especially if you are teacher or had experience of this type of thing.  What would you do?  Please only serious answers, as this is a serious issue for me and would mean lots of changes for a while.  Also it would give me opportunity to take care of my granparents for a little while, who are not n good health and have no one to help.   Thanks for reading

[Old Daffodil]

Sorry to hear your little one is not happy at school. How old is your little girl? Would it mean leaving your partner/husband behind if you went to England?You sound as if you are having an emotional tug of war.

[welshbrickie]

a difficult situation,I would stay here in turkey,you will have the same problems in the uk,she will have to adapt there with new friends,although there is a culture/language barrier,it will get better,she will adapt as pretty soon will make some really good friends and not want to move.We know a couple of people who have been through the same difficulties and now love it here.
Best of luck to you.

[Liz 101]

Yes, this is a serious comment; depending on where you intend to go in the UK, you could find that there is still a language & / or cultural barrier between your daughter & her classmates.

[Scunner]

It is a very difficult situation, we lived it 5 years ago and I can't tell you how empty we felt, dropping our 3 year olds off at Ana Sinif, walking away knowing that they wouldn't understand a word (even the teachers didn't speak a word of English and there were next to no British kids there back then). But the simple truth is that you can't live your life beside them and the longer you leave it, the harder the language is to learn for them. Ours learned Turkish this way, totally fluent and bilingual at 6 years old. We also saw other British kids join (and later join the school too) and it is amazing how quickly they all pick up the language, and help each other too. It's the older kids I feel sorry for - the 14 and 15 year olds who sit and stare at a blackboard all day long with absolutely no idea what is going on.

I do think that in at the deep end is the way to go - there is no guarantee that your daughter would be any different in the UK. It's hard, very hard but the positives are more than knowing two languages - our kids learned respect, compassion, values and how to wrap adults around their little fingers, all in a way that is not available to learn in the UK and that is literally priceless. We are nearly 3 years gone from Turkey now but those characteristics shine through as bright as ever today.

I know exactly where you are and what you are feeling - it is like dropping your child into a cruel situation and leaving them to it and I remember the feeling in my stomach as we walked away. BUT! It is the very best way to start the integration process and your daughter will come out of it well rounded and most definitely happy.

[Harmless]

Also, if you stay away for a year or two, then she would have a similar problem again.  My grand daughter also is starting 1st year after Ana okul and we are keeping her in the same school in order to make it easier.  It may be your daughter will be better in school as there will be new children who did not go to ana okul and they will likely be more wobbly than she will, which may then make her feel like a 'big girl' and make the transition easier for her.

[heatherhanum]

I agree totally with you Keith.

[jackstee]

Right on Keith
Our son was 4 when we first came in 98.
I moved to several different places, Kemmer,Mersin,Ismir, Sorgun. Often living in places where nobody spoke any English. We all learn't but our lad finally enjoyed it.
He came back for the first time in 8 years, last year, and he was worried he may of forgotten it.
But no probs.
Yes it is difficult but easier if they are yound and they get over it quickly.

[Julesp]

Totally agree with the advice, if you plan on making your life here you will do her no favours giving in to her, you may find that while she cries to you about it she is absolutely fine most of the time while there.
When I was child I suffered with serious asthma attacks and was sent down to Broadstairs in Kent from Stoke On Trent, to what was termed an Open Air Residential school as they thought the sea air would be beneficial, There I lived with 50 other children with similar problems for most of the year, only going home for the summer and Christmas holidays, I was there for 3 years between 7 and 10 years of age, I came from a family of 8 and of course missed them and when I did go home I would probably have made my mums life a knightmare moaning and crying that I didnt want to go back after the hols, I also had to learn another language, southern!, I had no idea what plimsolls were, amongst numerous other words! the truth was that while I was there I loved it! We had lessons on the beach and evrything was done outside, weather permitting

I know its very difficult , my mum said it was difficult for her sending me to that school too, though maybe she was glad of the rest secretly!

Your daughter would probably find it difficult being away from you wherever she goes to school, Just encourage her and be there for her when shes at home, I am sure she will settle before too long and will be happy and bilingual too, what a boost that will be to her job searching when shes older

Good Luck

[heatherhanum]

Just remember if you have doubts,worries or concerns your daughter will pick this up. Just try to be enthusiastic about things, Give her lots of encouragement and she will be fine. As already mentioned above she is probably fine once she is at school. She is a very lucky little girl to have this experience and opportunities.