It was a few years ago,before the Iron Curtain came down,that I found myself having to get a flight from Odessa in the Crimea(former Soviet Republic)to Frankfurt in West Germany.The Aeroflot bomber,which I am convinced it was,was sitting on the runway and I was herded aboard with a group of German tourists who had had their cruise around the Black Sea terminated due to Chernobyl nuclear power station trying to burn its way through to Australia.As I tried to find my designated seat on the alraedy full plane ,I spotted a young lady who I had not had a chance to say goodbye to come towards me with a huge bunch of flowers."BEEELLLL"she said in the Russian way of pronouncing Bill,"You did not say goodbye".How the heck did you get on the plane I asked her,"Is no problem,i went to school with guard on gate"Thats how things worked then,Its not what you know,its who you know.This series of eyeopeners contnued when I found I had no actual seat to sit in."Niet Problem" said the Senior Commandant,sorry stewardess,a deckchair ,complete with stripy fabric was produced and placed behind the pilots door and at take off I slid backwards down the centre aisle.Can this get more surreal I thought.YES.The stewardess then came round and asked if we would like a drink.If you said"DA",thinking that a welcome G&T might be coming your way,you were quickly disillussioned. You were given the communal plastic glass and water was poured from a jug into it.The warder,sorry stewardess, then stood and waited while you drank it before moving on to the next victim,sorry passenger.These days with Thomas Cook,Monarch,etc.looking after us I wonder how I ever made it through the 20th Century without Health and Safety looking after me. Bill.