Last night I reached for my liquid viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Tippex.
I woke this morning with a huge correction. :
The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers.......
so I did....she's 21 and her name's Lucy.
My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees.
I thought she was joking........And then I saw her face.
Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting paedo and other names
at me just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50.
It completely spoilt our 10th anniversary.
My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Swan Vesta's.
His little face lit up when he tried to walk..
Unfortunately, I forgot to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage.
