Awh Peter, nobody on here has anything but sympathy for the situation you (through no fault of your own) find yourself in.
If anything I have posted (in good faith) is partly to blame for your heartwrenching posts, I'm truly sorry

.
I look at your situation from a different angle, I've lived through a similar scenario & know only too well the anguish & worry, the hope & fear you are living.
The info I posted last re: Tapu & Habitation costs, is to the best of my knowledge accurate & correct based on the info you posted. If, you have been told something different by someone? tell us what's been said, someone will be able to offer an opinion/advice. There are many members here who know the property process very well, you will, I'm sure, only get honest advice & help from them.
Myself & other's have nothing to gain from you & sincerley have your best interests at heart.
Honest info & feed-back will not always be what you want to hear, it's sometimes impossibly difficult to accept the Real situation you find yourself in.
Keep strong Peter, not everybody looses the battle, you are still in with a chance but you do have a fight on your hands.
Take good care, best wishes x