Author Topic: Idıot sightings.  (Read 2255 times)

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Offline mary62

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Idıot sightings.
« on: August 25, 2012, 20:37:16 PM »



Made me laugh.

IDIOT SIGHTING No 1.


 


My daughter and I went to the McDonald's drive through check-out window to pay our bill and I gave the clerk a £5 note plus a 20 pence piece. Our total bill was £4.20. She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.' She sighed and went to get the Manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're sorry but we do not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change. Do not confuse the clerks at MacDonald's !!



 


IDIOT SIGHTING No2.


 


We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a moment, and said that we had the largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.' We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park, near Watford .


 


IDIOT SIGHTING No3.


 


I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the Highways Department to request the removal of the 'DEER CROSSING' sign from our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars on this stretch of road! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.' Story from Potters Bar, Hertfordshire.


 


IDIOT SIGHTING No 4.


 


My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried Chicken and ordered a Taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had Iceberg Lettuce. From South Oxhey, Hertfordshire.


 


IDIOT SIGHTING No 5.


 


I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' Happened at Luton Airport.


 


IDIOT SIGHTING No 6.


 


The traffic light on the corner buzzes when the lights turn red and it is safe to cross the road. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged friend of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She is a Local County Council employee in Harrow, Middlesex. (And she's NOT blonde)


 


 


IDIOT SIGHTING No7.


 


When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the Service Department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door-handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I've already done that side..' This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans, Hertfordshire. STAY ALERT! They walk among us.



Offline Highlander

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Re: Idıot sightings.
« Reply #1 on: August 25, 2012, 20:53:04 PM »
Only yesterday I was on the phone to Culloden Police Station. I asked the lady officer if she could give me the telephone number of Area Command.

"No" she said "but I can give you the number of the Burnett Road Station"

Northern Constabulary's Area Command is at Burnett Road. :(

Offline Highlander

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Re: Idıot sightings.
« Reply #2 on: August 25, 2012, 21:08:11 PM »
And today I received an Electoral Roll Registration Form which askes me to list everyone living at your address on 15 October 2012

And it actually says "You don't have to wait until then to fill it up :(


Offline Highlander

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Re: Idıot sightings.
« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2012, 21:27:16 PM »
Some muppet on here has just said the moon is a planet ;D

Offline Scunner

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Re: Idıot sightings.
« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2012, 21:30:17 PM »
A woman standing at one of the carousels after arriving in Turkey looked very flustered, so I asked her if she was ok. She asked "Is this for the Dalaman flight?". "Yes" I replied, "but all of them are for Dalaman flights". :D

Offline suemolly

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Re: Idıot sightings.
« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2012, 09:51:23 AM »
my 21 year old niece was on the bus yesterday with my 11 year old son (her cousin) and when passing the local boating lake said to her cousin, arent those ducks big?  To which he replied "thats cos they are geese".

On the same bus journey a 5 year old girl asked my niece at the top of her voice "do spidars have bones", my niece just went red and said she didnt know.  The little girl then informed her that no they didnt have bones.

The rest of the journey was spent with my niece hanging her head in shame and my son chuckling at her.

Offline welshbrickie

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Re: Idıot sightings.
« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2012, 10:31:21 AM »
my neighbours car battery was flat and asked for my help.(the lights were on barely lit)I said your lights are on."yes he said I thought my battery was faulty so I left my lights on all night to check"
He was a local magistrate.

Offline Highlander

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Re: Idıot sightings.
« Reply #7 on: August 30, 2012, 19:00:06 PM »
Saw this sign on a wall today. It's in this section because of what wall the "idiot" out it on. Any guesses  :)




Offline cheers

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Re: Idıot sightings.
« Reply #8 on: August 30, 2012, 19:03:56 PM »
On the Fire Brigade wall  8)

Offline Highlander

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Re: Idıot sightings.
« Reply #9 on: August 30, 2012, 19:29:41 PM »
Correct !  :(

Can you imagine – you leave the chip pan on it starts a fire.

What do you do ?

 Jump in the car of course and drive to the Fire Station to find out the emergency number from the sign on the wall.

Then you realise you’ve left your mobile in the inferno so have to drive about to find a telephone box that hasn’t been vandalised.




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